How I Learned to Drive

On December 10, 1969, in a hotel room, Li’l Bit tells Peck she is “so pissed off” (49) at him for sending her the packages, that they “scared the holy crap” out of her (49). She compares him to a serial killer for counting down the days. When he says he only wanted to celebrate her birthday, she says it was her eighteenth birthday and that “statutory rape is not in effect when a young woman turns eighteen” (49). When he claims she’s misunderstood, she responds, “I think I understand all too well” (49). She says she “know[s] what you want to do five steps ahead of you doing it. Defensive Driving 101” (49).  

As they talk, Li’l Bit drinks several glasses of the champagne he’s brought and surprises Peck by saying he should have some, too. Peck talks about how he’s missed her, how he’s realized how much he depends on her, and that it’s been hard to reach her. He adds that he hopes she’s been missing him, too. Li’l Bit says she is “confused” and “not doing very well” (51), and that she’s decided she doesn’t want to see him again aside from with family. Peck asks if she’s seeing other men; defensive, Li’l Bit suggests she is but that it is “not really anybody’s business” (51).  

Peck says she’s scared because Mother and Grandmother “have filled your head with all kinds of nonsense about men” (51). He promises it won’t hurt “if the man you go to bed with really loves you” (52) and that he has “loved [her] since the day [he] held [her] in [his] hand” (52). Li’l Bit says she can’t see him again. Peck drinks the rest of his champagne and says he “want[s] the chance” (52) to hold her as they lie on the bed, because “sometimes the body knows things that the mind isn’t listening to” (52). Conflicted, Li’l Bit agrees. 

As they lie together on the bed, Li’l Bit, Male Greek Chorus, and Female Greek Chorus, as Aunt Mary, list the physical attributes and charms of “a Southern Boy” (52). At the mention of his mouth, Li’l Bit leans in to kiss Peck but rises swiftly. Peck asks her if she felt anything, and she lies and says no. Peck retrieves a ring and proposes to her, saying he’ll divorce Mary. Li’l Bit says he has “gone way over the line” (54) and that she intends never to see him again. Peck is devastated and tries not to cry. 

As Peck sits at the bar, drinking, Li’l Bit tells the audience that she never saw him again and that he drank himself to death seven years later after losing “his job, then his wife, and finally his driver’s license” (54). Li’l Bit wishes she could ask him “[w]ho did it to you” (54) and if he was 11. She thinks of him “as a kind of Flying Dutchman” (55) who drives his ’56 Chevy on “the back roads of Carolina—looking for a young girl who, of her own free will, will love him” (55).

In the summer of 1962, Li’l Bit is 11. She is fighting with Female Greek Chorus, as Mother, over whether she will take a seven-hour road trip with Peck. Mother says Peck “pays entirely too much attention to you” (55) and that she doesn’t “like the way [Peck] looks at [Li’l Bit]” (55). Li’l Bit argues that Peck “listens to me when I talk” (55) and “teaches me about things” (55).  

Li’l Bit says that because Mother went “through a bad time with my father” (55), she “think[s] every man is evil” (55); Mother responds that they “haven’t been very lucky with the men in our family” (55). Li’l Bit says that she “deserve[s] a chance at having a father” (55). Mother says she “will feel terrible if something happens” (56), but Li’l Bit assures her that she “can take care of [her]self” (56). Mother relents, telling her she can go but that “if anything happens, I hold you responsible” (56). 

Li’l Bit announces, “On the Back Roads of Carolina: The First Driving Lesson.” Teenage Greek Chorus stands to the side and speaks all of Li’l Bit’s lines. Li’l Bit sits in the front seat of the car with Peck; a stage direction says she “looks at him closely, remembering” (56). Peck asks her if she wants to drive and that he’ll show her how; Li’l Bit, through Teenage Greek Chorus, protests that “it’s against the law at my age” (56). Peck tells her “that’s why you can’t tell anyone I’m letting you do this” (56). He tells her to sit on his lap and he’ll push the pedals while she steers. Li’l Bit sits on his lap and leans against him, closing her eyes.  

Peck tells her where to put her hands on the wheel. Before taking the wheel, Li’l Bit touches his face. As she steers, she asks Peck, “Am I doing it right?” (57). Peck tells her not to let go of the wheel and that he should tell him “whether to go faster or slower” (57). Li’l Bit tells him not to go so fast. 

Peck holds Li’l Bit’s breasts; stage directions indicate that Li’l Bit “relaxes against him, silent, accepting his touch” (57). Meanwhile, Teenage Greek Chorus, as Li’l Bit, asks, “Uncle Peck—what are you doing?” (57). When Peck tells her to “[k]eep driving” (57), Teenage Greek Chorus begs him, “[P]lease don’t do this” (57). Peck tells her, “Just a moment longer” (57) before tensing against her; stage directions indicate he “buries his face in Li’l Bit’s neck, and moans softly” (57). Teenage Greek Chorus says, “This isn’t happening” (57) as she holds back tears. 

Li’l Bit says “[t]hat was the last day I lived in my body” (57), that she “retreated above the neck” and has “lived inside the ‘fire’ in [her] head ever since” (57). She says she will soon be 35 and that she “find[s] [her]self believing in things that a younger self vowed never to believe in. Things like family and forgiveness” (57). She doesn’t participate in any activities in which she “jiggles,” like jogging or dancing, but if other people do, “good for them” (57). 

As she moves toward the car, she says that when she’s driving, she feels as if she’s flying. She says she has a long road trip ahead of her and that the weather is going to be “clear and crisp” (57). She has a full tank of gas and has had the oil and tires checked because “[y]ou’ve got to treat her […] with respect” (58). She checks under the car for children or cats, then gets into the car. She “adjust[s] the most important control on the dashboard—the radio” (58). 

When she turns on the radio, Female Greek Chorus, Male Greek Chorus, and Teenage Greek Chorus repeat influential lines from her past. Li’l Bit relaxes in her seat and checks the mirrors, and a light shines on “the spirit of Uncle Peck, who is sitting in the back seat of the car” (58). Li’l Bit smiles at Peck, and Peck nods at her; a stage direction indicates that “[t]hey are happy to be going for a long drive together” (58). Li’l Bit tells the audience, “And then—I floor it” (58) before the audience hears the sound of a car and the stage goes black.