Ordinary Hazards

Nonfiction | Memoir in Verse | YA | Published in 2019

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Summary

Background

Chapter Summaries & Analyses

Prologue-Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4-Epilogue

Key Figures

Themes

Symbols & Motifs

Important Quotes

Essay Topics

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Themes

The Impact of Trauma on Memory

Content Warning: This book contains references to and descriptions of child abuse, substance use and addiction, sexual assault, and trauma. The book also contains outdated and stigmatizing language and descriptions surrounding mental health conditions. Additionally, this study guide quotes and obscures the author’s use of the n-word.

Ordinary Hazards is a memoir about how Nikki Grimes survives the difficult experiences in her early years and comes out the other side. Being a memoir, its contents rely heavily on the author’s memory; however, the trauma from the experiences Grimes recounts in the book have, in turn, affected her ability to remember events and details accurately. Grimes weaves this experience into the narrative of the book and thematically explores the interaction between memory and trauma.

Throughout the book, the difficult years of Nikki’s life are accompanied by Grimes’s connections about how different experiences have impacted her memory. In the earliest years of her life, Nikki sees her parents separate, and Carol and her are negatively impacted by this and the resultant addictions, absences, and neglect. Without parental figures actively involved in and aware of their lives, Nikki experiences abuse from multiple quarters: babysitters; foster homes; Clark. As she becomes more aware of her mother’s specific mental health condition, Bernice’s mental health is yet another traumatizing experience for Nikki. Nikki accordingly reflects on how the chaos of her life has led her to misremember or entirely forget the chronology of events and specific details.

Grimes as the author weaves this memory loss into the narrative to further emphasize the impact of her childhood trauma. In the Author’s Note, Grimes acknowledges the difficulty of writing a memoir about trauma when the trauma has erased memories (317). She attempts to create some sense of chronology by interspersing chapters with entries from her notebook as interludes. However, Grimes concedes that these, too, are pulled from faulty memory and enhanced by imagination, as the original notebooks were thrown away by Bernice (317). Thus, besides the notebook entries, there is a second kind of interlude: a series of four titled “The Mystery of Memory.” These interludes serve as a reminder that the subjectivity of Grimes’s narrative is caused by how recollections of events have been impacted by the events themselves.

These interludes also trace when Nikki begins to heal from some of the trauma she has experienced. Besides Nikki’s explicit acknowledgement of the joy, connectedness, and sense of purpose she feels in the later years, her memory, too, sports signs of healing. In Book Four, Nikki discusses memory, and specific memories, in the interludes. She describes how the taste of pineapple instantly calls up the scene of her grandmother’s kitchen, or how watching ice-dancers on TV suddenly causes a happy memory of ice skating with Debra to resurface.

Nikki’s life was initially filled with traumatic experiences that erased details and incidents from memory. Over time, however, she accrues enough positive experiences that ordinary objects bring forth a slew of happy memories. This shows how Nikki grows more inured against the effects of trauma: Her improved memory and active reminiscing is a positive sign. In this way, Grimes weaves recollections of events (and the absence of them) into her narrative to explore how her traumatic experiences have impacted her memories.

The Role of Emotional Support in Building Resilience

By Nikki’s own assertion, Ordinary Hazards is a memoir about darkness, but also about light. The book touches upon a number of difficult experiences that she went through, but there are moments of hope present throughout even the toughest parts of her life. Nikki’s faith, and the meaningful relationships she eventually builds, are the two things that give her strength and resilience to persevere through it all.

The darkest parts of Nikki’s life were the periods in which she had no emotional support at all. In her earliest years, the only consistently reliable and nurturing relationship Nikki had was with her older sister, Carol, who was herself a child. When Nikki goes to live with Bernice and Clark, she loses regular contact with Carol as well. This time is the toughest not only because of the sexual abuse she experiences but also because Bernice takes her away from all the meaningful people in her life: the Buchanans; Carol; and even her father.

Nikki’s faith is what sustains her through this trying time. Faith has been a huge part of Nikki’s life from the very beginning, and she describes how she experienced angels visiting her as a young child. This gives her a sense that there is someone watching over her despite everything she is going through. For instance, Nikki comes away from her appendectomy with the belief that it was God, not luck, that saved her life. At a time when she has no other relationships to rely on, Nikki’s faith gives her resilience because she feels supported by something safe and powerful. It also leads her to believe that she has an undiscovered purpose, giving her the strength to survive as she is hopeful that something better lies in wait for her.

Nikki experiences the power of both faith and relationships when Clark is finally out of her and Bernice’s life. Her earlier stint with the Buchanans demonstrated to her what real, loving relationships look like, and she is able to trust and build these kinds of bonds with a number of people now. She is thrilled to be back in touch with Carol and her father, now; she has a renewed relationship with Grandma Mac, which although flawed, is under mend; and she finds new friends and adults who care for her and believe in her, like Debra and Mrs. Wexler. Faith and relationships even converge in how Bernice finds people who come to be like family through her church.

Nikki’s contrasting experiences with the Buchanans and Bernice over the years also lead her to see that she will never receive the kind of emotional support she truly needs from her mother. Thus, she forms a wide and varied network of meaningful relationships, enough to nourish her through the maternal neglect she continues to experience. The strength she receives from her constant faith and her newfound relationships allow her to face challenging moments, new and old, with resilience: She has a shoulder to cry on in Debra, after her father passes; similarly, Mrs. Wexler encourages her to remain focused on her dreams, despite her mother’s mental health condition.

The support Nikki receives from her relationships eventually empowers her to make a decision that changes the trajectory of her life: With a fresh understanding that she does not need her mother anymore, and that she is capable of and destined to greater things, Nikki finally moves out of her mother’s place, ending a constant cycle of pain. Thus, it is this emotional support that ultimately gives her the inner strength and resilience to not only survive but eventually thrive.

The Healing Power of Creative Expression

The prologue of Ordinary Hazards holds two important pieces of information that are relevant to the book’s reading: Grimes suggests that her mother as the primary source of conflict and heartache in her life, and she establishes that her identity as a writer and poet is important. In combination, these revelations signal that writing and artistic expression are powerful positive forces throughout the book, helping the author to cope with a difficult home life.

Nikki’s first experiences with writing show her that expression in this manner can be cathartic. She discovers the “magic” of writing when she is at the Buchanans’ when she pours out everything she is thinking and feeling onto paper and finds that it calms her. This practice is one that holds her in good stead throughout the rest of her life and even connects her to her faith when she has nothing else to rely on. Nikki views her questions and prayers as a conversation between her and God, giving her a sense that when she expresses herself, there is someone listening.

Besides helping Nikki vent and process events in her life, writing also gives her a sense of self-worth and purpose. There are early indications that she is good with words and language: She makes up games for herself using words from the dictionary, and she enjoys doing the Sunday crossword by herself. She also works hard at writing in school and receives appreciation and recognition for her work. All of this gives Nikki a sense that she can find success through her writing. Years later, this evolves into a defined goal or sense of purpose, as she believes she has discovered what she is meant to do when she attends a poetry reading.

With Nikki being skilled at writing and having her self-worth located in the same, writing, literature, and other forms of artistic expression are instrumental in shaping Nikki’s identity. Her father is the one who takes her to the poetry reading; similarly, he introduces her to other kinds of art and literature to enhance and inspire her writing. The different kinds of music, dance, literature, and culture that Nikki is exposed to have a profound impact on her. Besides being a way for father and daughter to bond, these experiences shape Nikki’s sense identity and worldview, especially as a Black person.

Literature and other forms of art also consistently bring Nikki comfort at different points in her life. After her father’s death, Mrs. Wexler slips books into Nikki’s bag that she thinks will help the young girl in her grief. Nikki turns to these books for comfort just as she did with the copy of Little Women Mrs. Buchanan gave her, or in the stories she finds at the library. Similarly, there is a moment when Nikki loses herself in dance to the music of Chubby Checker at a block party, escaping the worries and troubles of life with Clark and Bernice.

Throughout Nikki’s life, creative forms of self-expression have been important and powerful forces. Besides offering her avenues to vent and providing her with comfort in tough times, they also contribute to the person she becomes: They give her a sense of accomplishment and purpose, and they shape her identity and life’s direction. Grimes’s memoir thus reveals the healing potential that writing, literature, and artistic expression can hold.