Demian

“On good days, when the air was bright and my conscience clear, I was often delighted to play with my sisters, to behave well with them and see myself in a good, noble light.”

Sinclair’s image implies he feels the most connected to the lighter, or “good,” world when playing with his sisters, but his claim that he only plays with them on “good days” implies that he can only take part in the lighter world when he feels he is “good” himself. As a child, Sinclair believes he can only exist as good or bad and that these characteristics cannot exist within an individual at the same time.

“The essential inner line of our destiny consists of these invisible experiences. Such cracks and tears heal, they grow back together and are forgotten, but down in our most secret recesses, they continue to live and bleed.”

When discussing the consequences of his lie in the first chapter, Sinclair’s narrative voice illustrates how this experience impacts his identity across time and place. Although this moment is painful for him as a child, his reflective tone implies that the journey from childhood to adulthood comes with the dismantling of an innocent and naïve perspective. His tone also indicates how these influential experiences help Sinclair achieve self-realization, as Nietzschean philosophy suggests.

“I couldn’t bring these thoughts to any conclusion, but a stone had fallen into the well, and the well was my young soul. For a long time, a very long time, this whole topic of Cain and the murder and the mark was the starting point for all my efforts at knowledge, all my criticism and doubt.”

After Demian reveals his interpretation of the mark of Cain, Sinclair reflects on this moment as a major turning point in his coming-of-age journey because it provides him with the tools of independent thought. Although he does not know what to do with these tools yet, his reflective tone implies that as an adult, he can decipher this moment as a pivotal time in his childhood. This also foreshadows his eventual mindset and belief system that prioritizes the self and independence above adhering to socially acceptable beliefs.

“I knew they would accept what I said with love and affection, they would be gentle with me, even feel sorry for me, but they wouldn’t fully understand me and would see the whole thing as a kind of mistake or lapse when in fact it was destiny.”

Although Sinclair acknowledges the love and kindness his family has, he also recognizes how different he is from them. Sinclair’s adult narrative voice appears in this moment through his implication that he will not adhere to his family’s “light” world despite his desire to do so in childhood. He recognizes the mutual love between them while also admitting that his path in life will diverge from his family’s way of life.

“Gratitude in general is not a virtue I believe in, and it seems wrong to me to demand it from a child. So the complete lack of gratitude I showed to Max Demian does not surprise me all that much.”

In this moment, Sinclair’s adult voice, which adheres to a reflective yet straightforward tone, provides a look at the foundational beliefs that make up his identity. Although he does not explicitly state why gratitude is not a virtue he believes in, this claim illustrates how his beliefs take shape as both a child and an adult and how he eventually utilizes language to make sense of them.

“Like everyone else, I too experienced, my slowly awakening sexual feelings as an enemy and a destroyer, as something forbidden, as temptation and sin.”

As an adolescent, Sinclair experiences physical changes in his body that also reflect his developing mind. He recognizes the juxtaposition between natural, bodily feelings and religious beliefs from his childhood, which creates an internal conflict within the narrator.

“Many people experience the death and rebirth that is the destiny of us all only this once, as childhood rots from within and slowly disintegrates, as everything we have grown to love abandons us, and we suddenly feel the solitude and deathly cold of the universe around us.”

Throughout the novel, Sinclair reflects on his childhood through a universal lens and utilizes his experiences to discuss the coming-of-age process as a universal experience. His language implies a bitterness toward adulthood, but he also acknowledges the value of independence throughout the novel as well. His reflective tone indicates how he finds the coming-of-age process to be important and pivotal to learning about oneself, while also allowing himself to mourn a loss of innocence from childhood to adulthood.

“The realization that my problem was one that every person had—a problem affecting all life and all thought—came over me like a holy shadow, and I saw, and suddenly felt, with fear and awe, how deeply my innermost life and thoughts were a part of the eternal river of great ideas.”

Here, Hesse utilizes the Jungian concept of collective consciousness, which creates a tone of familiarity within the human experience. Sinclair’s realization is compared to a religious experience because of how transformational it is in his life. Sinclair’s realization that many people experience the same emotions and ideas as he illustrates a collective identity among people, which allows Sinclair to feel relief and hesitation at the same time.

“I acted with total indifference toward the outside world and spent days at a time attending only to myself, listening to the dark, forbidden, underground currents rushing and roaring inside me.”

Sinclair’s indifference toward leaving his family to attend boarding school indicates the disconnect he feels between himself and other people. At this part of his self-discovery journey, Sinclair isolates himself, allowing him to engage with the wrong or immoral sides of himself. Nietzschean philosophy suggests that solitude allows an individual to develop their identity and achieve self-realization, which Sinclair engages with as he attempts to navigate his coming-of-age journey.

“It seemed that, at least for older people, there were wellsprings of pleasure that I had never dreamed of. At the same time I heard a false note in [Beck’s] stories—it all seemed narrower and pettier than true love would feel, in my opinion—and yet it was reality, it was life and adventure, and sitting right next to me was someone who had lived it, to whom it seemed perfectly natural.”

When Sinclair meets Beck, he discovers a new facet of the darker world through alcohol and sex, but he dismisses this knowledge as shallow and wasteful. However, his recognition that these are still valid aspects of life illustrates his willingness to learn more about life and his identity. He looks at Beck similarly to how he views Demian as an archetypal mentor and friend when transitioning to adulthood.

“I was a pig, like scum, drunk and filthy, disgusting and low, a wild animal taken unawares and overpowered by hideous urges. I, who had come from the garden where everything was purity and radiance and blessed tenderness, who had loved beautiful poetry and Bach, now looked like that inside.”

When exploring the darker world, Sinclair feels as though his internal mindset and actions negatively impact his physical appearance. He associates the image of lightness with the Garden of Eden and poetry, whereas drinking and his other escapades resemble farm animals. This passage relates to the Jungian concept of the shadow: Sinclair views his shadow, or the parts of his character he dislikes about himself, as inhuman, animal urges.

“‘The bird fights its way out of the egg. The egg is the world. Whoever wants to be born must destroy a world. The bird flies to god. The god is called Abraxas.”

The introduction of Abraxas as a symbol illustrates the union of what Sinclair deems morally right and wrong. Sinclair grew up believing that these concepts cannot coexist, but Abraxas provides the space for Sinclair to view these concepts simultaneously. The image of the bird and Abraxas connects the symbols of the god and the sparrow hawk as well, making the two symbols more complex.

“Love was no longer either the dark, animalistic drive I had fearfully felt it to be at first, or the pious, spiritual worship I had offered up to the image of Beatrice. It was both—both and much more; angelic and Satanic, man and woman in one, human and animal, the highest good and the uttermost evil. To live this love seemed to be my destiny, to taste of it my fate.”

In this chapter, Sinclair begins to develop his sense of self through a combination of all elements of natural life, both animal and human. For him, love appears to exist within the “bright world” and the “world of darkness.” This moment illustrates his character development as he creates a nuanced view of the world through his own experiences.

“I do not understand much about music, in a technical sense, but ever since I was a child I have instinctively understood this expression of the soul and felt musical things inside me as natural and self-evident.”

Sinclair illustrates an appreciation for art in a variety of forms. In this moment, he appeals to music as an expression of emotion. By claiming it is an “expression of the soul,” Sinclair correlates music to the human experience, and he searches for mediums that allow for this type of expression, such as painting and music.

“But now stop being a moralist yourself. You can’t keep comparing yourself to other people—if nature has made you a bat, you can’t decide you want to be an ostrich.”

Pistorius’s words to Sinclair indicate that his obsession with morality does not help him discover his own identity. Rather, it forces Sinclair to focus on what he is not when he should be honoring his true self. Although Pistorius also recognizes the patterns, or archetypes, in humanity, his urge for Sinclair to embrace his uniqueness serves as a guide that will propel Sinclair to self-realization.

“When we hate someone, what we hate is something in him, or in our image of him, that is part of ourselves. Nothing that isn’t in us ever bothers us.”

When Pistorius and Sinclair discuss the idea of hate, their conversation revolves around the concept of murder, relating to the story of Cain and Abel. Pistorius challenges Sinclair’s view of how hate functions for the individual, which allows him to recognize the aspects within his self that he dislikes, or his shadow, as sites of self-improvement. It further creates a nuanced view of the story of Cain and Abel and how Sinclair can relate to this story in his own life. 

“I just needed to picture [Pistorius] firmly in my mind and ask him questions as concentrated thoughts, and all the power of my soul I put into the question came back to me as the answer.”

Sinclair’s telepathic questioning of Pistorius creates a mystical tone. At the same time, Sinclair’s decision to hold onto a question and “send” it to Pistorius provides him the space to reflect on his thoughts. By utilizing the "power of [his] soul,” Sinclair relies on his sense of self and his identity to discover new conclusions about himself.

“I was free though […] I lived with [Nietzsche], felt the loneliness of his soul, trembled at the fate that had inexorably hounded him, suffered with him, and was overjoyed that there had been someone who had followed his path so relentlessly.”

Hesse’s reference to Nietzsche illustrates the influence of his philosophical teachings, which allow Sinclair to feel connected to another person. Despite Sinclair’s loneliness and isolation, he can relate to Nietzsche’s teachings and utilize his philosophy to aid his self-discovery journey.

“We unexpectedly found ourselves in the middle of a strange conversation, full of premonitions and forebodings. We had just been discussing student life, along the lines of Demian’s conversation with the Japanese man, and had moved on from that to unrelated things that seemed to be totally unrelated, but Demian’s words revealed an underlying connection.”

During Sinclair and Demian’s reunion, the narrative foreshadows Demian’s eventual death and the impending war with the use of the words “strange,” “premonitions,” and “forebodings.” This creates intrigue and mystery for the rest of the novel’s events. At the same time, their conversation provides a level of comfort and familiarity for Sinclair during a time in his life when he still feels alone and aimless. Demian grounds Sinclair in his own reality to help him continue to develop his sense of self.

“Instead nature was waiting, standing worshipfully ready to meet its destiny. That was how I had seen the world as a boy […] I hadn’t realized the world could still be so beautiful.”

As an adult, Sinclair begins to embrace the dual nature of humanity rather than believing that one can only exist in either the “bright world” or the “world of darkness.” He starts to accept his dual-faceted nature by reflecting on his childhood viewpoint. Rather than ignoring his past self, he relies on this part of himself to continue to develop his worldview.

“For it was equally clear to us all, whether the sense was spoken or unspoken that a new birth and the collapse of the present world were near, and already discernible.”

Although the narrative has yet to reveal that World War I is about to start, the novel continues to perpetuate a foreboding tone that creates mystery and intrigue. The characters also do not know what change or event lies ahead, so the narrative voice only provides a glimpse of the state of society leading up to World War I rather than revealing it directly.

“Occasionally I would be seized with mourning for this happiness, since I knew full well it would not last. I was unable to breathe in an atmosphere of comfort and fullness—I needed torment and frenzy.”

Sinclair’s contradictory tone and image indicate that he feels unsure of his present state with Demian and Eve despite simultaneously feeling fulfillment. He relishes in the feeling of peace while anticipating the impending future. By having these contradictory feelings, Sinclair reveals how life continues to move forward, and he looks forward to learning more about himself.

“With time, though, I had realized I had not given people enough credit. No matter how much their service and common danger made them all alike, I still saw many, many people, living and dying, who appreciated the will of fate with great dignity.”

Sinclair’s appreciation of the human experience allows him to connect with those around him without feeling superior or isolated from them, which is how he tends to feel about most people in his life. At war, Sinclair’s self-discovery journey shows his ability to embrace humanity as well as the experiences of all people.