Long Way Down

The police question people, but there are no answers. Will explains, “gun shots make everybody / deaf and blind” (19). No one wants to be associated with the murder by providing information. Will’s mother sobs, grieving her son. Will watches as his brother’s body is left on the street; finally, yellow tape is put up to indicate the crime scene. Soon, all that is left is the white chalk outline of the place where Shawn fell. Will goes home and listens to his mother sob and drink. He does not cry, “Because crying / is against / The Rules” (30). Will wants the moon to rise and make him feel better, but it doesn’t appear. He says, “I’ll tell you one thing, / the moon is lucky it’s not down here / where nothing / is ever / new” (21).

The Rules are no crying, no snitching, and revenge. Will explains, “they weren’t meant to be broken / they were meant for the broken / to follow” (35). He also mourns the loss of his brother and the newfound discomfort of their shared room. He remembers Shawn’s favorite rappers, Tupac and Biggie, and looks at his cologne on the dresser. He remembers the headlocks Shawn used to put him in to tease him, which felt “like a hug” (45). Will is interested in anagrams and has one on his wall: “SCARE = CARES” (36).

Will is drawn to his brother’s middle drawer, where he finds a gun. He describes it as “Heavier than / I expected / Like holding / a newborn” (59). He talks about violence in their neighborhood and about Shawn’s old friend Riggs, who Will is sure shot Shawn. Riggs recently moved and became part of a gang to prove he wasn’t all talk. Shawn went to get special soap for his mother from a corner store in Riggs’s new hood, potentially making him a target. He was holding the bag of soap when he died. Will plans to get revenge on Riggs. He wakes up the next morning, puts the gun in his pants, and tiptoes past his mother, who is sleeping with her head slumped on the kitchen table. He pushes the elevator button and goes “down / down / down down down” (70).