Intimacies

True intimacy requires an openness and a knowing that goes beyond desire and physical touch, and throughout the novel, the narrator demonstrates considerable difficulty in achieving this state. Although Adriaan’s wife is alive and well, Gaby’s palpable, haunting presence pervades his apartment and hampers the narrator’s ability to foster intimacy with her partner. Through the narrator’s relationship, the novel further explores the theme of Intimacy and the Search for Authenticity, for as she realizes that she lacks access to Adriaan’s full story, she must come to terms with the fact that she does not truly know him. Seeing Gaby’s photo in the apartment also forces the narrator into an involuntary and indirect sense of intimacy with Adriaan’s estranged wife, which compels her to question the depth of Adriaan’s commitment to Gaby and to herself. Although she yearns for attachment, the narrator keeps herself at a safe emotional distance as a self-preservation strategy. This approach contrasts markedly with the overall ambience of the dinner with Jana and Adriaan, for the event creates an intimacy that the narrator finds uncomfortable, especially when she assumes that Adriaan and Jana have chemistry and must have spent the hour before she arrived flirting. Despite the narrator’s assumptions, however, Jana actually spent the time getting to know Adriaan in order to assess his potential as a worthy partner for her friend. This suggests that Jana feels a closeness to the narrator that the narrator doesn’t know how to reciprocate or is unaware of. In another example of forced intimacy, when Jana reveals the name of the mugging victim, the fact that the narrator now knows both his name and his profession brings her into a more personal relationship with the crime. Instead of seeing the incident as just another random act of violence, she now knows that it is a crime against Anton, the owner of the bookshop. This pattern foreshadows the ways in which she will find herself inadvertently growing closer to the deposed president in the upcoming trial as the task of speaking his words forces her into a more intimate understanding of his crimes.

The juxtaposition of the intimate dinner party with the narrator’s first one-on-one interpretation session highlights the reality that true communication transcends mere words. The narrative also implies the misunderstandings that ensue whenever humans who don’t share the same language must find a way to communicate. Significantly, the narrator’s secret session with the jihadist parallels Amina’s experience as she observes that the act of interpreting creates the same disquieting sense of connection with the accused. This section of the story further examines the theme of Navigating Power Imbalances, especially as the narrator’s proximity to the accused makes her feel small and insufficient. This feeling is compounded by his prideful and dismissive behavior despite her official status as a minister of a powerful institution. His desire to be spoken to in Arabic also throws her off-balance, adding a new layer of complexity as she navigates power structures across cultural boundaries. Ironically, although the Court authorities hold the jihadist in a cell, the narrator senses that he has control of the situation. She experiences a similar disorientation when she examines the Detention Center from the outside and notices how its presence dominates that of the Court building. The paradox suggests that The Hague places more focus on punishment and incarceration than upon arbitration and resolution.

The narrator also struggles with Navigating Power Imbalances in her personal life; for example, when Adriaan reveals that he is leaving to see his wife and children, he seizes full control of the pace of their developing relationship, and his offer to let the narrator use his apartment in the meantime subjects her to an environment that is dominated by his life and interests even in his absence; furthermore, his apartment holds mementos of his wife but none of the narrator herself. In this case, the concept of Home as a Reflection of Identity is invoked in a negative sense, for although the apartment reflects Adriaan’s identity, inhabiting this space robs the narrator of her own sense of identity and self-worth. Although his offer is a gesture born of kindness, it still connotes his desire to control her, as if her presence in his apartment will prevent her from pursuing other romantic endeavors. Ultimately, she ends up feeling like a lonely interloper in an apartment filled with Gaby’s overwhelming presence. Unlike Jana, who owns her home, the narrator finds no peace or contentment in a place owned by a man whose future relationship with her is uncertain at best.

The situation is further complicated by the unspoken undertones of Adriaan’s sudden trip. Not only is he physically leaving her for an undetermined amount of time, but he is also shifting his emotional focus back to his family: a decision that could force the end of their relationship. His decision to leave confirms her anxieties, and although her internal monologue reveals her fears, she refrains from openly expressing her vulnerability. The narrator lives in a constant state of detachment due to her uncertainty, but her experiences nonetheless help her to build emotional resilience, for instead of looking to others for support, she depends on herself for emotional fulfillment. The narrator’s unconventional relationship therefore implies that intimacy can coexist with a certain level of emotional detachment and unspoken understanding. Given that she feels a distinct lack of agency in the relationship, the only way she can tip the power back in her favor is to withhold parts of herself from him and disguise her disappointment in his decision to leave. Though living in Adriaan’s neighborhood gives her another way to see the city and provides her with a new appreciation for its uniqueness, she still struggles to determine where she belongs. This search is not merely about finding a physical place; it is also about finding a space where she feels a sense of belonging and can connect more meaningfully with herself and with those around her.