Men Have Called Her Crazy

Tendler began making more lampshades and posting them online. She began selling them, not for much money but for the satisfaction of making them. She also adopted Petunia. Tendler knew that French bulldogs often have health problems, but she thought since Petunia came from a reputable breeder, she would be safe. Petunia, however, had all of the problems associated with the breed. Regardless, Tendler loved Petunia deeply, though she often thought about Petunia’s mortality. Petunia is a loving and mischievous dog. Petunia showed signs of “resource guarding” anything that fell on the floor as hers, and this required Tendler to perform an intricate ritual to retrieve the item. Tendler once hired an animal communicator to help her understand what Petunia wanted to communicate with her. Tendler put Petunia near the phone and let the animal communicator read Petunia’s messages to Tendler, mostly communicating that Petunia loved Tendler and wanted to come with Tendler wherever she went. Petunia became Tendler’s constant companion as she continued her artistic practice, and Tendler hoped that if Petunia remained beneath her desk while she worked on sewing her fingers raw, making lampshades, she could keep Petunia safe.

At the hospital, Tendler has a Zoom meeting with Dr. Karr to officially end their therapist-patient relationship. Dr. Karr starts kind, but she begins to make disparaging comments about Tendler’s supposed abilities to manipulate the male providers on her care team. Enraged, Tendler stiffly ends the call before she says something hurtful to Dr. Karr. She tells Dr. Philips and Beth about her encounter with Dr. Karr, both of whom reassure her that she is not a malicious or manipulative person. Tendler feels better, though she wonders about Dr. Philips’s ability to assess her as a female patient outside of the lens of his male experience. Tendler returns to Dalby and says goodbye to Shawn. Tendler’s mother then arrives with Petunia, who is thrilled to see Tendler. Tendler thanks everyone at the facility before taking Petunia in her car and driving away while listening to “Extraordinary Machine” by Fiona Apple.

Tendler waits outside Petunia’s veterinary clinic, as they don’t allow anyone in due to COVID-19 precautions. The vet tech returns Petunia after an hour and gives Tendler instructions on how to care for her ear infection, a condition Petunia often develops. Tendler takes Petunia home and experiences her house for the first time since her hospitalization. Her mother filled her fridge and freezer with food, which Tendler gratefully eats. She lights the fireplace and some candles to create ambiance, a beauty that both she and Petunia appreciate.

Tendler logs onto Zoom for her first outpatient DBT group session. Shawn is in her group, which excites her. She texts Shawn to say hi as they begin their DBT exercises. One member of the group, Eric, frequently complains about his ex-wife and uses anti-feminist terms to describe her. He also makes jabs at Tendler. This irritates Tendler, who brings it up to Beth. She tells Tendler perhaps it is an opportunity to practice her DBT skills. Tendler and Petunia enjoy a snow day, and Tendler continues to treat Petunia’s ear infection. When Tendler logs onto the next DBT group, Eric says he is leaving the group to focus on regaining custody of his child, which Tendler finds somewhat sympathetic. He leaves his phone number for the group in case anyone wants to reach out, but Tendler does not write it down.

During a date with a man named Reece, Tendler becomes incandescent with anger after he claims his friends called Tendler “crazy,” “soulless,” and “godless” for wanting to have female children over male children. Tendler reflects on her self-proclaimed hatred for men, stemming from their argumentative behavior that quickly turns into claims of being attacked when women present an alternate point of view. Tendler finds this behavior reprehensible and sees it in Reece during their argument about Tendler’s thoughts on childrearing and the pervasive nature of patriarchal ideas and misogyny that society pushes into young men, regardless of their backgrounds. Angry, Tendler slaps more than enough money on the table to pay for the meal and leaves. She sits in her car until she sees Reece leave, and then she reenters for a to-go coffee for her drive home.

Reece is the first man Tendler dates nine months after she leaves the hospital. She downloaded several dating apps to survey the romantic scene after her divorce. She finds many of the men off-putting or strange, but Reece is the first man with which she genuinely connects. Reece also has been to inpatient treatment in the past, so he has understanding and empathy for Tendler. She and Reece’s first date goes well until they return to his apartment. They make out, and Tendler makes a joke about mansplaining to echo something Reece joked about earlier. This offends Reece, which throws Tendler off. The date ends on a lighter note.



Their second date takes place in LA when Reece flies out to see Tendler. They have a brief idyllic time when Reece makes Tendler feel desired and beautiful, but things take a turn when Reece and Tendler argue over their political ideologies, with Reece often referring to Tendler’s belief as misandrist. Reece also criticizes Tendler’s master’s thesis and her photography. After the date Tendler walks out of, Tendler calls her friend Carmel, who validates her feelings. Reece apologizes and admits that he lied and his friends did not call her “soulless” and “godless.” They continue to date until Tendler shows Reece a documentary on Joan Didion, and he picks a fight about Didion by calling her anti-feminist. Tendler prods him into admitting he no longer wants to date her, and they break up. Tendler admits she thought she could change him, but she could not.