Bossypants

Fey describes her father Don Fey as a “strong father figure” who “looks like Clint Eastwood,” “dresses well,” “looks like he’s ‘somebody’” (43), and who inspires awe and respect from passersby on the street. Once, in a deserted airport parking lot, two men approach him, and he prepares himself to be hassled; however, the men compliment him instead. A Korean War veteran, former Philadelphia fireman, and “Goldwater Republican” (45) who disapproves of “Alan Alda’s bleeding-heart liberal propaganda” (46), he intimidates Fey with his stern expression and amuses neighborhood kids with his swearing at Phillies games. Although he grew up in West Philadelphia with a diverse group of friends, Don Fey has “pre-Norman Lear racial attitudes” (45) in which apprehension about one’s bike being stolen by black West Philly kids, for example, is not racism but rather experience.

Don Fey pronounces things either “defective” or “inexcusable”—after all, “[w]as it too much to expect the rest of the world to […] pay attention to details?” (48). Fey recalls an incident in which, frustrated by the “defective” (48) rug shampooer he’d rented, he takes Fey to return it at Pathmark and leaves her by herself in the store while he drives back home for the bottle of shampooer she’d failed to bring. She considers how her daughter at six will be less afraid of her than she was of her father at 18 and wonders how she can give to her daughter “the gift of anxiety” that her father gave her, stating that kids “need to be a little afraid of what will happen if they lose the top of their Grizzly Adams thermos” (50).

Like others in “the Silent Generation” (50), Fey’s father prioritizes value over brand loyalty. He tends to her after her face is slashed with the stoicism and “swift calm of a veteran and an ex-fireman” (50). When in his presence, other powerful men “stand down” (51), and Fey understands that they view her differently after meeting him. Of all her colleagues, Colin Quinn is the most “direct,” stating bluntly that her father “doesn’t fucking play games” (51).

At University of Virginia, Fey, “a wide-hipped, sarcastic Greek girl with short hair that’s permed on top,” feels out of place among “the sorority girls with their long blond ponytails and hoop earrings” (53). Unlucky with boys, she is excited when an architecture student she calls “handsome Robert Wuhl”—or "HRW" (54)—seems to take an interest in her. The two spend most of their time kissing in his car at night; Fey observes that the secrecy of their encounters should have been “a red flag” (55). She isn’t disappointed that he “claimed to have some ethical/religious reasons for not going all the way”; had he wanted to have sex, she would have been “terrified” (55). HRW sometimes brings dates other than Fey to drama department parties, and one time he takes Fey to the mall so that he can buy a present for another girl. He is amused by how much she eats, and she hopes “her ability to eat like one of the guys” (56) will inspire him to take her as his girlfriend.

HRW asks Fey to climb Old Rag Mountain with him one night, and Fey believes “that [they] were in this for the romance” even though HRW’s grumpy roommate joins them. Fey finds climbing difficult but enjoyable, and HRW frequently runs ahead. At one point, he falls off the mountain; he is banged up but otherwise unhurt. When they reach the summit, they rest for a while, Fey looking forward to “funny business” (59). However, HRW talks wistfully to Fey about a girl he likes, whom he’d taken up the mountain just two days before.

Although disappointed, Fey “couldn’t help but be excited about the fact that [she] had climbed a mountain” (59). She adds that exercise machines should promise sex at the end of a workout, for “people will perform superhuman feats for even the faint hope of that” (60).