Five Feet Apart

It is Will’s birthday, and he listens to his mother and Dr. Hamid argue over his disappointing test results, which show no improvement from the drug trial. Will and his mother argue over his desire to stop tirelessly pursuing new medical treatments. Upset, Will’s mother refers to him as a problem, which Will remarks is a “word that sums up what I’ve always been to her” (196). Will confronts his mother, barraging her with questions about who he is really is and what he enjoys before exclaiming, “ All you see of me is my fucking disease!” (197). After his mother leaves, Will notices a gift she left behind for him. He opens it and discovers “a political cartoon strip from the 1940s. An original of the photocopy I have hung up in my room” (197). Will instantly regrets his harsh criticism of his mother and realizes that he is guilty of the very crime he has accused her of committing. Will does not know anything about his mother. He recognizes in this moment that her efforts to fight his disease were for one reason: “She wants more time with me” (198).

Will spends the next few hours drawing and reaches out to Stella, whom he has not heard from all day. When he asks if she would like to take a walk, she says she is busy studying. Immediately after hanging up, a disappointed Will picks up a call from Jason, who informs Will that he can’t come visit as he, Will, and Hope had originally planned. Will feels sad but brushes off his feelings.

Will wakes up from an afternoon nap to a text from Stella that reads, “HIDE AND SEEK. You’re it. XOXO S” (200). He quickly throws open his door and discovers a balloon with a note inside it. Will pops the balloon and reads the note, which directs him to the spot where he and Stella first met. Will runs to the NICU and finds another yellow balloon. The note inside this balloon reads, “Roses are red. Or are they?” (201-02). Remembering the white rose in Stella’s hair during their date, he ventures to the atrium and uncovers the next balloon clue, which directs him to the pool, where he sees the next balloon floating in the water. Using the pool cue, which Stella left for his use, Will retrieves the last clue, which states, “At exactly forty-eight hours from our first date…” (203). He checks his watch to see that only one minute remains until the time of their first date 48 hours ago. Exactly one minute later, he receives a text message from Stella, featuring her in a chef’s hat with the remaining part of the final clue’s message: “our second date begins!” (203). Will rushes to the cafeteria, where he meets Stella at the entrance. Stella leads Will through the cafeteria to a locked room, where his friends Jason and Hope as well as Stella’s friends Camila and Mya surprise him. Poe acts as the chef for the evening.

Stella and Poe share a moment alone as Poe prepares dessert. He reveals that he has reconciled with his ex-boyfriend Michael and that they are planning a trip to Colombia to visit his family. They return to the party and sing “Happy Birthday” to Will. As they celebrate, Barb suddenly enters the room and interrupts their party. She escorts Stella, Will, and Poe back to their ward, and chastises them for their recklessness. She informs Will that he will be transferred in the morning.

Back in her room, Stella watches Will as he sleeps over video chat when she hears an alert for a Code Blue in room 310, Poe’s room. Stella overhears Barb yelling, “He’s not breathing! There’s no pulse. We have to move fast” (214). Stella attempts to rush into Poe’s room, but Barb orders the door closed before she can. Frustrated that he cannot comfort her, Will stands behind Stella. Dr. Hamid hurries into Poe’s room, and Stella sees that “they’re taking everything off him. The wires. The intubation tubes” (216). Overcome, Stella escapes to her room, realizing that she’ll never see Poe again. Will reaches out to hug Stella without thinking, and Stella pushes him away. Will flees while a distraught Stella destroys her hospital room.

Stella drifts in and out of sleep, ignoring the ringing of her cellphone as she asks herself, “What’s the point? I’ll die or they will, and this cycle of people dying and people grieving will just continue” (219). Eventually, she wanders past Poe’s room, where she observes Michael grieving as he collects Poe’s belongings. Stella heads to the children’s playroom, thinking this is “where it all began. Where I played with Poe and Abby, the three of us having no idea we had such little life ahead of us” (221). Overcome with emotion, Stella returns to her room and contemplates the futility of strict adherence to her routine. She proclaims, “Whether I die now or ten years from now, my parents will be crushed. And all I’ll have done is make myself miserable focusing on a few extra breaths” (222). Stella heads to the hospital roof.

On the roof, Stella moves “to the edge to see the world below” (222). She inhales deeply then screams until her voice “gives way to coughs. But it feels good” (222). From the roof, she sees into Will’s room and notices him exiting with his duffel bag. She views the distant holiday lights “twinkling like stars, calling out,” and resolves, “This time I respond” (223).

Will waits for Barb to take him to isolation as she commanded last night. He replays his foolish, dangerous embrace of Stella as he packs his belongings. Anxious, Will decides to leave on his own and call an Uber. He waits for his Uber by the glass doors in the lobby. The doors fog up, and he watches as someone draws a heart on the glass. It’s Stella, who beckons Will to come outside, where she manically asks Will to go with her to see the holiday lights. Will, nervous about the two-mile trek to the lights, notes that Stella’s eyes appear “resolute, and full of something I’ve never seen there before, something wild. She’s going with or without me” (226). They walk.

As they move closer to the lights, Will and Stella discuss where they would love to travel in the future. They throw snowballs at each other until they’re both short of breath. At the top of a hill, Stella and Will make snow angels and look at the stars. Stella eventually retrieves from her coat “a stuffed panda, lying limply against her chest” (230). She explains that Abby gave her this bear during her first trip to the hospital. They continue their journey to the lights. Stella struggles to keep up, so they decide to take a break by a frozen pond. Stella steps onto the ice, despite Will’s initial misgivings. Soon, he takes her hand and ventures onto the ice with her.