Find Me Unafraid: Love, Loss, And Hope In An African Slum

“I’d loftily told him that one incident doesn’t define a country and that, anyhow, the media was hungry for stories that fulfill white stereotypes about the violent Other.”

Jessica comes to Kenya with a naïve hope in the world, not having ever left the US. She is quick to fight off the fears of her parents, viewing the stereotypes of Africa as harmful to both the US and African communities. While her hope is naïve, she meets someone who has a deep hope born from hardship. 

“My resolve to live in Kibera strengthens as this seems like the only way to even being to break through the barriers that exist between me and the young people I’ll be working with.” 

Jessica’s resolve and stubbornness are a part of her personality that draws Kennedy to her. These characteristics are important to her survival in Kenya, and Kennedy possesses them himself, having built his organization on hope and resolve. Through the experience of living in Kibera, Jessica falls in love with Kennedy’s strength and leadership. Jessica truly immerses herself in Kibera and comes out with a changed understanding of the community and of Kennedy. 

“One day I saw something very strange, people walking around who looked like they had come directly from the grave, their skin was so pale. Mzungus. They carried a black machine that flashed bright when they pointed it at me. I screamed. I thought the machine was going to harm me, and so I fled. Later I learned it was a camera.” 

Fear of the Other is a common misconception when different cultures interact for the first time. As a child, Kennedy didn’t understand why white people’s skin was so pale, and this, along with the white flash of the camera, frightens him. The white visitors gave no thought to the fact that taking a picture of black children was an insensitive and inappropriate act. The lack of sensitivity to cultural differences and customs creates fear and misunderstanding. 

“Everyone was always afraid that the ugly deaths people died would affect them too. I was seeing how harsh the world could be; those with the most misfortune are always afraid of how quickly, how unexplainably, it can always get worse.” 

Fear is a common thread throughout the novel. Fear spreads quickly when there is misunderstanding or a lack of knowledge and education. Family members were afraid when people died of AIDS because they didn’t understand how the disease was spread. This exposure causes Kennedy to become aware of how important communication and education is in creating a peaceful community. 

“Privilege has begun to feel like an inescapable infection. I carry its implications with me, and my desire to understand how it works only seems to underscore it.” 

The privilege of being a white, middle-class American hits Jessica hard when she is Kibera. It is not something that she is able to change, so she must learn how to navigate her privilege and use it for good instead of using it to acquire more wealth. Throughout the novel she reflects on her privilege and this reflective behavior is healing and productive. 

“‘Stop.’ He cuts me short. ‘I could have had it before. I just never needed it. You know the problem with Americans? You always think the rest of the world is just waiting for your money.’ With that he goes back inside.” 

Out of her culture and environment, Jessica tries not to be a burden on Kennedy’s life. Despite this, her presence requires some changes in his lifestyle. She constantly tells him not to treat her differently, which in turn causes Kennedy to become angry. He wants to provide for her. This tension is a constant source of conflict in their relationship. 

“I get the feeling that to him I am a child, and I’m guilt-ridden because part of me feels gratitude for this, for the things I’ve never seen, the things from which my parents and my world protected me. ‘Guilt is a luxury,’ Kennedy tells me.” 

Kennedy and Jessica have a cross-cultural relationship that includes differences much deeper than their skin color. They have been raised in completely different circumstances and prosperity levels; these differences make Jessica naïve to Kennedy’s life. Jessica is uncomfortable with her naivety, a fact that Kennedy points out is in itself a result of privilege. Kennedy is not resentful or jealous of their differences, but he is matter of fact about them. 

“Everyone I talked to said with resigned attitudes: This is just how life is in Kibera. I wanted to do something. I just didn’t know what or how.” 

Hope in the face of extreme poverty is a constant theme throughout the novel. Kennedy’s ability to see outside of his situation, to see above the violence, shows how unique his perseverance is. His personality and persistence help SHOFCO succeed. His ability to not only see a change that could be made, but to allow others the possibility of hope as well, drives the project. He continues to fight for this change his entire life, despite setbacks. 

“‘If I say no, I’m a liability, they’ve told me too much. But if I say yes, then I betray my values, my dignity,’ he says slowly. ‘But maybe if we come up with a good enough reason why I can’t, maybe they will leave me alone.’” 

Kennedy lives in a tension between survival in his environment and his desire to rise above his environment. He constantly struggles against the grain of violence and despair in is his community. By attempting to escape this cycle, he puts himself in physical danger. Kennedy is successful at building SHOFCO and rising above his situation because of his ability to come up with creative solutions. His creativity and flexibility will save him from violence and the trap of poverty and despair. 

“‘Unafraid.’ He smiles. ‘The menace shall find us unafraid, just as we found each other.’” 

Reading an excerpt from the poem “Invictus” by William Ernest Henley, Kennedy reveals where the title of the book came from. The theme of fear and being unafraid appears throughout his life story and the story of SHOFCO’s success. 

“They say love is supposed to set you free, but I think love binds you. It’s only once you’re so full of joy that you can imagine the devastation of loss.” 

Throughout the book, the characters deal with loss or the threat of loss. Jessica realizes that her relationship with Kennedy makes her vulnerable to loss, and this can in turn cause fear. By accepting that love comes with boundaries and limitations, she is able to love deeply and fully, even with the risks involved. 

“For too long my community had been told we could not do anything by ourselves without money from the outside, without the financial support and wisdom from the Western world. But since we were the ones who understood all the challenges we faced, we also had the best shot at finding the solutions.” 

The exploitation of developing nations by Western countries has left entire nations bitter at the thought of aid money and foreign help. Kennedy is adamant that SHOFCO is entirely run by local Kenyans from Kibera, not rich donors from abroad or white tourists. He understands that for change to be lasting, it needs to come from within the community. 

“It takes everything in me to restrain my laughter as I imagine a delivery of cows to my house in Denver. To me this is utterly absurd—to Babi the idea is entirely reasonable.” 

Humor is used as a tool to bring lightness to heavy topics. Cultural misunderstandings can have grave and dark consequences, but they can also be minor and humorous. When Babi dines with Jessica and Kennedy—a custom to see if Jessica is worthy—he wonders how he will deliver her dowry if they are to marry. It is a humorous instance of cultural differences, one that Jessica is right not to exploit, but to say silent on. She doesn’t want to make Babi feel disgraced by laughing at him. 

“‘I know that even when the road ahead looks dark, if I pass through that darkness, I can see a little bit of light ahead. That little light that tries to shine from afar is what I call hope.’” 

Kennedy’s life story is filled with abuse, violence, hunger, and despair. Despite the terrible environment he finds himself in, he always has hope. Hope in the face of despair is a common theme throughout the novel. Kennedy’s ability to see hope, light, and opportunity in the face of darkness propels him towards change.

“I feel deeply sad, not only for the victims but also for these young men who have been so badly oppressed that now they have turned wild.” 

While Kennedy has the internal strength to see hope in the face of despair, many of his community members do not. Instead of turning to fear and violence, Kennedy chooses to forgive and understand the men who are stuck in the cycle of poverty. Kennedy’s ability to feel compassion for all parties involved sets him apart. This compassion and ability to hope saves him. 

“‘You don’t have to fight for your life here, but you do have to figure out how to be from your world and live in this one.’” 

Life is much more comfortable for Kennedy in America, free from the constant struggles of hunger, violence, and desperation. While he is physically away from his home in Kenya, it never leaves his mind. He makes plans for his return, and he must learn how to navigate his economic success and experiences at Wesleyan University with his life back home. He learns how to use these experiences in America to SHOFCO’s benefit, without sacrificing the values that he believes in. 

“I feel the girls’ keen attention and I tell them, ‘Girls, you can be anything you want.’ I know that this will be a hard promise to keep, but I resolve to dedicate myself to ensuring that this contract holds true.” 

At the dedication of the Kibera School for Girls Jessica promises to help the girls. The empowerment of women and freeing Kibera’s women from abuse and poverty is one of the main goals of SHOFCO. Jessica is committed to doing anything in her power to make this goal a reality. Throughout the novel, Kennedy and Jessica both have dreams that seem unrealistic given the current situation, but through perseverance and determination, they make it happen. 

“Money is so stressfully tight. We’re literally counting pencils, with everyone instructed not to sharpen them more than twice a day so that they last longer. Every child has to sharpen under a teacher’s supervision.” 

Having funding from Western organizations gives the unrealistic appearance of prosperity and a healthy budget. When Jessica and Kennedy win grants to start the Kibera School for Girls, they work to include the greatest number of girls with very good teachers and resources, stretching their money to the literal penny. 

“When we break the silence, we end the violence.” 

Through the girls at the school, we learn their heartbreaking stories of rape and abuse, even at 4 or 6 years old. While many of the parents are outraged, the corrupt criminal justice system in Kenya prevents many perpetrators from going to jail. Kennedy works to create a safe space for parents to file assault reports; he knows that creating a dialogue within the community will make lasting change. 

“SHOFCO has come a long way from a twenty-cent soccer ball, but without that first step, none of this would exist.” 

It is easy to be overwhelmed by the big picture. Many people don’t see change as possible because it is too big of a project, too overwhelming to change a system. Change is made one step at a time, and the two schools, medical clinic, community center, and safe house that SHOFCO manages would never have been possible if Kennedy hadn’t started with a single soccer ball and a dream. 

“She knew how much I loved Kibera and instead of uprooting me from my community, she rooted me more deeply there.” 

Being able to have a relationship with someone from a different culture and upbringing is difficult. The stark differences between Kennedy and Jessica’s backgrounds cause tension. The strength of their relationship is founded on total acceptance and understanding. Jessica is able to bring a peace and love to Kennedy despite her differences. 

“She draws me nearer and closer to my culture, spiritual life, and joyous happiness. I can’t describe how I view her, as I don’t see any blackness, whiteness, greenness, or redness. But I see love in her, I see peace.” 

The love story in the book is more than just a romantic love story between two people; it is a love story of an entire community. Kennedy didn’t marry a white woman for a passport. He married Jessica because she believes in Kibera, and she believes in his dreams and she pushes him to make a stronger organization and community. 

“There was word that intratribal violence was brewing as it had in 2007 after the election. So Kennedy brought together fifty community leaders, the people most likely to start the violence, and, most important, their wives.” 

Solutions to large problems can be as simple as having community members in dialogue. One of Kennedy’s strengths as an organizer is his ability to encourage an open dialogue among people. In addition to bringing community leaders together, Kennedy invites their wives and families to join the conversation. Wives are powerful influencers in Kenyan families, and he knows this. This is a way of empowering women and the community. His creative strategy works and helps to reduce intratribal violence.