Credence

Tiernan wakes up in Kaleb’s room. She is reminded of the intense night before but does not want to face it yet. She loved the experience yet thinks that she should not have done it. Kaleb comes in and applies a salve on Tiernan’s cheek where he slapped her. Tiernan tells Kaleb that though he does not talk, she felt him tell her he cared for her through his touch the previous night. Kaleb redoes Tiernan’s dressings and puts his head in her lap. Tiernan notices a tattoo on the back of his neck: a vertical word written in cursive.

Jake arrives, shocked at the damage to the barn. He inspects Tiernan’s wound. Tiernan tells Jake about having sex with Noah and Kaleb last night. She can see that Jake is jealous, but he hides the jealousy and asks her about her college applications. She feels relieved. Jake asks Tiernan to stay in bed and rest, but Tiernan cannot bear to be alone. Jake tells Tiernan that she can roam around the house but not outside, because he suspects that the fire was deliberately set by an enemy of the Van der Bergs.

Tiernan remembers that it is Christmas and goes out in the snow. Spotting a perfect Christmas tree, she begins to collect twigs from it to make a decorative piece for the house. Kaleb materializes and helps her pick the branches. He and Tiernan throw snow at each other. Tiernan sees Kaleb happy for the first time since she has known him. Then Kaleb abruptly knocks the twigs from Tiernan’s hands and pushes her hard towards the barn. Tiernan resists and he keeps shoving her. Tiernan gives in to his embrace but insists that Kaleb not kiss her. She does not want Kaleb to be gentle with her. Kaleb pushes Tiernan against the car and has sex with her. Tiernan is torn between her desire for Kaleb and her own feelings of self-loathing. Kaleb carries Tiernan inside the car and continues to make love with her. Noah comes looking for them, but they stay hidden. Tiernan is overcome with pleasure at Kaleb’s lovemaking, and she feels that she will never meet anyone else like Kaleb.

Noah can tell that Tiernan and Kaleb have been intimate when they step out of the car. He tells Tiernan that Mirai has been calling her. Tiernan calls up Mirai and learns that the LA tabloids are running a story that Tiernan’s father was abusive to her mother and forced her into a suicide pact. Tiernan calls up her lawyer and asks him to file a suit against the offending newspapers to make an out of them. Noah cannot understand why Tiernan is so protective of her parents’ reputation given their mistreatment of her. Tiernan explains that they may have been terrible people but were still her parents.

Tiernan and Noah joke around as they make Christmas decorations together. Noah changes Tiernan’s dressings and frets about Tiernan leaving the ranch after winter. He suggests that perhaps he and Kaleb could get her pregnant to make her stay. Tiernan glances at Kaleb who is watching her and Noah with a scowl. Tiernan feels that, even though Noah is kinder to her, Kaleb is whom she wants. She goes over to Kaleb and Noah leaves the room, getting the hint. Kaleb leads Tiernan upstairs but pushes her into her room and locks her in. Tiernan pounds the door behind him, appalled at Kaleb’s jealous action.

Tiernan screams until she is exhausted and then falls asleep. Kaleb enters her room and watches her. He is sick of her promiscuous behavior with his brother and father, which he thinks of as “slutting around” (345). He is also sick of everything nice about Tiernan since it distracts him from the fact that Tiernan is actually mean. As Kaleb kisses Tiernan in her sleep, he alternates between using affectionate terms and sexist slurs for her. He touches Tiernan. She wakes up and talks to Kaleb. Tiernan tells Kaleb that she feels that he only likes her when he is having sex with her. Kaleb continues to make love to her until images of Tiernan with his father and brother pop up in his head. To Tiernan’s surprise, he stops.

Kaleb uses the belt he gifted Tiernan to tie her hand to the headboard of the bed. He now has sex with her, deliberately hurting her. Tiernan feels degraded and in physical pain. She manages to get her hand out of the belt and runs out of her room and into Noah’s. Noah holds her and asks her if Kaleb hurt her. Tiernan does not reply. Noah tells Tiernan about the time that Kaleb stopped speaking. Their mother, who had an addiction to drugs, left Kaleb in the car to go and party for a few hours. On a high, she lost track of time. Kaleb stayed locked inside the car without food for four days. When Jake found him, Kaleb was catatonic. Noah feels that something separated inside Kaleb’s head during the period he was left alone.

Tiernan feels awful for Kaleb. She acknowledges that Kaleb treated her badly tonight, but she still wants to be his friend. After Noah falls asleep, Tiernan looks for Kaleb and finds him in the shower. She tells him that she did not have sex with Noah. Then she recognizes the piece of wood that Kaleb is clutching in his hand. It is from the chest which she was restoring. Kaleb has taken it apart and set it afire. Tiernan falls into a rage and begins to smash all the furniture which she worked on with a lead pipe. She shouts at Kaleb that he cannot take anything from her, as she has nothing to lose. Jake and Noah come to the spot. Kaleb looks at Tiernan, taps his chest twice, and leaves the house.

Kaleb has been gone for a week. Tiernan keeps to herself, barely interacting with Jake and Noah. She tells Jake that she plans to leave the ranch as soon as the snow clears off the road. The charade of a family that they have been playing is over. Jake tells her that Kaleb is in love with her. The tapping gesture he made before he left means “mine” in sign language. Tiernan goes to her room and reflects that she is done crying. She wants to live life to the fullest. She joins Jake and Noah in their work.

February arrives, and Kaleb still has not returned. Tiernan has enjoyed her time alone with Jake and Noah, working around the ranch. Yet, she feels guilty that she is the reason that Kaleb is staying away. The others cannot look for Kaleb for fear of leaving Tiernan alone.

Although Tiernan often feels tempted to be intimate with Noah and Jake, she does not act on the impulse. One day, Jake asks her to take Noah with her when she leaves. He tells her that Noah hates it on the ranch and wants an out. Tiernan is conflicted, since Noah’s departure, coupled with Kaleb’s absence, means that Jake will be all by himself.

Meanwhile, Jake tells Tiernan that Mirai keeps calling him to enquire about Tiernan’s well-being. He finds Mirai aggravating but wonders if she is attractive as well. Tiernan finds the idea of setting up Mirai with Jake interesting. Later that day, she visits Kaleb’s room, missing him. As she looks through his books, she discovers that he has written his thoughts in the flyleaves and the margins of the volumes. Kaleb’s writings show that he feels that women judge him for his muteness, considering him “stooopid” (389). They also illustrate his connection to nature and his unique thought process. The journals reveal that Kaleb never hit Cici in the cave. She tried to slap Kaleb that day because he rejected her advances and instead hit her nose against his shoulder. Above all, the journals document Kaleb’s conflicted and loving feelings for Tiernan, whom he addresses only as “you” and “her.” Tiernan is moved by the words. She decides that she will not let Jake be alone and will get Kaleb back.