Lunch Money

At school, Greg and Maura are always squabbling and trying to outdo each other. By sixth grade, glaring at Maura’s copycat comic booklet, Greg is fed up: “I hate her guts!” (44)

During the summer when he was seven, Greg ran a lemonade stand. The next summer, Maura sets up her own stand, undercuts Greg’s price, and draws away some of his customers. Greg puts his lemonade on a wagon and delivers lemonade directly to his patrons; an hour later, Maura does the same thing.

Greg accuses her of being a copycat and having no brain of her own. Maura stops selling lemonade, but a week later she is going door to door, selling something. Greg sneaks up and watches: She is selling handmade potholders at two dollars each. Mrs Jansen admires them and buys six.

Greg hurries home and does some arithmetic: Maura might have already earned $50. The doorbell rings, and Greg answers it: It is Maura, who disdainfully asks to speak to his mom. Greg taunts her in a way that makes her realize he was spying on her at Mrs Jansen’s, then slams the door. She rings again; he answers, then turns and shouts, “Mom, there’s . . . something at the door. It’s for you” (53).

His mom admires the few potholders left and asks the price. Maura hesitates, then says each is three dollars. Greg realizes she is running price tests. He says they were two dollars just a while ago, but Maura insists the last few are the best ones. Greg’s mom buys all four.

Beaming in victory, Maura pulls out a quarter and asks for a cup of lemonade. Furious, Greg whirls and stomps off to his bedroom. He realizes that she did well: She dressed nicely, placed her wares in a nice, cloth-covered basket, and stood up to him about the three-dollar price. She does have a brain.

Maura’s copycat comic is the last straw: “It was time for a showdown” (56).

In the otherwise noisy world of Ashworth Intermediate School sits room 27, presided over by math teacher Mr. Zenotopoulous. “Mr. Z” lives and breathes math. He believes it orders the cosmos and explains the beauty of great art. Mr. Z’s life is arranged around numbers: He is up everyday at 6:15 a,m., wears short sleeves if the weather forecast is for 70 degrees or higher, and calculates students’ grades to three decimal places.

He enjoys math puns: “What did the triangle say to the circle? Your life seems so pointless” (61). Otherwise, he loves the orderliness of math.

Unicorn comic in hand, Greg strides up to Maura and accuses her of stealing his ideas yet again. They argue while Mr. Z tries in vain to calm them. Greg begins to tear pages from the unicorn comic; Maura tries to grab it but accidentally slugs Greg in the nose. He cries, “OWWW!” as his nose bleeds. Mr. Z hates the sight of blood and retreats.

Stricken, Maura says she is sorry. Mr. Z, looking faint, asks her to escort Greg to the nurse’s office. She grabs some tissues, gives them to Greg, and tries to guide him out, but he pulls his elbow away and insists on walking himself.

The nurse, Mrs. Emmet, cleans Greg’s nose and applies a cold pack to it. She asks what happened; Greg wants to blame Maura but instead says it was just an accident. Maura feels grateful. Mrs. Emmet finds that Greg’s nose is not broken, but he will have a big bruise.

Maura returns to class while Greg lies back and waits for the bleeding to stop. He remembers her in class saying he was “a greedy little money-grubber, just like always!” (68) His brothers have said similar things. Greg doesn’t understand why people think he is so selfish, if money is something everyone wants.

Greg realizes he is still clutching the unicorn comic. He reads through it: The comic is about a unicorn who is lost and scared but sets her fear aside to rescue a kidnapped princess and bring her home to her mother, the queen. The queen has her best knights guide the unicorn to her own home.

The comic is beautifully illustrated, but it is handmade. Maura does not know how to mass-produce them, and therefore she is no threat to Greg’s comic-book business. He imagines himself an international publisher of comics, driving in limos. An alarm goes off, and he sits up, blinking. He had fallen asleep.

Maura returns with his backpack. Greg wants to avoid her, but she walks beside him and says he has to meet with her and Mr. Z after school. She hands him a quarter because she bought one of his comics: “It’s good.” She adds, “But—” The bell rings, and she hurries off.

Greg and Maura arrive at Mr. Z’s class. The teacher is late. Maura says she likes Greg’s comic, but it is aimed at boys, and the girls won’t buy it. Mr. Z arrives and listens to each of them, then looks at their comic books. He says Maura’s book copies only Greg’s general concept, which is her right, and her story is completely different.

Greg is still irate, and his nose starts to bleed again. Mr. Z again grows woozy at the sight of the blood. Cruelly, Greg leans toward the teacher, his nose dripping blood. Mr. Z nearly throws up. He lies on the floor, and Maura has Greg sit on the floor and put pressure on his nose while she gets the nurse. Greg, tired, lies down near Mr. Z.

Feeling remorse and fearful of what Mr. Z will do to him, Greg apologizes to his teacher for acting mean. Mr. Z admits that his reaction to blood is irrational; he wanted to become a doctor until he discovered his weird reaction. Greg admits to a fear of snakes.

Mr. Z accepts Greg’s apology, then asks if Greg can do the same for Maura. Greg says he is not as worried about Maura’s competition because her books are hand-drawn, while he is mass-producing his. Mr. Z admires Greg’s initiative. He suggests that Greg and Maura are very similar, but both are too stubborn to let themselves become friends.

Principal Davenport arrives, filling in for the nurse who left for the day. Davenport has Mr. Z raise his feet onto a chair, then kids him about his fear of—she spells it—“b-l-o-o-d.” She says Maura’s mom will drive the two kids home. She has Maura bring wet paper towels from the restroom, but the first towels are not enough to clean up all the blood.

Greg realizes that both he and Mr. Z will be teased tomorrow—Mr. Z by the staff, and Greg by boys because he got slugged by a girl. The principal returns to her office, and Maura walks to the school entrance to wait for her mom. Greg asks Mr. Z if he regretted not becoming a rich doctor. Mr. Z says his brother is a doctor but isn’t rich because he lives in a low-income part of Idaho. Greg asks why the brother doesn’t move to a wealthy place; Mr. Z says his brother likes the work and doesn’t need much money.

Greg says he wants millions to buy things, go places, and do whatever he wants. Mr. Z asks for an example. Greg says he would buy a house with ten bedrooms, 15 bathrooms, two pools, a home theater, and a pool table. Mr. Z says, “Interesting” but adds that it is hard to use more than one bathroom at a time. 

Also, Mr. Z says when Maura copies Greg, she is expressing interest in him. This embarrasses Greg; he is saved by Principal Davenport calling from the hall, asking if he needs help. He says he is fine, jumps up, and collects his things. Mr. Z asks for a comic book; Greg says he is welcome to the one he already looked at, free of charge.

Greg says he is sorry for bleeding on Mr. Z’s classroom; the teacher thanks him and reminds him that he still owes an apology to Maura. Privately, Greg doubts that will happen.

Mrs. Shaw drives Greg and Maura home, talking the whole time about the various accidents that caused family members to bleed. At home, Greg’s bruised nose spreads to his eye, and his brothers tease him mercilessly about being slugged by a girl.

Greg gets a call from Maura, who tells him about the math homework assigned while he was at the nurse’s office. Greg thanks her rather formally, feeling uneasy because this is the longest phone conversation he has ever had with a girl.

She says she re-read his comic and realizes hers is “awful” in comparison. She admits she doesn’t know a lot about comics. Greg decides she is trying to steal more ideas; politely, he gets off the phone.

Using the boys’ room mirror the next morning, Greg notices with surprise that his black eye is red, purple, and brown but not black. He worries about being teased but stuffs it down and heads for social studies class, which he has with Maura.

His teacher Mrs. Sanborn asks rapid-fire questions to test the students’ understanding of their history homework on the Fertile Crescent. Greg answers a question correctly, then a note lands on his desk. It is from Maura: “I have to show you something after class. — Maura p.s. guess what? I love comics!” (106) She underlines “love” five times. Greg almost misses Mrs. Sanborn’s next question to him about cuneiform clay tablets.

Greg worries that Maura actually wants to be friends. This feels very uncomfortable; he would much rather think of her as an enemy. He tries to concentrate on his schoolwork. He then thinks about his plans for more comic books, but his mind keeps turning back to Maura’s sudden interest in him. 

Between classes, Maura corners Greg and shows him a book she got, called Understanding Comics. Already, she has read the whole thing. She shows him some new sketches she drew of her unicorn story: There is much more detail, and the ten panels now tell a riveting tale of the unicorn knocking over a tree that the princess can shimmy down to escape the ogre’s tower and ride away on the unicorn.

Greg realizes Maura is fast becoming very good at making comics. He worries she will out-compete him in sales. He is about to tell her the work is bad and she should give up when Eileen Ripley and Brittany Paxton walk up and tease them about suddenly being “lovey-dovey.” Angrily, he denies any such interest, shoves the sketches back at Maura, saying, “Get away from me!” (114). He stalks off to the gym.

Playing a quick game of one-on-one basketball with another student, Greg thinks about Maura’s hurt look. It haunts him.

During language arts class, Greg gets called to the principal’s office. There, he finds Maura and Mr. Z waiting. Whispering, Maura blames him for her first-ever call to the office and says they might be suspended for fighting. Greg says it was an accident and they will merely get scolded.

In Davenport’s office, the principal accepts the explanation that Greg’s bloody nose was an accident, but she warns them that fighting and angry arguments are forbidden. She orders Greg and Maura to avoid each other. She also changes their room assignments so they no longer share any classes.

The two kids are very relieved until Mrs. Davenport also forbids them to sell their comic booklets at school. Greg says he is not selling toys, like she asked, but she retorts that comics are basically toys. She shows them more comics, crudely drawn things by other students, and says kids are learning it is okay to make “nasty, violent stuff like this, and then bring it to school, and sell it” (122). Greg says his are based on history, but Davenport is uninterested. She forbids him from selling anything at school. They are all dismissed.

Maura takes off for class; Greg walks with Mr. Z. He asks the teacher if his comic is bad. Mr. Z says he likes Greg’s work, but he agrees with the principal that selling things at school is inappropriate.

Greg’s plans lie in ruins. He might still be able to sell his comics outside school, but that will be much harder. “It felt like another punch in the nose” (125). 

At lunch, Greg thinks again about Maura’s new enthusiasm for comics and the hurt look she got when he pushed her drawings back at her. As she gets in line to return her tray, he arranges to stand behind her. He starts to tell her that he did not mean to be rude about her drawings, but she interrupts and accuses him of being stupidly afraid of two girls’ opinions of them.

Greg is about to fire back, but instead he pauses and admits that she is right. Surprised, she thanks him. They walk toward the dessert table. He says that her new work is very good, and that she shows strong skill at timing the panels to tell a story. Maura’s cheeks flush; she stifles a smile. He says she didn’t get the sizes right in a few of the panels, but otherwise her work looks “incredible.”

Greg can see how much his words mean to her. Suddenly, he feels responsible for her: “It was an entirely new feeling” (132). He offers to teach her how to produce more comics and then publish them under his Chunky Comics label. She would get 40 percent of the sales revenue from her work.

Maura answers that she wants 75 percent and full creative control of her comics. Irritated, Greg counters with 50 percent, but she sticks with her demand. He nearly snaps at her but remembers that they are probably not going to sell many books, if any, so he accepts, on the condition she buy him an ice cream sandwich. She buys two and slaps one into his hand, saying, “Deal.”

They return to their separate tables. The loudspeaker comes on, and Principal Davenport announces that the recent appearance of student-made comic books is forbidden at school.

Greg decides his comic-book business is dead, but he doesn’t feel bad and is unsure why. Meanwhile, Maura thinks their work together is just beginning: “And Maura couldn’t wait to get started” (138).