Reminders of Him

Kenna appreciates Ledger buying her dinner. They eat hamburgers in his truck, neither interested in going in and raising eyebrows. Hesitatingly, Ledger tells Kenna how people in the town, himself among them, judged her as unremorseful and indifferent based on her appearance in court and her disinterest in her own defense: “I thought you were the most disgusting person I had ever met” (146). Kenna struggles to explain her emotional state, how devastated she was after Scotty’s death: “I was shattered” (148). Ledger assures her that Diem is happy and that needing to see the child is more about Kenna than it is about Diem.

Understanding now exactly what she is up against, Kenna, her heart heavy, agrees that as soon as she can save up the money she will return to Denver. To help, Ledger offers her weekend dishwasher work at the bar.

The night Kenna arrives to work in the kitchen, Ledger introduces her as Nicole. He tells only Roman, the bartender, the truth. Kenna will stay in the kitchen away from the customers.

That night, Diem is in a dance recital, and Ledger heads out early to attend. After the show, Grace asks Ledger about progress on his new house out in the country. Diem is upset over the house. She fears she will lose Ledger when he moves so far away (all of eight miles). Grace takes Ledger aside and tells him they have filed for a restraining order against Kenna because, to them, the encounter in the parking lot revealed that Kenna might be a threat.

While she works in the bar kitchen, Kenna enjoys conversations with the staff. One of the servers, Mary Anne, is curious over why Ledger hired someone with no restaurant experience. Kenna has not told anyone about her five years of experience in the prison kitchen because it makes her uncomfortable to talk about it. Mary Anne shares that Ledger was engaged to be married, that the wedding was to have been this week, and that the bride called it off at the last minute. Hiring Kenna, she says, is logical: “You’re gorgeous. He’s heartbroken” (161).

On a break, Kenna visits with Roman the bartender and finds out that he was in the pros with Ledger, that he suffered a career-ending leg injury, and that Ledger helped him through what became a substance use disorder. Later, Kenna asks Ledger about the engagement, but Ledger stays vague. He hints the bride was not happy with Ledger’s fondness for Diem. When Kenna insults Ledger’s ex-fiancée to defend him, he says: “Look at you, an overprotective mother” (165). Kenna is thrilled to be called a mother.

Later, as they finish washing dishes together, Ledger asks Kenna about the letters she writes to Scotty. She admits she has written more than 300 and that they have helped her cope. Ledger tells her that Diem also has a “wild imagination” (164). He asks to read a letter about the night of the accident, but Kenna refuses. Ledger drives Kenna home but leaves before anything happens.

At the T-ball game the next day, mothers confront Ledger; they are concerned over the rumor that Kenna is back in town. They remind Ledger about Kenna’s coldness at her trial and rumors that she is still drinking and thus poses a threat to Diem. Ledger says little, uncertain how, or if, he should defend Kenna.

Later that day, Ledger picks up Kenna from work and tells her as gently as he can about the restraining order. He knows she has “done nothing” (175) to deserve a restraining order. To help, he shares with Kenna more videos of Diem. Kenna says nothing. Kenna heads into work equipped now with ear buds. She wants to block out the music the dishwasher plays. She tells a bewildered Ledger, “I hate music […] Because it’s sad” (176).

When Kenna receives her first paycheck from the store, she buys a phone. Lucy introduces Kenna to her mother, Adeline. Not realizing who Kenna is, Adeline invites Kenna to a small neighbor gathering this Sunday to celebrate Mother’s Day.

Kenna promises Adeline to see whether the bar might lend a table and chairs for the lunch. Kenna secures a table and chairs with Roman’s help. They are stored in his apartment over the bar. When Ledger meets them as they are hauling out the table from Roman’s apartment, Kenna senses that Ledger is jealous, but Ledger says nothing: “Almost like he’s doing everything he can to keep me from knowing his thoughts” (185).