Down the Drain

Content Warning: This section of the guide details substance use, heavy alcohol consumption, physical and emotional abuse, domestic and intimate partner violence, sexual violence, and death by suicide.

Down the Drain traces Fox’s journey from childhood through adulthood to explore her gradual journey toward self-discovery and empowerment. The memoir follows a linear structure and chronologically traces Fox’s experiences, coming of age, and becoming an adult. Julia’s life in New York City is significant to how she understands herself over time. Moving to the city with her dad in 1996 inspires Julia to see herself as a person with potential and possibility. The city offers her opportunities and consistently encourages her to take control of her future and identity, even in the most tumultuous periods of her life. From a young age, she takes risks and makes rebellious choices that give her independence and autonomy. In time, Julia learns how to claim her identity and stand up for herself to those who try to limit her freedom or control her self-expression. These challenges are particularly trying when Julia feels that others are “projecting [their] own limitations onto [her]” (32). However, she eventually realizes that even if others don’t “realize what [she’s] capable of” (232), she believes in her capacity to accomplish great things. Over time, her many friendships and romantic entanglements teach her what it means to show love and create boundaries with those who can’t love her. These interpersonal dynamics contribute to Julia’s self-discovery and empowerment, even when dysfunctional or fraught. This is particularly because these dynamics compel Julia to learn who she is in relation to others.

Julia’s artistic pursuits and accomplishments reinforce her developing sense of self throughout adulthood. Although Julia’s disappointments, hurts, and longings challenge how she sees herself throughout her life, her photography, writing, acting, and design work empowers her. These independent creative successes remind her of who she is, what she wants, and what she’s capable of. Her art book publication and photography gallery show launched another facet of Julia’s self-discovery and empowerment. Her work in Uncut Gems is paramount to reminding Julia that he is strong, determined, and worthy of success. After her audition, she tells herself: “I [am] Julia Motherfucking Fox. I [am] quick and witty. I [am] funny and charming” (262). Her assertive tone in this passage illustrates her newfound ability to claim who she is without shame or self-consciousness. She secures the role and feels as if “all the planets and stars in the cosmos [have] perfectly aligned and a star was born. ME” (262). The project leads to many other cinematic projects that fuel Julia’s creative spirit and energy. These successes motivate Julia to devote more energy to her modeling and design endeavors. These artistic expressions validate Julia’s worth, ability, and potential for herself and those around her. Her creative efforts and achievements ultimately empower her.