63 pages • 2 hours read
Anna Marie TendlerMen Have Called Her Crazy
Nonfiction | Biography | Adult | Published in 2024A modern alternative to SparkNotes and CliffsNotes, SuperSummary offers high-quality Study Guides with detailed chapter summaries and analysis of major themes, characters, and more.
Index of Terms
Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT)
Content Warning: This section of the guide discusses mental illness, gender discrimination, and emotional abuse.
Dialectical Behavior Therapy, or DBT, is an evidence-based approach to psychotherapy that is used primarily to treat personality disorders and interpersonal conflicts. DBT rose to prominence after providers realized that Cognitive Behavior Therapy, or CBT, failed to help patients with repeated suicidal ideation. According to evidence, DBT can help people who live with mood disorders, suicidal ideation, self-harm, and substance abuse disorders. Dr. Marsha Linehan, a researcher at the University of Washington, invented DBT with the belief that to live fulfilled lives, people must learn to accept things the way they are while also realizing change is necessary for growth and happiness. DBT has four modules: mindfulness, distress tolerance, emotional regulation, and interpersonal effectiveness.
Tendler participates in DBT before and after her time in inpatient care. She finds DBT helpful after her time in Dalby. Upon reflection on her time in DBT, she writes, “Through DBT I gradually learned how to substitute constructive behaviors for destructive ones. I noticed that even in my most emotional moments, taking photographs never failed to intercept my worst thoughts and change my brain’s direction” (232). Tendler takes the tools she gained from DBT to help divert her negative thoughts and feelings and turn them into art, like “rooms in the first house” and Men Have Called Her Crazy.
Misandry
Misandry is a term that refers to the hatred, contempt for, or prejudice against men. As a concept, misandry does not appear in the text until Tendler begins her relationship with Reece. When Reece accuses Tendler of having misandrist beliefs, she tells him, “It’s like claiming ‘reverse racism.’ It doesn’t exist […] I feel strongly that if you spoke with many women in their thirties about this, you would find an echoing of my sentiments” (230). Tendler believes that misandry does not exist, a belief with which many feminist thinkers agree. Some refer to the belief that feminists hold misandrist beliefs, “the misandry myth” (Wardell, Amber. “Debunking the Myth of the Man-Hating Feminist.” Psychology Today, 2024). When Tendler tries to explain her feelings, she realizes Reece believes that misandry is real, so she again says, “I’m telling you that I have complicated feelings about men, and you are telling me it’s misandry” (231). This point illustrates Tendler’s greater argument throughout the text: men have difficulty understanding or taking seriously women’s thoughts and feelings outside the context of their male gender.
Misogyny
Misogyny is a term that refers to the hatred, contempt for, or prejudice against women. Misogyny works to keep women at a lower social status than men and enforces patriarchy, a social system in which men hold positions of authority and power while actively excluding women. Misogyny is an important concept in Tendler’s work, as she examines the ways misogyny and patriarchy interact to suppress women’s rights. In her conversation with Reece, for example, Tendler questions his views about misogyny: “Plenty of nice and kind men have deeply misogynistic points of view […] you think just being nice and kind solves the problem of gender inequality? It isn’t a matter of thinking for yourself. We live in a world steeped in misogyny” (231). Reece believes that because not every man hates women, misogyny is not prevalent. Tendler tries to teach him that the world is based on patriarchal values, which furthers misogyny’s pervasiveness in society. Individual nice men cannot fix a system that is built upon the systemic subjugation of women.
Tendler also finds Dr. Samuels’s assessment of her misogynistic, as it fails to understand the root of her anger and makes her sound irrational and hysterical. Tendler notes: “These statements lack any contextualization that my anger is largely directed at myself, or at larger social structures I find personally oppressive—misogyny, patriarchy, sexism. This makes it sound like I was freaking out and screaming at everyone” (288). Tendler feels hurt that the doctor she placed her trust in would be so ignorant of the issues that affect her everyday life; she is even more hurt that he would characterize her as “explosive” for feeling the normal emotion of anger.
Strain Trauma
Strain trauma, as defined by Dr. Samuels, “happens over long periods of time, when a person is in an environment that consistently puts them in a state of anxious arousal,” as opposed to shock trauma, which “causes flashbacks, disturbing dreams, violent outbursts, the behavior we commonly associate with severe PTSD” (93). Dr. Samuels believes Tendler experienced strain trauma throughout her childhood and adolescence. He explains: “Your mother was emotionally volatile. She had rage issues, and it seems she had trouble attuning to your needs because they were so different from her own. You didn’t know what might set her off or what might get you in trouble. You couldn’t trust that emotionally you would get what you needed when you needed it” (93). This trauma affected Tendler as a child and continues to affect her as an adult, as her anxiety and depression continue to play a large role in her life.
