Being Henry David

Fiction | Novel | YA | Published in 2013

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Summary

Background

Chapter Summaries & Analyses

Chapters 1-4

Chapters 5-7

Chapters 8-11

Chapters 12-15

Chapters 16-18

Character Analysis

Themes

Symbols & Motifs

Important Quotes

Essay Topics

Tools

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Discussion Questions

Themes

Identity in the Absence of Memory

After Danny Henderson loses his memory, he must rediscover who he is without a sense of his past. He wakes up at the novel’s start with no recollection of his name, home, family, or life before the present moment. This absence of memory challenges Danny to rethink who he could be, what he may have done, and what his future might hold for him. However, understanding the world from a proverbial blank slate is frightening, complicates Danny’s ability to make decisions, and is an obstacle in his friendships. Because “nothing in [his] life is familiar,” he feels as if he’s “standing of the edge of a cliff every damn minute, rocks crumbling under [his] feet” (51). This metaphor—which foreshadows Danny’s eventual mastering of the cliff face in the form of Mount Katahdin—captures the uncertainty of Danny’s circumstances and the feeling of danger that this uncertainty brings. The blank space also invites a variety of counterfactuals. At times, Danny delves into thought experiments about his old life, wondering if he has “a rich father” or “a cute girlfriend” (52, 73). At other times, Danny is overcome by terror that he might have hurt someone and therefore might be a bad person. The novel uses these dynamics to suggest that in the absence of memory, an individual’s personhood is uncertain, conflicted, and frightening.

Danny starts to understand himself better once his memories begin to return. The picture he finds of himself in the missing children database is a narrative device used to trigger these memories in Chapter 12. Seeing the picture causes Danny to “switch places and [...] become [the] boy” he once was (185). In the past, Danny was a well-behaved, compliant, and sacrificial son and brother. He bent his needs and desires to those of his mother, father, and sister. This version of himself, however, conflicts with the version of self Danny has shaped in the narrative present. As Hank, he has learned what it means to acknowledge, identify, and validate his own emotions, and to balance his needs with his empathy for the needs of others. This is why Danny decides that he must “find a way to be the best of Danny, plus Hank” (288)—a mature, more integrated self. Remembering who he was helps him understand who he wants to be. His amnesia has both complicated and allowed this journey to self-discovery and given Danny the strength to claim his truest self.

Influence of Literature on Personal Growth

Danny’s relationship with Henry David Thoreau’s Walden is important in a variety of ways. Danny senses a connection with the text as soon as he wakes up in Penn Station and discovers the book next to him. At first, Danny assumes is most valuable as a physical object—possibly it contains clues about his identity or home. However, after he risks his safety to retrieve the book from Frankie, searching for “the clues that Walden [...] might hold” (11) proves disappointing. The book doesn’t contain Danny’s name or any mementos of his past life.

Danny soon learns to value Walden for its content, which he initially approaches in a very literal way: The book guides Danny to Concord, Massachusetts, where Thoreau wrote—a location that has become “familiar in a way [he] feel[s] to [his] bones” (29) because of his prodigious ability to memorize what he reads. Thoreau’s writings about the Concord woods and Walden Pond grant Danny “the closest feeling so far to home” (29), replacing his missing memories with those of the author.

Eventually, however, Danny’s connection to the book grows deeper, challenging Danny, who internalizes many of its dictums, capturing the power of literature to provide insight into the self. Danny’s immersion in Walden and his imaginary conversations with Thoreau grant him peace, clarity, and guidance. He starts to see Thoreau in his dreams because he feels connected to Thoreau’s writings. Inspired by Thoreau’s idea that one can “be happier without” “houses and possessions,” and might find “peace [...] in the woods” (63), Danny spends time in the Walden Pond State Reservation and surrounding Concord region. He is channeling Thoreau’s experiences and Thoreau’s energy to better understand himself. Because he’s “starting from absolutely nowhere with absolutely nothing” (80), he believes that he is the best possible student of Thoreau’s writing. Danny’s dream conversations with Thoreau allow him to externalize his inner critic and to slowly unravel painful memories that he cannot yet integrate into his conscious mind.

Finally, Danny’s relationship with Thoreau transcends Walden. Feeling like he owes something to the author who has given him so much, Danny decides to follow Thoreau to Maine, where he hopes to summit Mount Katahdin for Thoreau, who never finished the climb. Thoreau’s determination to find his true self despite all odds resonates with Danny. Following Thoreau’s philosophies helps him to reconcile with who he’s been and to “figure out who [he’s] supposed to be next” (282, 283). Walden thus reaches him in ways that even his closest friends cannot.

Impact of Trauma on Self-Perception and Behavior

Danny’s traumatic experiences in Illinois fracture his memory and complicate the way he sees himself and how he behaves. When Danny wakes up in New York City without any memory of his past, he starts to fear that he’s committed a crime that he can’t remember. He has no access to his life before the narrative present and is thus haunted by the possibilities of who he might have been. Jack Zane’s guesses about Danny’s story in Chapters 2 and 3 further complicate how Danny sees himself. He hates the idea that he is anything like Jack, particularly because being alone with Jack “makes [him] want to take another hot shower and scrub [his] skin raw” (46-47). The image of Danny scouring himself “raw” conveys Danny’s desperate desire to be cleansed morally as well as physically. He longs for purity and is afraid that his amnesia means that he is in fact a bad person. Throughout his journey toward self-discovery, Danny’s physiological reactions to sounds, images, and experiences trigger similar physiological responses, augmenting his fear of who he might be.

When Danny eventually remembers what he did to his sister, he must face this horrific event and who he is because of it. Weighed by guilt for having harmed his beloved sister, Danny blames himself for hurting his parents and bringing another tragedy into their lives. He’s always felt that his purpose “was to fulfill the expectations of other people” (191); crashing the car, injuring Rosie, and fleeing home without notice disappointed these expectations and this version of self. To move beyond this trauma, Danny must free himself from the belief that he must forever be defined by his worst action. At the same time, he doesn’t know how he’ll “go on living with [this guilt] forever at the core of [him]” (295). He has convinced himself that his mistakes are proof that he isn’t a good person.

During his Mount Katahdin climb—physical exertion that he has chosen to do rather than had forced on him by the return of his memories—Danny learns that “Choosing life means facing pain” (296) that he’s not sure he’s strong enough to face. However, once Danny decides to forgive himself, he is able to see himself anew. His Mount Katahdin climb particularly transforms him and teaches him how to be gracious with himself. The climb gives Danny the space to confront his trauma and to move beyond it. Reaching the summit and climbing back down the mountain symbolize Danny integrating his pre-trauma and post-trauma selves.