A Woman Is No Man

Deya steps off the subway and onto the streets of Manhattan, where she is overwhelmed by the frantic tempo and multitudes of people. She has no idea which way to go, so she asks a stranger. He points her in the direction of the address on the business card, and she soon locates the bookstore. Although she is terrified of being found out by Fareeda and Khaled, her curiosity is stronger. She enters the store. Near the back, she meets the same woman who left the envelope on her stoop. After a few moments of confusion, she finally recognizes her: Sarah, Fareeda’s daughter.

Despite her second pregnancy, Isra continues her full schedule of household chores. She feels guilt over not breastfeeding Deya. She also worries she will bear another girl, a worry reinforced by Fareeda’s joking that she may have to find Adam another wife if that happens. Isra has learned to read Adam’s moods. He is often angry at the demands Fareeda and Khaled place on him, expecting him to work longer hours and earn more money. Isra does her best to placate him. Other times, he is happy. On those occasions, he frequently forces himself sexually on her. Isra endures these encounters to keep peace in the house.

Over dinner a few days later, Isra notices Adam’s bloodshot eyes and wonders if he’s getting sick. His behavior seems erratic. He prods Isra to be more talkative, to be more like Fareeda, but she is too cowed by fear and loneliness. Fareeda, he tells her with admiration, raised their family in a refugee camp. Although life was difficult, she “rolled up her sleeves and endured” (129). When Isra finally speaks, she asks Adam to help her navigate Fifth Avenue, the main thoroughfare in Bay Ridge. Adam refuses, warning that unscrupulous people will take advantage of her. He also worries about his reputation, wondering what the community would think if they saw his wife “wandering the streets alone” (130). Rebuked again, Isra feels anger rise in her, but then she considers that maybe Adam’s overprotectiveness comes from love, a thought that gives her a small measure of hope.

Deya and Sarah sit in the bookstore café. Sarah wants Deya to understand that, when it comes to suitors and marriage, she has “options.” Deya is skeptical, unsure if she can trust Sarah. Sarah claims she has information about Isra and Adam and “a lot of other things too” (134). When Deya asks why Sarah would fly all the way to New York to tell her this, Sarah confides that she has not been living in Palestine and never got married.

Fareeda and Khaled travel to Palestine to find a bride for their son, Omar. Two months later, they return with Nadine, a lively and personable girl who is exactly the opposite of Isra—a calculated choice by Fareeda, who does not want another Isra in the family. She hopes Nadine will show Isra “what womanhood should look like” (138).

Over dinner, Fareeda reflects on her early years of marriage with Khaled: the submission, the severe beatings. In her memory, a neighbor in the refugee camp tells her that Khaled is an alcoholic; he spends nearly half his daily wages on whiskey and comes home drunk every night. Given their economic struggles, this information pushes Fareeda to confront her husband and threaten to expose his secret. He finally concedes the truth, agreeing to bring home his full wages every day. In this moment, Fareeda understands, “something essential between them had shifted” (142).

Fareeda and Khaled discuss opening a new convenience store so Omar will have a steady income. The responsibility falls to Adam, who protests he is overworked as it is. When Fareeda pressures him into doing his “duty,” he accepts as long as the situation is temporary. As Fareeda thinks about Isra and the new baby, she prays this child will be a boy. She remembers her own children and how she felt cursed until she bore sons. A dark secret lingers at the edge of her memories: “‘Please, God,’ Fareeda thought, staring at Isra’s belly, ‘Don’t let this one be another girl’” (143).

Isra delivers a second girl (Nora), and she worries Adam will not love her unless she bears him a son. When she expresses her concern to him, Adam claims he’s not upset. Isra sees the constant redness in Adam’s eyes and wonders if he’s been drinking. He says he’s overworked and growing tired of the obligations his family places on him. At home, Fareeda continues to refer to Nora as balwa, just as she did with Deya. Isra writes letters to her mother in Palestine, whom she hasn’t seen in two years. She resents her mother for abandoning her to a stranger in a strange country.

Although Fareeda insists that Adam needs a son, Isra fears she cannot handle another child: “With two children now, she was beginning to discover that she was not particularly motherly” (147). Her feelings toward Deya and Nora range from anger to despair. She realizes that she cannot change her situation, so she resolves to have faith that things will eventually improve.

At the bookstore, Sarah tells Deya that she ran away from home at 18 to avoid an arranged marriage. She moved to Staten Island, changed her name, and worked two jobs to pay for community college. Deya is stunned. She cannot imagine running away: “No matter how much she was afraid of life in Fareeda’s house, the real world scared her much more” (150). Sarah tries to convince Deya to defy Fareeda and pursue her own dreams, but Deya is too afraid. She admits she would rather placate her grandmother and avoid trouble. As someone who understands Deya’s life, Sarah wants to offer her the choices Deya doesn’t know exist.

Deya tells Sarah about Isra’s letter, about her suspicion that her mother may have been suicidal, and about Fareeda’s conviction that she was possessed. Sarah claims those suspicions are unfounded, and that she knew Isra well. She reassures Deya that Isra loved her daughters despite her sadness. Deya asks about her parents’ relationship, but all Sarah can offer is that Adam “was a hard worker” (154). Deya confesses that, as a child, she heard Adam screaming at Isra and hitting her. When Sarah’s reaction confirms this memory, Deya accuses her of lying for not telling her the truth up front. She walks out of the bookstore. Sarah pleads with her to return, saying that she has more to tell her. Deya fears Sarah will not give her the full story, but she realizes she has to trust her, as Sarah is her only viable connection to her past.