Catch-22

Major –– de Coverley is an impressive, quiet, and awe-inspiring figure (the narrative refers to him as Major –– de Coverley, with the dashes, because he is so intimidating that everyone is too afraid to ask his first name). When he believes that the Army has already advanced beyond Bologna (thanks to Yossarian’s interference), he flies to the nearby city of Florence to ensure that his men have somewhere to stay during their leave. Arranging places for the men to stay, “kidnapping Italian laborers” (113), and throwing horseshoes are the three ways in which the major helps the squadron. He was known both for appearing in all the victory parades for the American Army and for renting an entire floor in a Rome apartment building for the men. The rooms were situated below an apartment belonging to an attractive Italian woman who lived there with her stepdaughter. Yossarian and the other men visited Rome often, staying in the apartment and fantasizing about their neighbors while sleeping with other women.

The one time when Major –– de Coverley was wounded was during a parade to celebrate the Allied forces capturing Rome. A flower thrown at the soldiers “by a seedy, cackling, intoxicated old man” (115) caught him in the eye and nearly left him blind. Now, he wears a clear eyepatch so he can continue his duties. The major is currently in Florence to rent rooms for the men but hasn’t returned. Major –– de Coverley has been a keen supporter of Milo’s black-market operations. Milo has been buying eggs for seven cents from the island country Malta and selling them for five cents, somehow still profiting from the enterprise. When Cathcart suggests that they promote Milo, Korn reminds him that they tried to promote Yossarian to captain once: Yossarian was promoted for a brave mission during which he returned to a bridge to ensure that it was destroyed, but a young pilot named Kraft was killed during the mission; rather than punish Yossarian for Kraft’s death, they promoted him to cover the mistake. Yossarian accepted his unexpected medal for “going around twice” (119). 

The Bologna mission begins. Unlike during his previous mission, Yossarian is reluctant to fly to the target area “even once” (120), let alone stay in the area longer than necessary to ensure the mission’s completion. He breaks his plane’s radio to sabotage the mission and tells the pilot, Kid Sampson, to return to the base. Kid Sampson complies. As the sun rises, Yossarian walks to a nearby empty beach and falls asleep. By the time he wakes up, the squadron is returning overhead. He sees that all the planes are intact and assumes that cloud cover forced the cancellation of the mission. Yossarian is incorrect: In reality, the planes arrived in Bologna and faced no air defenses, so they completed the mission and are returning to the base unscathed. Such a mission is known as a “milk run” (123).

When Yossarian and his crew return to the base, the “inoffensive joint squadron operations officers” (124) Captain Wren and Captain Piltchard are critical. Fortunately for Yossarian, they say, the squadron has another mission to bomb Bologna again. This time, Yossarian is appointed lead bombardier—and, unlike the first mission, the squadron encounters air defenses. Yossarian is shocked. The Germans shoot at Yossarian’s plane, and, with Yossarian ordering McWatt to take evasive action, they veer wildly through the sky. Yossarian, placed in the nose of the plane as the navigator, worries that he won’t be able to easily access the escape hatch. He yells at Aarfy to clear the way, but Aarfy ignores him.

When a German bullet pierces the plane’s hull and destroys Aarfy’s map, Aarfy is enraptured by the shreds of confetti “falling like snowflakes inside the plane” (127). Yossarian, looking through the window, worries that Orr’s plane has been destroyed, and he realizes he will actually be sad if Orr is killed. However, he spots Orr’s plane and utters a “prayer of thankfulness” (129). Back at base, Orr’s plane crash lands, but most of the crew survives. Yossarian decides to take some leave in Rome after the stress of nearly dying.

In Rome, Yossarian meets a “tall, earthy, exuberant” (130) Italian woman named Luciana in a bar while she is talking to another American soldier. After dancing and dining with Yossarian, she agrees to have sex with him. However, she insists that they must wait until the next day. Yossarian doesn’t believe Luciana really intends to have sex with him, so he leaves her at a “chaotic bus depot” (131). After walking through the streets of Rome, he ends the night alone. When he returns to the squadron’s rented apartment, he discovers that the men are berating Aarfy for not sleeping with a woman because he believed that she was “too nice” (133).

The next morning, Yossarian wakes up to the sound of Luciana at the apartment. She wants to make good on her promise but only if his room is clean. While he goes to the bathroom, she tidies his room. They have sex, and as they lie in bed afterward, she tells him how the American bombing campaign in Naples left her with a large scar on her back. Much to his concern, Yossarian worries that he is falling in love with Luciana. He thinks that he may marry her, but when he tells her this, she calls him “crazy.” She does not believe a man could otherwise “[want] a girl who is not a virgin” (135). Thus, she cannot marry Yossarian because she believes he is “crazy.” Hungry Joe bursts into the room and tries to take a photograph of the naked Luciana. The couple slips out, passing by Nately who is in the midst of an affair with “the apathetic whore he adored” (137) but who does not feel the same for him.

Luciana believes that Yossarian won’t contact her again, but he insists that he will. When she gives him her address, however, he rips up the paper, exactly as she said he would. Later, Yossarian regrets his action and searches the streets unsuccessfully for Luciana. He is despondent. That night, Yossarian sleeps with another woman but continues to think about Luciana. When he returns to the base, Hungry Joe tells him that Cathcart has raised the mission quota to 40. Having only flown 32 missions, an anguished Yossarian runs “right into the hospital” (139). (This is, chronologically, where Chapter 1 opened.)

Yossarian enjoys the hospital, so long as there is “no one really very sick in the same ward” (140). He is still bothered by recurring nightmares of Snowden dying during a mission. Snowden’s final words—“I’m cold” (140)—echo through his thoughts. Unlike the chaotic mission, the version of death Yossarian sees at the hospital is orderly and relatively quiet. Dunbar is also in the hospital, and they discuss the Soldier in White who is completely wrapped in bandages. The heavily bandaged soldier disquiets the other patients because he reminds them of their own mortality. The patients joke about their sexually transmitted diseases. They discuss the nature of life and death, which follows a seemingly illogical, unjustified pattern. A while back, Clevinger tried to explain to Yossarian why unexpected deaths can be explained, but Yossarian was so distracted by all the different people trying to kill him that he did not pay attention. Yossarian believes that his main mission is “against mortality” (148).

Yossarian’s fabricated liver issues allow him to be admitted to the hospital whenever he wants. He remembers how he discovered how much he preferred life in the hospital while he was in Army training. The narrative jumps back to the year before:

Yossarian tries to get out of the intensive exercise at boot-camp by claiming that he has an issue with his appendix. However, he is told that appendix issues are “no good” (149) and he should mention a liver complaint instead, so he quickly changes his story. Earlier during boot-camp, Yossarian had an affair with Lieutenant Scheisskopf’s wife. She now visits him during Thanksgiving in 1943, and, during their conversation, Yossarian admits that there is nothing for which he is thankful. When he blames God, whom he calls “a country bumpkin, a clumsy, bungling, brainless, conceited, uncouth hayseed” (151), Lieutenant Scheisskopf’s wife becomes nervous with his blasphemy, and they argue.

The narrative continues in this 1943 hospital stay: Yossarian’s bed is near an airman who insists that he sees everything two times. The medical staff surmise this symptom indicates meningitis and take it seriously. After being told that his health is just fine, Yossarian copies the airman’s symptoms—shouting that he, too, sees everything twice—and gets the medical staff’s attention. He is placed on a ward with the airman and closely monitored by the doctors. When the airman dies, Yossarian claims that he now sees everything once. However, the airman’s family is coming to visit their dying son, so a doctor asks Yossarian to pose as the airman so that the family do not waste their trip. The doctor knows that Yossarian was lying about seeing things twice, but “one dying boy is just as good as any other” (153). Yossarian agrees, and he is wrapped in bandages to hide his identity. The deceased airman’s name was Giuseppe, so when Yossarian tells the family his real name, they assume that he is just delirious. They give advice to the “dying airman” Yossarian, telling him to not let anyone in heaven treat him badly “even though” he is Italian, and to criticize God for letting so many young people die. The airman’s mother tells Yossarian to “dress warm” (156) in heaven.

Yossarian, in 1944, remembers this 1943 hospital stay somewhat fondly.

Colonel Cathcart worries that he is not as successful as he should be, because he can “measure his progress only in relationship to others” (157). He is an ambitious young man who aspires to be a general. However, he relies heavily on his assistant Korn rather than his own intelligence. He resents having to rely on “someone as common as Colonel Korn” (158), even though he could not succeed without Korn. Cathcart becomes convinced that the squadron should copy a report he read in a newspaper about a chaplain who prays with the airmen before missions. He demands that Chaplain Tappman perform a similar prayer for the officers. Really, Cathcart wants his squadron to appear in a similar newspaper report to improve his own reputation. He insists that the chaplain ensure the prayer is quick and to minimize the mentions of God while calling for “a tighter bomb pattern” (161) to please the generals. The chaplain tries to explain that most prayers are lengthy and frequently reference God. He explains that he will also have to pray with the enlisted men. Cathcart is shocked that officers and enlisted men actually pray to “the same God” (162). Rather than mix with the enlisted men, Cathcart rethinks his plan. When the chaplain mentions Yossarian’s complaints about the ever-increasing number of required missions, Cathcart offers him a black-market tomato, then dismisses him. Cathcart and Korn have been growing the tomatoes and selling them on the black market through Milo.

After being dismissed by Cathcart, Chaplain Tappman runs into Colonel Korn. Though he does not continue to mock Cathcart for being an anabaptist, Korn notices the plum tomato. He doesn’t believe that Cathcart would have given one of their illicit tomatoes to the chaplain.

The chaplain goes to his tent and talks to his assistant, a “disgruntled” (167) atheist named Corporal Whitcomb who constantly seeks to undermine the chaplain. Despite his atheism, Whitcomb wants to expand the powers available to the chaplain and then take over the position himself. He believes that Tappman is weak and has no “confidence in [his] men” (169). When the chaplain doesn’t go into detail about his meeting with Cathcart, Whitcomb is offended; he doesn’t understand why Whitcomb seems perpetually offended. Tappman remembers the funeral service for Snowden, when he saw a vision of a naked man in a nearby tree. Unable to explain the vision, he keeps it to himself but wishes he could ask Yossarian about it. Whitcomb reveals that the military intelligence offers suspect that the chaplain may be the man behind the spate of Washington Irving incidents as well as the recent theft of plum tomatoes. The news only discourages the chaplain about his ability to improve people’s lives, “least of all his own” (172). He becomes anxious, while Whitmore is delighted at the chaos he has caused.