Gangsta Granny

Ben resentfully stirs his soup, thinking about how much he hates being at Granny’s house. He dislikes how she often makes him go to bed early, has a broken TV, and has an irritating faulty hearing aid that squeaks. Ben also dislikes the fact that Granny encourages him to read, something he hates doing. Nonetheless, her taste in books intrigues him, as she is always reading crime novels. He wonders why she is so interested in crime and gangs since her own life is so different from a criminal’s. 

While Granny is in the kitchen checking on the cabbage pie, Ben secretly pours his soup into a plant pot. When she returns, he politely thanks her for the soup and tells her he is finished, only to be served another bowlful of terrible soup.

Ben visits the neighborhood corner store, where the owner Raj often puts aside the magazine Plumbing Weekly for him. Ben’s dream is to become a plumber; he finds plumbing fascinating and loves to read about it in the magazine. His parents are disappointed with Ben’s ambition, as they want Ben to train in ballroom dancing so he can become a famous professional ballroom dancer.

Ben and Raj look for the magazine and finally find it hidden in the freezer. Ben admits to Raj that he dreads going back to Granny’s that evening, and Raj tells him to keep an open mind about Granny and ask her more about herself.

Ben suffers through another evening with Granny, during which they play Scrabble and eat cabbage-flavored soup, pie, and even dessert. He protests when Granny tells Ben to go to bed, as it is so early, but eventually agrees. While Ben pretends to brush his teeth, he fantasizes about being a teenager and the independence it will bring. 

When Ben gets in bed, Granny comes to kiss him goodnight. He pretends to sleep to avoid hearing a bedtime story, and she kisses his cheek and leaves. Ben decides that he must escape.

Ben waits to hear Granny snoring and then sneaks into the hallway to call his parents, who are at a live ballroom dancing show. Ben begs his parents to come and pick him up, but they say they must see the whole show. Ben complains that Granny is boring, and he hates being at her house. When he hangs up, he notices that Granny’s snoring has stopped, and he hopes that she didn’t hear him talking about her.

At breakfast the next morning, Granny is sad and quiet. Ben worries that she heard him, and he feels guilty when Mum picks him up quickly and speeds off without talking to Granny.

The following Friday night, Ben finds some comfort in his plumbing magazine while he endures the usual routine at Granny’s house. Granny feeds him undercooked eggs and burnt toast, which Ben hides or throws out the window. Still hungry, Ben snoops in the kitchen for the cookie tin. When he opens it, he is shocked to find precious jewelry instead of the usual chocolate cookies. He believes that the jewelry must be worth millions of pounds. When Ben hears Granny coming, he quickly puts the tin away and sits back at the table.

Intrigued by Granny’s secret stash of jewels, Ben asks his parents to drop him off at her house. The request shocks his parents, but Ben insists that he just wants to spend some time with her. His Dad agrees to call her and see if she is home. The family laughs about how Granny never goes out; her last outing was to the garden center to help Dad carry some bags of manure. 

Ben obsesses over Granny’s jewels, wondering where she got them and how much money she could get for them. When Dad tells him that she is busy and cannot host him, Ben is even more intrigued.

While Ben’s parents watch a dancing show on TV, Ben sneaks out of his bedroom window and cycles five miles to Granny’s house, determined to learn more about her secrets. He knows that he needs to be back at dinnertime to avoid getting in trouble, so he rushes to Granny’s. When he arrives, Ben hides in the bushes outside Granny’s house. He sees a figure dressed in all black come out of the front door, and he knows it must be Granny.

Ben follows Granny as she uses her motorized wheelchair to drive into town, where all the shops are closed for the night. Ben is shocked when Granny stops outside the jewelry store and gets out a tin of cabbage soup, ready to break the window. When Ben shouts at her, a surprised Granny asks him what he is doing there.

Granny scolds Ben for following her, and the two race away from the shop on her motorized chair. Granny brings Ben back to her house and admits that she is a wanted jewel thief known as “The Black Cat.” She reveals that no one has ever caught her or even known about her crimes, including her late husband. Granny makes Ben swear that he won’t tell anybody, including his parents. However, Ben’s condition is that Granny has to tell him the whole truth.