All the Broken Pieces

Matt’s father takes him to another Veteran Voices meeting, and Matt listens to the veterans telling stories, with the most talkative men reminding Matt of “an opened fire hydrant / gushing words and tears” (126). The men recall fellow soldiers dying and children with explosives tied to their bodies and wonder how to “turn [the memories] off” (127). Matt wishes he could hear “soothing” music (129), instead of these “messy” words “like splattered blood” (129). That night, Matt thinks about what would happen if he told his own story. Would his mother still allow Matt to watch Tommy, he wonders, “or would she / pick him up / and push [Matt] away?” (131).

Coach Robeson misses three days of practice, and when he returns, he’s coughing and appears “thinner and tired” (133). He tells his team he went to the doctor about his lingering cough, and he’ll need to have treatments that might make him sick, so he can’t coach for a while. Matt “hope[s] it’s not good-bye” (134), and that night he asks his dad about Coach’s illness. His father says that “some cancers […] creep up on you / and invade so deep on the inside” that by the time they’re outwardly apparent, “it’s too late” (135). Matt’s mother counters that if cancers are caught soon enough, they can be cured, but Matt concludes that “the bases / are loaded against” (136) his coach. Matt suggests they hold a dinner for Coach at the local community center, the Pavilion, to show their support, and his mom agrees to make some phone calls.

Matt has a nightmare of “fire in the darkness” (137), blood and rain and the sensation he’s “sinking in mud” (137). His parents comfort him, his mother singing: “We have found you and we love you. / You will never be alone” (138).

On Friday night, Matt’s family and the other baseball team members invite Coach Robeson to dinner in the Pavilion’s Green Room. Matt’s teammate Rob’s father, Mr. Brennan, makes a speech and speaks as though the coach is “already dead” (140), talking about how much the team will miss him. Mr. Brennan attempts to talk about his son, Rob’s brother who died in Vietnam, but “his voice / begins to quaver” (141), and eventually Coach Robeson himself takes Mr. Brennan’s place at the podium. Matt notices Mr. Brennan and his wife embracing, clinging to each other “like some lost / two-headed creature” (142), while Rob himself appears to be wiping away tears.

At the podium Coach seems “smaller […] like he’s already / disappearing” (143) as he speaks to his team. Coach says that dealing with cancer isn’t “half as tough / as sending your kids off to war” (144). The real heroes, Coach goes on, are the young men who “gave up their youth— / and for some, their lives” (144) to fight in the Vietnam War. Next, Coach aims his comments directly at the young baseball team members, telling them he’ll “lick this disease” (144) if he can, but even if he can’t, he wants the boys to keep giving their all. Matt wants to stand and promise the coach he’ll do his best, but he feels “stuck” to his chair and wonders: “Why can’t I ever say the things / I want to say?” (145). Finally, Coach urges his team to work together, since “that’s what sports is all about” (146). Matt wishes the U.S. brought baseballs to Vietnam, “instead of bombs” (146), as the dinner ends.

Until the school replaces Coach Robeson, the assistant Coach Louis and a teacher, Mr. Chambers, work together to coach the team. Rob takes advantage of Mr. Chambers’s distraction to “accidentally” (147) bump into Matt and call him names. On the plus side, the shortened practices give Matt more chances to practice piano, and he improves till Jeff compliments him on his “nice touch”—“not too heavy, not too soft, / just right” (149).

Matt no longer has the nervous “elevator / feeling” (150) the next time he goes to the veterans’ meeting—he “want[s] / to go […] want[s] / to remember” (150). At this meeting, Jeff finally formally introduces Matt to the rest of the group, saying that some of the vets find it difficult to share the space with “a Vietnamese kid […] reminding you / of the place / we all want to forget” (153). Matt feels “strange” (153) when he hears himself referred to as Vietnamese—he’s “not sure what” (154) that means to him.

Jeff goes on to explain that Matt was born during the war—“his whole life was the war” (155)—to an American father who abandoned him, and at the age of nearly 10, he was one of the oldest children airlifted out of Vietnam. His mother, Jeff emphasizes, “entrusted” (155) Matt to the American soldiers, so the soldiers “must have done / something good” (156). Jeff describes Matt’s mother’s “faith” and “love” (156) in doing whatever she can to save her son, and Matt is stunned. He always thought his mother gave him away because Matt failed to protect his brother, but now he considers that perhaps “she gave me away / because she loved me” (157).

Jeff concludes that the vets should believe they “did some good” (158), should remember the “hundreds of kids [they] saved” (158). Next, Jeff asks if Matt would like to say anything, but Matt declines. The other vets share more hopeful stories, remembering the friends they made in Vietnam. After the meeting, a vet approaches Matt and thanks him for coming. He tells Matt not to be too disappointed in his birth father—“it’s hard to come home” after being in Vietnam, “but it’s harder to go back” (161).

In the car on the way home, Matt’s father asks him about Vietnam. Matt still doesn’t want to talk, and his father understands, but says that “someday, / I hope you will” (162). That night while he’s falling asleep, Matt hears his birth mother’s voice and “want[s] to follow” (163), but instead he simply sleeps till morning.

Mr. Chambers announces the team will have a new coach “handpicked / by Coach Robeson” (164), and the new coach turns out to be Chris from the veterans’ group. The other team members resist the idea of a coach in a wheelchair, wondering: “How can he coach us when he can’t even walk?” (166). Matt also questions the decision to make Chris coach, thinking that if he had scars like Chris’s, he’d “never go outside again” (167). Outwardly, however, Matt defends Chris, telling the others to “Give him a chance!” (167). Rob knocks Matt over and puts his fist in Matt’s face, and Coach Louis has to pull Rob away as practice begins.