Good for a Girl: A Woman Running in a Man's World

Fleshman’s memoir continues to be a story about both the gains and pitfalls of The Power of Resilience and Hard Work. She reflects that in the lead-up to the 2008 Olympic Trials, “[she] lived like the running monk everyone told [her] to be, and it killed the joy of everything” (158). As dictated by industry standards, she believed that to be worthy as an athlete, she needed to be selected for the Olympic team. Therefore, when she didn’t achieve her goal of qualifying, she was devastated. Her failure to make the team is foreshadowed in the lead-up to the race, such as in the Nike poster declaring that “broken dreams hurt more than broken bones” (144). Fleshman’s intuition that she would fail, and her immense fear of this, is illustrated when she describes being worried that these posters, as well as the T-shirts with the photo of her face on them, would jinx her. From her depression and devastation, Fleshman learned the importance of diversifying her interests and passions in life and vowed to “find out how fast [she could] be without abandoning [her]self” (153).

Additionally, Fleshman realized that running is soulless and ultimately dissatisfying if she loses her connection to the Empowerment and Joy From Running. Her renewed positive relationship with running is characterized in her training in France, which centered on joy, positivity, and mindful engagement with her surroundings: “I went for solo runs in the foothills, my feet dancing around rivulets of runoff from the rain,” “stopping to feel the crepe-paper petals of the giant red poppies” (158). Her centering of joy in her athletic pursuits at this point in her journey can be clearly contrasted with her earlier fear-driven Olympic Trials run: “I even poked my elbows out at one point to deter her, a blatant violation […] I was racing like someone desperate, a version of myself I’d never seen before, and I didn’t like it” (146). By decentering success, and recentering joy and authenticity, Fleshman was able to reconnect to a positive relationship with running and with herself.

Fleshman also expanded her world beyond running and enjoyed personal expansion and growth as an entrepreneur and a blogger. Through building businesses and communities, Fleshman felt renewed conviction about her value as a person and as an athlete, even though she didn’t have an Olympic medal to show for it. This diversification made her more resilient within the world of running: With an “identity outside of athletic performance,” Fleshman was “better able to handle the times sport wasn’t going well” (162). Her growing confidence and resilience were illustrated when she placed a disappointing eight at the 2011 USA National Championships but “decided to be proud of [her]self” (158). She came to terms with the reality that “sometimes comebacks don’t line up with the industry timeline” (158). Fleshman’s stoicism here conveys her growth, which was mirrored when she insisted on competing in the 2012 Olympic Trials and was proud of herself even when she came in last in the final. This reaction can be contrasted with her devastation over her unsuccessful 2008 bid, further characterizing her growth.

Fleshman’s newfound confidence and assurance in her own value increasingly led to her dissatisfaction with Nike, as illustrated in her tense salary discussion with Nike leadership: “The salary was insulting, and I said so” (175). The evidence of her personal success allowed her to debunk Nike’s narrow definition of success; although Fleshman had a million-dollar business and developed her own brands and following, “by [Nike’s] definition, [she] was deemed a failed marketing asset” (163). By detailing the ruthless cut of her contract due to her injury, Fleshman critiques the way that “contracts penalize[] the rocky road inherent to life, especially the one commonly traveled by women” (163), highlighting again Male Physiology and Sexism Shaping Norms in Women’s Sports. Nike is characterized as soulless in the insultingly low contract salary offered to Fleshman, as well as in their conception of pregnancy as a severe injury that justified a year-long, non-negotiable salary suspension. Fleshman’s decision to leave Nike and to partner with the company Oiselle, detailed in later chapters, is foreshadowed in her anger and dissatisfaction described in these chapters, which is directly related to her growth and maturation into a well-rounded and accomplished person beyond being merely a runner.