Piecing Me Together

The reader is introduced to Jade Butler, the first-person speaker and narrator of the novel. Jade is just beginning her junior year at St. Francis High, a private school in Portland, Oregon. One of the first facts the reader learns about Jade is that she is studying the Spanish language: “When I learned the Spanish word for succeed, I thought it was kind of ironic that the word exit is embedded in it” (2). St. Francis is one of the best private schools in Portland, and Jade is only able to attend with the support of a full scholarship. St. Francis is located in a different part of Portland from where Jade lives, and she must take a long bus ride to school.

Unlike her classmates at St. Francis—who, for the most part, are wealthy and white—Jade is African American and her mother struggles to provide for her and her family on a meager salary. Jade’s mother is a home health aide for an elderly white woman by the name of Ms. Louise, having been fired from her previous job for stealing: “Mom used to work as a housekeeper at Emanuel Hospital, but she got fired because she was caught stealing supplies. She sometimes brought home blankets and the small lotions that are given to patients” (3).

It is the evening, and Jade is in her room trying to choose an outfit to wear for school the next day: “So here I am, trying to pick out something to wear that doesn’t look like I’m trying too hard to impress or that I don’t care about how I look” (3). Jade’s mother enters the room and tells her that the following morning she will not be there to see Jade off to school. Jade’s mother then launches into what Jade refers to as “the Talk”: “Every year since I started at St. Francis, Mom comes to my room the night before school starts to give me the Talk” (4). “The Talk” is a plea for Jade to make friends at St. Francis, since Jade’s mom feels that Jade has been isolating herself. Jade’s mother worries because Jade acts as if she “can’t survive” if she is not “joined together at the hip” (5) with Lee Lee, her best friend from the neighborhood. Lee Lee goes to the local high school, called Northside, which is where Jade would have gone had she not been accepted to St. Francis. Jade’s mother also reminds her that the next day she has a meeting with Mrs. Parker, her guidance counselor at school. Jade is excited for the meeting: “This is the year that teachers selected students to volunteer in a foreign country and do service learning projects. […] She [Mrs. Parker] knew from my application essay that I wanted to take Spanish and that I wanted to travel” (6). Mrs. Parker always has some opportunity—a scholarship, a program, a class—at the ready for Jade, and Jade wishes she were in a position to turn them down: “But girls like me, with coal skin and hula-hoop hips, whose mommas barely make enough money to keep food in the house, have to take opportunities every chance we get” (7).

As Jade’s mother leaves Jade’s bedroom, she asks if Jade needs anything from the grocery store. Jade says she wrote an item on the list tacked to the fridge, and Jade’s mother laughs and says she thought it was E.J. who wrote “mint chocolate chip ice cream.” E.J., the reader learns, is Jade’s mother’s younger brother, who lives with them. E.J. dropped out of college and now is a local deejay with no real plans to return to school. Jade’s mother promises that, if she has enough money left over, she will get the ice cream. Jade is not optimistic that she will come through with her promise: “I finish getting ready for school, thinking to myself that I know all about Mom’s promises. She does her best to make them, but they are fragile and break easily” (8). 

Jade leaves for school early the following day. She takes the 35 bus, which winds through a “maze of houses that all look like one another, like sisters who are not twins but everyone thinks they are” (9). Jade lives in an area of North Portland referred to as “The New Columbia,” which has a reputation for being a dangerous, impoverished area—it is located far from Jade’s wealthy high school. On the ride, Jade reflects on various parts of her life: how she’s able to find beauty even in the ugliest of things, how her mother stayed in Portland only because she gave birth to Jade, how her father re-married a white woman after he and Jade’s mother divorced.

In Northeast Portland, a girl about Jade’s age gets on the bus and begins reading a book: “A white girl gets on and goes to sit in the first empty seat she sees. She has dark brown hair pulled back and twisted into a mess of a ponytail” (11). Jade wonders if this girl goes to St. Francis, and when she exits at the same stop as Jade, it is clear that she does. The girl walks quickly into the crowd of students at the school before Jade has a chance to ask her if she is a new student. Jade looks out at the student body and notices “a few sections of color” among them, naming the few other African American students who attend St. Francis: “There’s Rose, one of the other black girls here, who I thought I’d become friends with […] Then there’s Josiah—the tech nerd who somehow in a place like this is one of the coolest, most popular guys in the school” (12).

Inside, Josiah sees Jade and stops her in the hallway. He invites her to lunch, but Jade says she cannot make it; secretly, it is because she is can’t afford to eat out for lunch. Both Rose and Josiah come from rich families, and Jade reflects on the differences in their upbringings, despite all being from African American families. Jade eats her lunch in the cafeteria, thinking about her upcoming meeting with Mrs. Parker, who will give Jade more information about St. Francis’s foreign service learning program: “[N]othing would make me miss this meeting with Mrs. Parker. I can’t wait to find out what country we’re going to, what the service learning project will be” (13). Jade is eager to travel and therefore is excited to learn about the program. 

Later that day, Jade spots the girl again: “I am sitting in Mr. Flores’s Spanish class, and I see that the girl from the bus is here too” (14). For a group project, Jade is partnered with Kennedy, who is “one of the few black girls” in her grade. Jade secretly refers to Kennedy as “Glamour Girl” because Kennedy is always “applying lip gloss or fixing her hair” (14). They are not friends.

When the lunch bell rings, Jade makes her way to Mrs. Parker’s office: “Like most of the adults in this school, Mrs. Parker is white. I imagine her to be a fun grandmother to the three boys in the pictures that decorate her office” (15). Jade anticipates that Mrs. Parker will tell Jade that she has been nominated for St. Francis’s study abroad program. Jade desperately wants to travel the world; she longs to go to Costa Rica or somewhere in Latin America where she can practice her Spanish language skills. Instead, Mrs. Parker slides a brochure to Jade across her desk for an organization called Woman to Woman, a mentorship program for African American girls. Mrs. Parker informs Jade that 12 girls from high schools throughout Portland have been chosen to join Woman to Woman, and that Jade is one of them. Each girl will be paired with a mentor for the two-year program, at the end of which, so long as the student’s GPA is a 3.5 or above, each girl will receive a scholarship to any Oregon college.

Though Jade is disappointed that she has no news from Mrs. Parker on the study abroad program, she reluctantly agrees to participate in Woman to Woman. Jade completes a brief questionnaire for the program with her full name (“Jade Butler”), favorite color (“yellow”), and hobbies (“collaging”), but when asked what she expects to get out of the program, she doesn’t answer: “I leave that one blank” (20). 

When Jade arrives home from school, she senses her mother’s presence in the house immediately: “Mom’s scent hugs me as soon as I get in the door” (21). Jade’s mother is resting on her twin bed; Jade observes that she did not take off her work clothes before falling asleep in front of the TV.

Jade goes into the kitchen and sees empty brown paper bags strewn all over the countertop—she knows that her mother went to the grocery store. Jade checks to see if her mother kept her promise to get the ice cream Jade requested: “And in the freezer: family value-size ground beef, frozen pizzas. And in the way, way back—ice cream. Mint chocolate chip” (21). 

Lee Lee and Jade compare their first days back at school: “Lee Lee comes over after school, and over bowls of mint chocolate chip ice cream, we swap stories about our first day” (22). Lee Lee tells Jade how much she likes her new history teacher, Mrs. Phillips, particularly because she offers a new take on American history. Lee Lee says that “she’s all about teaching stuff we don’t necessarily learn in our textbooks” (23) and that the class is now learning about York, the black slave who accompanied Lewis and Clark on their famous journey. York was a good hunter and helped navigate the crew, along with Native American Sacagawea, safely to Oregon. Rarely discussed in conventional American history, York was “just as important” (23) to the expedition as Lewis and Clark but does not get credit for being such a vital member of the expedition, claims Lee Lee’s teacher.

Lee Lee starts discussing high school gossip—“who’s broken up, who’s gotten back together”—but Jade is still thinking about what Lee Lee is learning in Mrs. Phillips’s history class: “The whole time Lee Lee is talking, I am thinking about York and Sacagawea, wondering how they must have felt having a form of freedom but no real power” (24).

After Lee Lee leaves, Jade works on an art project. Collaging is Jade’s preferred medium. The materials she uses in this instance are a copy of the 35 bus schedule and an old issue of St. John’s Review, her community newsletter. She cuts them into bits, transforming them: “I am ripping and cutting. Gluing and pasting. Rearranging reality, redefining, covering, disguising” (25). As she works, Jade thinks back on her conversation with Lee Lee about York; she also thinks about the parallels between Mrs. Parker and the British colonists who pillaged the Native Americans in the era of Lewis and Clark. 

Jade is on the bus to school, observing the girl from the day before: “The Book Girl gets on the bus again” (27). When a rowdy passenger boards the bus, playing his music loudly, Jade and Book Girl lock eyes in a shared look of irritation and understanding. Jade motions for Book Girl to come sit by her. Book Girl takes the seat next to Jade; she introduces herself as Sam. Jade tells Sam that she lives in North Portland. Sam lives near Peninsula Park, which is slightly closer than North Portland, but still very far from St. Francis.

Since Sam is new at the school, Jade gives Sam advice on how to navigate St. Francis: “As we ride to school together, I make sure to tell her the shortcuts to get around the crowded hallways. I let her know which teachers she should stay away from at all costs and which ones to get to know even if she doesn’t have their classes” (28). Before getting off the bus, Sam suggests that she and Jade eat lunch together. 

Jade and Sam become fast friends: “September has come and gone. My daily routine is riding the bus in the morning and eating lunch with Sam” (30). One evening after school, Jade attends her first Woman to Woman meeting at a library in Northeast Portland.

After school Jade heads to the library, where people are starting to gather for the Woman to Woman meeting: “When I get to the library, groups of women are huddled in circles making small talk” (31). Jade is greeted by an organizer and given a nametag; she is also told that her mentor, named Maxine, has not arrived yet.

Maxine still has not arrived when Sabrina, the founder of Woman to Woman, stands at the front of the stage to make her welcoming remarks. Sabrina discusses the reasons why she started the program: “I started this program because I believe in the power of sisterhood. We girls are often overlooked as if our needs are not important. And, well, I got tired of complaining, and wanted to do something about it” (32). Sabrina says that they will have fun, but they will also learn strategies for success and overcoming challenges. Next, Sabrina leads the group in an icebreaker exercise: Each mentor and mentee stand together and, one by one, they all go around the room and give their names. Each person must give an adjective that describes her and that also begins with the same letter as her first name—for example, a woman in the group calls herself “Hilarious Hillary” (34). Jade’s mentor, Maxine, still has not arrived when the game begins, and Jade is upset by her absence:

“I think of names for my mentor: Missing Maxine, Mediocre Maxine, Mean Maxine” (34). Irritated with Maxine and the “stupid” getting-to-know-you game, Jade slips out the back of the library and takes the bus home. When Jade enters her house, her mother can tell that something is upsetting Jade: “She [Jade’s mom] is good at reading minds, reading the room, at having a feeling that won’t go away” (35). Jade tells her mother that her mentor never showed up to the meeting and so she left. Jade’s mother asks why Jade did not speak up for herself by saying something to the organizers.

Jade also reveals in this chapter why her uncle E.J. is living with her and her mother: He dropped out of college a year earlier after one of his best friends fell victim to gun violence. Jade notes: “Nothing’s been the same since then. I think Mom only hears what she wants to hear, sees what she wants to see when it comes to her baby brother. Mom knows E.J. is not fine” (35).   

Jade calls Lee Lee when she arrives home after Woman to Woman: “I am on the phone, talking to Lee Lee, telling her everything that did and didn’t happen at the Woman to Woman welcome meeting” (38). When Lee Lee and Jade hang up the phone, there is knock at the door and Jade peers out the window to see a woman standing there:

[O]n a second look, I think maybe she’s lost and needs directions. She’s way too pretty to be here for E.J. Her hair is crinkled and wild, all over the place—but on purpose. She’s somewhere in the middle of thick and big-boned. I want to look like that. Instead I’m just plump. I open the door (39).

The woman introduces herself as Maxine. She apologizes for not showing up to the meeting but explains that “[a] ton of stuff happened” (39) that prevented her from attending. Jade reluctantly accepts the explanation. Maxine gives Jade a gift bag, and Jade wonders if Maxine is trying to “buy [her] forgiveness” (40). Inside are art supplies: colored paper, oil pastels, a sketchbook.

Maxine asks to know more about Jade’s art. Jade explains, “Well, I like to take things that people don’t usually find beautiful and make them beautiful. Like, blocks here in the Villa, or sometimes people in my neighborhood. I don’t know. I get ideas from everywhere” (41). Jade shows Maxine a collection of her collages, including one she made to commemorate the death of Lee Lee’s grandmother. The collage is made from bits of fabric from Lee Lee’s grandmother’s handkerchiefs and clippings from the funeral program. Maxine compliments Jade’s work and tells her that she is going to tell her sister, Mia, who owns an art gallery, about Jade’s collages.

Maxine’s phone rings and she excuses herself to take the call. When Maxine returns her attention to Jade, they discuss St. Francis and continue to get to know one another through small talk. Jade asks Maxine if she was in the Woman to Woman program, and Maxine says no, though when Mrs. Parker approached her about the program Maxine was interested as a way of “giving back” (44). Maxine pulls her phone from her pocket, checking her text messages. E.J. enters the living room and, to Jade’s surprise, he recognizes Maxine: “My mentor knows my uncle? I’m not sure how to feel about this” (45). It turns out that E.J. is friends with Jon, Maxine’s ex-boyfriend; E.J. says that Jon told him about his and Maxine’s fight earlier today, but E.J. is confident that they will get back together. Maxine says that this break-up is final, alluding to a pattern of multiple break-ups with Jon. Meanwhile, Jade wonders if this “drama” with her ex-boyfriend is what prevented Maxine from attending Woman to Woman that evening. After Maxine leaves, Jade questions whether joining Woman to Woman was a good idea, given Maxine’s questionable behavior with her ex-boyfriend: “All of this has me wondering, what have I gotten myself into? Has me wondering, what is this woman really going to teach me?” (46).

The next day before school, Jade shows her mother the expensive art supplies that Maxine gave. Jade’s mother looks at the shared dry erase board calendar in their kitchen, which they use to keep track of the family schedule. She notes that Jade has a busy week: “On Monday I’m staying after school for a National Honor Society meeting. Wednesday and Thursday I tutor Josiah, and Friday night there’s a one-on-one mentoring outing with Maxine” (47). Jade’s mother tells her that “[i]t’ll be worth it” (47), referring to Jade’s rigorous weekly schedule. Jade’s mother says that she wants to meet Maxine before their one-on-one outing; she does not like the idea of her daughter going out with a stranger, even if she is a mentor with Woman to Woman. Jade leaves for school.

After school, Jade goes to Sam’s house. Sam lives with her grandparents and, before arriving, she gives Jade “disclaimers and warnings” about what Jade will encounter at her house: “Okay, so my house is small and kind of cluttered because my grandparents refuse to throw anything away” (50). Sam also tells Jade about her grandparents’ health problems, particularly her grandmother’s Alzheimer’s, which makes her “moody” and “forgetful” (51).

When they arrive at the house, Sam shouts inside to announce their arrival: “Grandma, it’s me, Sam. I’m home. I have a friend with me” (51). Sam’s grandmother is watching the news on the TV and does not acknowledge Sam and Jade when they enter the room. Sam’s grandfather calls the girls into the kitchen. He greets Jade and asks her where she lives, and when she replies North Portland, Sam’s grandmother shouts from the other room: “Nothing but hillbillies, blacks, and Mexicans over there!” (52). Sam mouths “I’m so sorry” to Jade as her grandmother continues her tirade about the neighborhood. Sam’s grandfather explains that the Franklin family has lived in Northeast Portland for many years and seen the neighborhood dramatically change over the last decade. He alludes to the fact that the neighborhood demographics are changing—namely, with more black families moving there—and that the rest of the neighborhood (presumably, white people) is not adjusting easily.

Jade and Sam head to Sam’s room to practice their Spanish. Midway through their studying, Sam’s grandfather enters the room to say that Sam’s mother is on the phone and wants to speak with her. Sam quickly takes the call, saying that she is fine and needs to get back to studying. Jade is surprised at Sam’s distant relationship with her mother, whom she only sees once a month. Instead of continuing their studying, they talk about their families, their experiences as poor kids at St. Francis, and how privileged they are compared to their peers from their neighborhoods. Above all, they share the feeling of being “stuck in the middle” (58), in Sam’s words. Jade says how happy she is to have Sam as a friend now. 

It is early Sunday morning and Jade is waiting for Maxine to arrive at her mother’s home so they can go out for brunch to celebrate Jade’s upcoming birthday. Maxine was supposed to take Jade out for dinner last Friday, but she needed to cancel unexpectedly. Jade’s mother asks why she is up so early. Jade explains that Maxine is coming by so that they can “do brunch” to celebrate her birthday, and Jade’s mother scoffs, “Do brunch? You mean go to brunch? […] That woman has you talking like her already, huh?” (60). Jade’s mother is angry that Jade did not tell her about this outing beforehand, in addition to being upset with Maxine for not getting her permission first. Jade’s mother forbids her from going.

When Maxine rings the doorbell, Jade’s mother opens the door and informs her that Jade cannot go to brunch with her. Furthermore, she tells Maxine that she must get her permission before making any more plans with Jade. Maxine apologizes, and Jade’s mother invites her in for a brief visit with Jade.

Jade takes Maxine into her room and shows her the collage that she’s been working on: It is about York, the slave who helped guide Lewis and Clark. Before Maxine leaves, she tells Jade’s mother that she would like to take Jade to a bookstore downtown and purchase a few art books, remarking that Jade is very talented. Jade’s mother says that Jade is allowed to go to the bookstore with Maxine the following weekend.

It is Jade’s birthday and her mother is making Jade’s favorite breakfast to celebrate: “I wake up to the smell of pancakes and bacon” (65). At the breakfast table, Jade tells her mother that she plans on spending the day with Lee Lee and Sam. She also mentions that her father is going to come by the house that night to drop off a gift.

Jade’s mother goes to work, leaving Jade alone at home. As Jade gets dressed, Lee Lee calls to say that she got into an argument with her aunt, and so she is “on punishment” (67) and will not be able to see Jade for her birthday. Sam calls shortly after and says that she is sick and will not be able to join Jade either. Jade spends the rest of the afternoon watching TV, feeling sad that she must spend her birthday alone. Jade’s dad does not come to drop off the gift, nor does her call.

Around eleven o’clock, Jade goes to her room and puts on her pajamas. She fights back tears as she lies on her bed listening to music. E.J. knocks on her door just as Jade is falling asleep and tells her to follow him into the kitchen. E.J. offers her a piece of cheesecake, saying that she “can’t go to bed without some birthday dessert” (68). 

Chapter 15 is a brief, one-page vignette that portrays a small, quiet moment in Jade’s life: It is a Sunday and Jade is at home relaxing. She has taken her braids out: “My black cotton hovers over me like a cloud. I’d never wear my hair like this to school, but today is Sunday and I’m home” (69). Jade’s mother enters the house, takes off her shoes after a long day, and sighs.  

Jade’s birthday weekend is over, and she makes her way to school on a windy, rainy morning. Sam is not on the bus that day, Jade notices.

Jade is greeted at school by Josiah, who wishes her a happy birthday. Jade is confused, as she does not know how her fellow students are aware that it was her birthday. When she rounds the hallway corner toward her locker, she sees Sam standing there: “She [Sam] is at my locker—only it doesn’t look like my locker, because there are balloons and an oversized card taped on it. I walk faster, and when I get to her, she holds her arms out and hugs me” (71). Sam apologizes for missing Jade’s birthday, but Jade has already forgiven her—she is delighted with Sam’s surprise. 

That day after school, Jade goes to her father’s home, where he greets her with a gift: “Dad goes into his bedroom and brings out two boxes. One has a digital camera in it, the other a mini photo printer” (72). Jade’s father apologizes for missing her on her birthday—he offers the excuse that “[s]omething came up” (72), and Jade tells him he could have called. He claims that his cell phone died, and Jade makes a face that indicates her feeling that that is a subpar excuse. Finally, Jade’s father relents and says that there is “no good reason” why he did not see her, and he apologizes again for hurting his “queen” (73).

Jade immediately starts taking photos with her new camera. She takes a couple of her father, and then they head to the kitchen to eat Chinese leftovers. Jade’s father asks her how she is doing in school; she replies that she is studying Spanish and loves it, because she loves studying language. When he asks her why, she says it is because it makes her feel “powerful” (74). Jade reminds her father that he was the one to tell her how important it was for her to read, because it was once illegal for African Americans to learn how to read—she thinks that is a big reason why she feels that language is so powerful. 

Another one-page vignette details the various pictures that Jade takes with her new camera of the everyday life that surrounds her: “On the way home from Dad’s I take as many photos as I can: Naked branches and tree trunks. Fallen leaves. A little girl falling asleep in her mother’s arms on the bus” (75). The chapter closes with Jade turning the camera to face her, taking a self-portrait. 

Maxine takes Jade to Powell’s bookstore, and Jade is smitten despite having had reservations initially: “‘This place feels magical,’ I say to Maxine. When she first told me she was bringing me to a bookstore, I wasn’t that excited to go” (76). Maxine informs a salesperson—who is a “short tan woman with a kinky Afro” (76)—that Jade is an artist, specifically a collagist, and that they are looking for books of inspiration from other black collagists. The salesperson suggests a book on the work of Romare Bearden and another on Mickalene Thomas. Jade is enthralled: “I am looking through the book, staring at these brown women and their faces that are pieced together with different shades of brown, different-size features, all mismatched yet perfectly puzzled together to make them whole beings” (77). Maxine pays for the books and says that Jade can thank her by using them as inspiration to make “great art” (78). 

Chapter 20 is another one-page fragment, in stream-of-consciousness style, in which Jade ruminates on Woman to Woman and the number 12: “There are twelve girls who’ve been selected for the Woman to Woman mentorship program. Twelve seeds. Twelve prayers. Twelve daughters. Twelve roots” (79).