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101 pages 3 hours read

Sharon M. Draper

Out of My Mind

Fiction | Novel | Middle Grade | Published in 2010

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Important Quotes

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“Words have always swirled around me like snowflakes—each one delicate and different, each one melting untouched in my hands.” 


(Chapter 1, Page 1)

Melody uses a simile in this quote to describe what words mean to her, words that are as elusive as snowflakes. Interestingly, Melody appreciates the uniqueness of words, but wishes she was less unique, like her peers. 

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“I have never spoken one single word. I am almost eleven years old.” 


(Chapter 1, Page 3)

This final line in Chapter 1 informs the reader that the smart, literate girl who has been speaking the whole chapter is trapped in her mind. She cannot talk because of cerebral palsy, but her mind functions excellently.

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“Dad took videos of me getting fed, getting changed, and even me sleeping. As I got older, I guess he was waiting for me to turn over, and sit up, and walk. I never did.” 


(Chapter 2, Pages 4-5)

Melody relates how her father, excited to tape and preserve each of his first-born child’s movements, took hours of video. She assumes he taped so much because he was waiting for Melody to exhibit healthy growth, which due to cerebral palsy, never happened.

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“Harmonies made me smile. It’s like I’ve always had a painted musical sound track playing background to my life. I can almost hear colors and smell images when music is played.” 


(Chapter 2, Page 5)

Melody introduces her love for music in this quote. Music allows her to use her imagination and her senses and uplifts her spirits. Her love of music, instilled by her parents, helps her through some of her darkest moments.

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“I suppose it’s a good thing to be unable to forget anything—being able to keep every instant of my life crammed inside my head. But it’s also very frustrating. I can’t share any of it, and none of it ever goes away.” 


(Chapter 2, Page 6)

With a near photographic memory, Melody can remember the details of every experience, event, and sound she encounters. But as she isn’t able to share any of that information with others, and she can’t forget it, this ability is a constant reminder of her cerebral palsy.

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“Everybody uses words to express themselves. Except me. And I bet most people don’t realize the real power of words. But I do.” 


(Chapter 2, Page 8)

Melody remarks that people take the gift of speech for granted. Because verbal communication comes so naturally to them, they don’t take into account the impact their words have on others. For someone like Melody, who cannot speak, that gift is everything.

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“The words to every single book my father ever read to me are forever tucked inside.” 


(Chapter 3, Page 12)

Melody’s ability to remember also allows her to indulge in fond memories of her childhood. Her father loved to read her stories, and she remembers every word of those stories as a symbol of her father’s love for her.

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“Sometimes I wish I had a delete button in my head.”


(Chapter 3, Page 14)

Prejudice and the inability to defend herself against her critics follow Melody throughout the day. She struggles to try to let go of the hurtful remarks that are often directed at or to her by her teachers and classmates.

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“These things—I call them my “tornado explosions”— are pieces of me. All the stuff that does not work gets balled up and hyped up. I can’t stop, even though I want to, even though I know I’m freaking people out. I lose myself. It can get kinda ugly.” 


(Chapter 3, Page 15)

Melody speaks of her only possible reaction to a buildup of frustration and anger that she cannot express herself in the way she wants. These tantrums are a means by which her body releases the increased amounts of stress that she is under because of her inability to verbally communicate with people.

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“None of them can fix me, so I usually ignore them and act like the retarded person they think I am. I paste on a blank look, focus on one wall, and pretend their questions are too hard for me to understand. It’s sort of what they expect anyway.” 


(Chapter 4, Page 18)

The doctors who treat Melody often assume that Melody is as mentally damaged as she is physically damaged. Because there is no cure for her condition, Melody doesn’t feel like playing along with the doctors’ questions because she knows that they think she has a limited brain capacity.

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“I like all the kids in room H-5, and I understand their situations better than anybody, but there’s nobody else like me. It’s like I live in a cage with no door and no key. And I have no way to tell someone how to get me out.” 


(Chapter 5, Pages 37-38)

Melody’s “special needs” class includes kids with autism, emotional and physical trauma, kids confined to wheelchairs, and kids with Down syndrome. But none of them are trapped in the same way that Melody is: a brilliant person without the ability to speak aloud.

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“From the very beginning, Mrs. Valencia gave me no sympathy. Instead of sitting me in the special little chair my parents had bought for me, she plopped me on my back in the middle of the floor on a large, soft quilt. The first time she did that, I looked up at her like she was crazy. I cried. I screeched. She ignored me, walked away, and flipped on her CD player. Loud marching band music blared through the room. I liked it.” 


(Chapter 6, Page 41)

Using a kind of “tough love,” Mrs. V shows both her deep love and lack of sympathy for Melody. Mrs. V knows all too well how difficult life will be for the young girl, so she teaches Melody to embrace who she is and to toughen up against the bullying and cruelty that she will encounter.

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“I think about Rose all the time. I worry that she will change her mind and not like me. But Rose talks to me like I understand, and she tries to figure out what I’m saying as well.” 


(Chapter 11, Page 100)

Rose represents the friendship that Melody so desperately wants to develop with another girl her age. She wants a friend to talk to, to gossip with, to eat lunch with, and to confide in. Out of all the regular fifth-grade students, Rose is the nicest to Melody, but the underlying worry that Rose will decide not to remain friends with her becomes a constant fear in Melody’s daily life.

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“Never in my life have I had a teacher tell me to be quiet because I was talking to somebody in class! It was the best feeling in the world! I felt like the rest of the kids.” 


(Chapter 11, Page 100)

Rose’s willingness to sit with Melody during the inclusion music class allows Melody feel more like an average girl whispering with a friend. When she and Rose laugh about Melody’s response on her communication board, the teacher reprimands them. Melody is delighted to have a teacher tell her to be silent during class.

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“But ‘inclusion’ doesn’t mean I’m included in everything. I usually sit in the back of the room, going crazy because I know answers to things and can’t tell anybody.” 


(Chapter 12, Page 102)

The inclusion classes in her school do open more doors for Melody, but in many ways, she is just as trapped as in her “special needs” class. She knows the answers to the teachers’ questions but is unable to communicate them verbally.

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“I wanted to tease her about her outfit, but I didn’t want her to think I was mean. After all, I’d just met her. I searched all over my board for a way to jokingly make fun of her clothes, but I couldn’t think of a way to do it. So I gave up. It is so hard to say stuff.”


(Chapter 12, Page 104)

Melody worries about what she “says” using the communication board on her wheelchair. In this instance, she wants to tease her aide, Catherine, about Catherine’s poor fashion sense but doesn’t want to use the wrong words and insult Catherine or be misunderstood. This incident shows the difficulties of regular social interactions without the benefit of expressing humor, sarcasm, or nuance. 

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“I feel like Christopher Columbus bumping into America. It had been there all the time, but he was the first one from his world to find it. I wonder if his heart had beat as fast as mine is.” 


(Chapter 15, Page 133)

Melody compares herself to the famous explorer when she receives her Medi-Talker computer. With this tool, she can formulate words and sentences, program them in the computer, and then have the computer “speak” the words aloud for her.

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“When I think about it, I realize I have never, ever said any words directly to my parents. So I push a couple of buttons, and the machine speaks the words I’ve never been able to say. ‘I love you.’” 


(Chapter 15, Page 138)

The Medi-Talker computer gives Melody the chance to speak directly to her parents for the first time in her life. With that first opportunity, she tells them that she loves them, which was likely an emotional moment for the family.

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“But at recess I still sit alone. It’s been too cold to go outside, so we sit in the far corner of the overheated cafeteria until it’s time to go back to class. None of the girls gossip with me about some silly thing a boy has said. Nobody promises to call me after school. Nobody asks me to come to a birthday party or a sleepover. Not even Rose.” 


(Chapter 17, Pages 145-146)

Although the new computer allows Melody to “talk” to her classmates, it doesn’t change the view that many of the regular students hold of her. The computer does not improve Melody’s social experiences in the school.

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“If Melody Brooks can win the first round, then my questions must not be difficult enough! We’re all going to rally to win the competition!’” 


(Chapter 17, Page 154)

Mr. Dimming makes this insulting comment after Melody answers every question correctly on his Whiz Kids practice test. He underestimates Melody’s intelligence and thinks that his questions must not have been hard enough if a girl with cerebral palsy could get them right. This incident shows the lack of understanding Melody’s teachers have for her disability. 

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“How could I explain to her that without Catherine or my mom or Mrs. V, I wasn’t able to eat? I had to be fed like a baby. And I made a mess even then.” 


(Chapter 23, Page 195)

Melody is unable to eat pizza with her classmates during their Whiz Kids team practice sessions. She needs to be fed, and with no one there to help her, she is forced to lie and say she is not hungry. Melody is embarrassed that she must be fed her meals like a baby; another hinderance to her social life.

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“That makes me get all teary. Just once I wish I could hug my little sister or tell my dad I love him too. In real words, not through a machine.” 


(Chapter 27, Page 241)

Aside from the frustration of being unable to speak, Melody also must deal with limited physical expression. In this quote, she wishes for a more meaningful connection with her family members.

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“I hate feeling like this—like when I was little and got stuck on my back like a stupid turtle. There was nothing I could do. Nothing.” 


(Chapter 28, Page 260)

Melody compares the realization that her teammates have purposefully left her behind with the time when she fell on the floor as a little girl. She was unable to pick herself back up and was stuck there until her parents helped. As an intelligent person, Melody feels powerless physically.

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“She smacked me on the leg. She’d never raised a hand to me before. Never. I still didn’t stop screaming and kicking and jerking. I had to tell her. I had to tell her that Penny was out there! Never had I wanted words more. I was going out of my mind.” 


(Chapter 30, Page 274)

Desperate to communicate with her mother about the danger to Penny, Melody does everything she possibly can to get her mother’s attention, prompting her mother to hit her in frustration for the first time ever. As much as she wants to use words, it is this critical moment that Melody realizes she needs them to save her sister’s life.

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“I look at the ugly little statue, and I start to giggle. Then I crack up. Finally, I roll with laughter. My hand jerks out and hits the trophy—I’m not sure if it was an accident or not—and it falls to the floor, breaking into several pieces.” 


(Chapter 30, Page 291)

Melody’s reaction to being offered the cheaply made ninth-place Whiz Kids trophy lets her diminish her petty, selfish teammates while allowing her to keep her dignity and the higher ground.

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