Please Look After Mom

Chi-hon narrates the Epilogue in the second person. She begins with a matter-of-fact update about her mother: “It’s been nine months since Mom went missing” (231). Though earlier Chi-hon wanted to flee to Chile because she couldn’t deal with her mom’s disappearance, Chi-hon is now in Rome, Italy. Her boyfriend, Yu-bin, asked her to accompany him there on a whim. He didn’t think Chi-hon would say yes, but she jumped at the chance to get away. The entire Epilogue consists of her visit to Vatican City.

Despite being on a group tour of St. Peter’s Basilica, Chi-hon ignores the guide and instead reads a letter from her younger sister, who writes about finding their mother unconscious near the shed, and So-nyo downplaying her health issues. This happened when the younger sister had just returned to South Korea from America, so So-nyo gave her a scraggly persimmon tree for her move to Seoul. The younger sister didn’t want to take the tree, but her mother guilted her: The tree would be a remembrance after So-nyo died. Though the younger sister planted the tree reluctantly, once So-nyo disappeared, the younger sister began taking care of it. When she uprooted it to replant it, she marveled at how deep the roots had burrowed. The younger sister still wonders if their mother gave her the tree to impart a lesson.

In the letter, the younger sister remembers that So-nyo had superhuman strength her entire life. However, the younger sister believes that So-nyo’s self-sacrifice drained her more and more over the years. Though the younger sister marvels at their mom’s strength, she can’t be like their mother: Tired of the burden of self-sacrifice, she longs to send her baby to school or catch a break from her children. She wonders why she never realized their mother gave up her dreams to ensure their dreams might come true. The younger sister asks if they will ever spend time with their mother again, wishing they could tell her that they did respect her. She asks Chi-hon not to give up on their mother.

Because the letter cuts off mid-thought, Chi-hon imagines her younger sister having to take care of her children and giving up on finishing the letter. When Chi-hon tunes back in to the tour, the guide explains that Michelangelo had health issues for the rest of his life after overworking himself finishing the Sistine Chapel’s ceiling in time. Chi-hon’s thoughts turn toward her father. Before her trip, he told her he feels responsible for So-nyo’s disappearance because he never did anything about her lingering health problems. Chi-hon believed her mother could never be ill because always nursed everyone else back to health. Her father, for instance, had several surgeries and health scares, and even a hospital stay where he locked himself in the bathroom and So-nyo had to coax him back out—an event he claims he doesn’t remember. Chi-hon remembers her mother taking her father’s side: So-nyo, too, would hide sometimes and scream or shout for no apparent reason. So-nyo believed the trauma of their past was responsible for them wanting to hide.

Chi-hon left Yu-bin in their hotel that morning, after he touched her in bed and she pushed his hand away, angering him. She announced that she was going to the Vatican alone, though he asked her to wait until the next day and see it with him. In the months leading up the trip, she got angry with her older brother for seemingly giving up on the search. She even stormed into a police station once and demanded that the police do their jobs—this was after nine months, when the police had given up because there were no leads. Chi-hon couldn’t come to terms with the fact that her mother was not around to see the seasons changing, so she left for Rome without telling her family.

Even in Rome, however, Chi-hon restlessly scans the crowds for signs of her mother. When the tour guide mentions that the Vatican is the world’s smallest country, Chi-hon remembers her mother asking for a rosewood rosary from the world’s smallest country. Chi-hon rushes to the gift shop and purchases a rosary. Overcome with emotion, she pushes her way to the statue of the Pietà, feeling “As if you are being dragged forward” (252). The statue depicts Mary holding a dead Christ after his crucifixion with pain and suffering on her face. As she watches the lifelike statue, Chi-hon feels that her mother is standing right behind her. She kneels before the statue and everyone else fades away. She can smell her mother’s scent, and the statue of Mary looks upon Chi-hon with compassion, as if Mary is soothing her as well. She rushes outside and, after catching her breath, begs, “Please, please look after Mom” (254).