I Beat the Odds: From Homelessness, to The Blind Side, and Beyond

Nonfiction | Autobiography / Memoir | Adult | Published in 2011

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Summary

Chapter Summaries & Analyses

Prologue-Chapter 3

Chapters 4-9

Chapters 10-15

Chapters 16-21

Key Figures

Themes

Symbols & Motifs

Important Quotes

Essay Topics

Tools

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Discussion Questions

Themes

Personal Responsibility and Taking Initiative

One of the book’s themes is personal responsibility and taking initiative. Despite growing up in circumstances beyond his control, Oher argues that everyone has control of one important thing: themselves. His advice in Chapter 20 underscores this by urging children in difficult situations to focus on their own attitude. In order to find success in life, one must approach situations with the right mindset—like knowing how to separate self-worth from circumstances.

A turning point in Oher’s life came in 1993, when he watched Michael Jordan’s Chicago Bulls win the NBA championship for the third year in a row. This planted the seed of a dream—a dream of using sports to escape his predicament. Later, he figured out how to realize this dream: “[t]here were the kids who wanted to become something, and there were the kids who were working to become something” (91). From then on, Oher became one of the latter.

Oher studied top sports figures to analyze their techniques and use them in his own playing. He also sought friends who were serious about school and mentors who could guide him. Craig Vail and Steve Henderson were friends he valued and stuck close to; he purposely surrounded himself with people like them and avoided childhood friends he knew would be a bad influence. Likewise, after Oher met Steve’s father Tony, he knew he found a mentor, someone he could trust. Tony treated Oher like family, teaching him lessons like dealing with difficult emotions. Oher also learned the importance of responsibility from his time with foster mother Velma Jones and her family. He urges young people to take initiative, writing “I believe you are much more likely to find [great opportunities] when you go out and chase the opportunity down” (109).

The Importance of Mentors

Throughout the book, Oher discusses his mentors from childhood to college. Among these people are social workers, teachers and tutors, coaches, and peers—some of whom were only recognized as mentors later in his life. Oher paints his educational and social development—and his departure from the projects—as milestones that would not have been possible without mentors.

Oher opens the book with a prologue in which he introduces a mentor he used to deem an enemy: Bobbie Spivey. As a child, Oher saw the caseworker as someone trying to break up his family; as an adult, he now knows that she cared deeply for him and his siblings, and tried to do what was best for them. Oher ends the book with Chapter 21, in which he lists many organizations through which one can mentor children in need.

In some cases, Oher’s mentors fit the usual definition of the word. Mentors teach their mentees relevant skills, with mentorship often being an “apprenticeship” in which a novice learns from an experienced person. For example, Miss Sue, Oher’s tutor in high school and college, taught him both subject matter for classes and effective studying. Other mentors were mixes of coach and role model like “Big” Tony Henderson. Tony recruited Oher for the local basketball team in their housing project but taught him much more than just basketball skills. Tony and his son Steve demonstrated a healthy father-son relationship; Oher also learned how to deal with frustration and other negative emotions.

However, Oher’s most important mentors are likely the Tuohys, who became his family. Sean and Leigh Anne Tuohy taught Oher seemingly simple things (often taken for granted) that had a significant impact. Leigh Anne taught Oher etiquette by taking him out to various restaurants, a lesson which helped him meet with prospective coaches and scouts—as he had previously been self-conscious about his lack of social skills. One could say the Tuohys also mentored Oher in parenting, modeling a loving and trusting family.

The Plight of Foster Children and At-Risk Youth

Oher has two reasons for writing his book—the first being to tell his own story and clear up any misconceptions that The Blind Side and other works perpetuated. The second reason is more important to him: “to talk about—and to—the nearly 500,000 children in America whose lives have been so rough” that they are placed in foster care. Chapters 20-21 serve as resources for foster children and those who would help them. Chapter 20 comprises Oher’s advice (based on his own experiences) to children struggling in circumstances like his, while Chapter 21 details organizations that help such children.

Oher also weaves background information and statistics into his memoir. For example, in Chapter 5, he discusses a study by the University of Chicago about why foster children run away from their foster homes. After commenting on the study, he adds information of his own. Because Velma’s family provided a stable home life and education, Oher’s caseworkers were perplexed as to why he kept running away. He explains that it was partly because he knew his situation was temporary. In addition, he didn’t think anyone could love him as much as his biological family; he was willing to give up stability for the feeling of being loved. Oher’s mindset was simple and seemed obvious to him, but the caseworkers didn’t understand. Such examples add nuance to what foster children go through.