Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother

Chua believes that the primary role of the parent is to be a disciplinarian. She does not think that children need to have inborn skills to succeed, “just skills learned the diligent, disciplined, confidence-expanding Chinese way” (8). To Chua, all enjoyment in life comes from mastery, and mastery requires discipline. Therefore, from a young age, children should understand that discipline comes first, and enjoyment comes later.

Chua divulges anecdotes that demonstrate her toughness as a parent. Three-year-old Lulu memorably challenges her authority by proving that she would rather brave frigid temperatures than cooperate: “Lulu’s teeth were chattering, but she shook her head again. And right then I saw it all, as clear as day. I had underestimated Lulu” (13). Instead of giving in, Chua intensifies her disciplinarian approach to Lulu, which causes constant battles throughout Lulu’s childhood.

For Chua, even showing affection requires discipline: A four-year-old Lulu and a seven-year-old Sophia learn the hard way that inadequate effort must be improved, even in the birthday cards they present to their mother. When Chua thinks the girls’ handmade birthday cards are sloppy, she verbally attacks her daughters: “‘I work so hard to give you good birthdays! I deserve better than this. So I reject this.’ I threw the card back” (103).

Chua mostly attributes her particular brand of toughness to her Chinese upbringing and prides herself on exemplifying the discipline that she believes Western parents lack. She does not go easy on herself either. Like the Suzuki method, successful parenting requires the parent to endure the child’s trials: She learns difficult piano pieces alongside her children, taking copious notes and modeling how to work hard to achieve results. She believes this is important because “[t]o get good at anything you have to work, and children on their own never want to work” (29). Even after a child achieves a high level of mastery, the discipline must continue because “[a] fundamental tenet of being Chinese is that you always do all of the extra credit all of the time” (69), there is no room for slacking or rest, even if you already believe yourself to be the very best.

One downside of extensive parental discipline that the memoir demonstrates is that it circumscribes the child’s world (no sleepovers, TV, or playdates) and causes anxiety for both parents and children. Chua teaches her children that everything and everyone around them has the potential to harm them. Whether it is a classmate who is a bad influence or a potential person who could hurt them, Chua has tremendous anxiety about everything that could bring about her daughters’ downfall. She often invokes her mother-in-law, Florence, as an example of the opposite style of parenting:

At Crystal Lake, Florence felt that her granddaughters should be able to swim, walk, and explore wherever they pleased. By contrast, I told them that if they stepped off our front porch, kidnappers would get them. (97)

Where Florence sees opportunities for fun, Chua sees opportunities for danger, and urges her daughters never to let the desire for adventure cloud their judgment.

After the book’s publication, news outlets were interested to know what Sophia, then 17, and Lulu, then 14, thought of Chua’s Tiger Mother parenting style. Both girls supported their mother, publishing interviews such as Lulu’s New York Post interview “I was raised by Tiger Mom—and it worked” (28 Mar. 2018) and Sophia’s The New Yorker interview, “The Tiger Cub Speaks” (2 Feb. 2014). In the end, how children and parents respond to such a high level of discipline is deeply individual, and the approach has equal possibilities of failure and success.