A Confederacy of Dunces

Ignatius awakes in a hospital to the sound of his mother’s voice. She throws a newspaper at him angrily. On the front page are pictures of Darlene and her bird; Mancuso arresting Lana and the three women from the party; and Jones standing over Ignatius’s large unconscious figure. The article speaks of Mancuso’s efforts to break up a “citywide high school pornography distribution syndicate” (290). Mrs. Reilly reveals that it was she who tipped off Mancuso to Ignatius’s potentially “communiss” behavior (291). Ignatius complains about his health and realizes that “an erection had been bothering him ever since he awakened” (291). He asks his mother to leave for five minutes. She refuses and eventually hands back Ignatius’s book, retrieved from the crime scene. The hospital wants $20 for the treatment, and she reveals that Robichaux has offered to pay the bill. Ignatius notices that his mother is wearing her bowling shows and is scandalized. She does not rise to his challenge.

At Paradise Vendors, Incorporated, “Mr. Clyde looked at the morning paper and fired Reilly” (293). He tries to phone the Reilly household but there is no answer.

Dr. Talc is miserable. The students have discovered one of the threats posted to him by ZORRO, and he has become a joke on campus. He thinks back on the time Ignatius and Myrna spent in his lectures. The only solution he envisages is contacting Ignatius to “extract an explanation and a confession” (294). Reading the newspaper, he splutters with surprise. Talc realizes just how low Ignatius has sunk and understands that inviting him to campus will only make matters worse. He plans to “deny everything” (295).

Ignatius’s neighbor, Miss Annie, reads the paper too. She decides to begin a petition with her other neighbor to force the Reilly family to move.

Mancuso has his photograph taken with the newspaper numerous times. As the sergeant praises him, his “olive skin flushed slightly” (296). There is talk of a promotion. Santa shows the newspaper to her dead mother’s photograph, praising Mancuso and cursing Ignatius.

Robichaux reads the paper on the way to the hospital. He decides that Mrs. Reilly’s son needs treatment before “he brought any more disgrace to his wonderful mother” (297).

George pastes the article into his scrapbook, thinking about how to hide from Mancuso while his mother vacuums. He hears a knock on the door. It is the police.

Inside her cell, Lana tears the newspaper into shreds. She is sharing the cell with the women from the party, who have been driving Lana mad. They demand to see the “pictures of yourself you got hidden in your bra” and then attack her (298).

Dorian prepares to rent out the three women’s room. Without them, he feels that his building is “completely unprotected” (299). He reflects on the party, which was a roaring success.

Unemployed, Darlene puts away her costume and cuts her picture out of the newspaper. The Night of Joy is out of business. The cockatoo has a new favorite toy: Ignatius’s novelty earring. Darlene receives a phone call about a job opportunity.

Jones complains that his sabotage was too effective. He asks Mancuso to put in a good word for him at the precinct. At least, Jones reasons, he is not Ignatius.

Mr. Levy reads the newspaper after a sleepless night. He had driven out to the hospital to supposedly visit Ignatius, only to find that he had been tricked. He has canceled most of his plans ahead of the Abelman lawsuit. Reading the newspaper, he emits a whistle through his teeth at the sight of Ignatius. Mrs. Levy offers her sympathies to the “bloated derelict,” another life Mr. Levy has wrecked (303). Mr. Levy knows that “his wife’s strange logic made it necessary for him to be ruined” in the Abelman case (304). He decides to drive to the Reilly house and confront Ignatius. If he “comes out of this all right,” he vows to change and take an active role in Levy Pants (305).

They drive into the city together, and Mrs. Levy accuses Mr. Levy of having a death wish. Mrs. Levy checks in on Trixie at the company office while Mr. Levy speeds off toward Ignatius. As he arrives on the doorstep, a neighbor reveals that no one is home. Miss Annie then admits that “Ignatius was okay until that big dog of his died” (308). This, she says, is when Ignatius and his mother started fighting. Ignatius left the church when the priest refused to speak at the dog’s funeral. After that, Mrs. Reilly started drinking, Ignatius became educated and met Myrna, and Miss Annie’s own nerves began to fray. Miss Annie runs inside as the Plymouth turns around the corner.

Ignatius and his mother exit the car, arguing. He is furious that she and Robichaux have been courting; Mrs. Reilly admits that she would marry the man if he asked. She shouts that he “learnt everything, Ignatius, except how to be a human being” (311). Mr. Levy tries to interject. All three enter the house. Ignatius denies writing the letter. The phone rings; it is Mr. Clyde, demanding his costume items be returned and informing Ignatius that he is fired. Mr. Levy begins to pity Ignatius, who drags them both to his room to reveal writings that demonstrate how much Ignatius loved Levy Pants. He suggests that Trixie may have written the letter. Mr. Levy considers this. He believes that Ignatius loves the company and that Trixie hates it. The odors in the room begin to affect him. Mr. Levy exits and speeds to Trixie’s house. The inside is decorated with junk. He accuses her of writing the letter and, confused, she admits that she did. Mrs. Levy shouts at Trixie, who smiles with delight that the annoying woman may be punished. Mr. Levy tells his wife to call the doctor and have Trixie declared insane. If she refuses, he will tell their daughters. Trixie promises to sign a document admitting that she wrote the letter in exchange for retirement. Mr. Levy declares the business will start making Bermuda shorts instead of pants, and his wife accuses him of running the business into the ground. The foundation will continue, with the first award going to Jones as a public relations maneuver. Mr. Levy sends Mrs. Levy to the store to call the doctor, the newspaper, and to buy a ham for Trixie. Once she has left, Mr. Levy stands in silence. He deduces that Ignatius really wrote the letter. He laughs to himself.