Reviving Ophelia

Nonfiction | Book | Adult | Published in 1994

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Summary

Chapter Summaries & Analyses

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapters 6-8

Chapters 9-10

Chapters 11-12

Chapter 13

Chapters 14-16

Key Figures

Themes

Symbols & Motifs

Important Quotes

Essay Topics

Symbols & Motifs

Ophelia

The title of the book, Reviving Ophelia, is a metaphor based upon the character in Shakespeare’s Hamlet. In this play, Ophelia begins as a young girl on the brink of her youth, and she is full of life, independence, and is steadfast to her own will. She then falls in love with Hamlet and from there becomes nothing more than an object of his affection, living her life only to please and serve him. Pipher explains that this is the state of adolescent girls both in the 1990s and today and states that Western culture molds young girls into shadows of their former selves. Girls who once had goals, ideals, and a sense of self become fractured and lost in the storm of adolescence, often spiraling into depression, eating disorders, or unhealthy sexual habits.

Many of the behaviors that adolescent girls exhibit are taught to them by their culture through media, peers, and even their own parents. Girls are taught to be beautiful, quiet, submissive, and nonthreatening. The male-dominated Western culture has prolonged this ideology for decades, if not centuries. Pipher asserts that it is time for this ideal to change, and, while progress is being made, Western culture still has a long way to go. Gender roles have loosened in the past three decades, with girls given more choices and less constriction in how they express who they are. Nonconventional gender expression is more and more accepted in mainstream society. Crime and sexual violence rates are lower than they were in the 1990s, but pornography and internet violence consumption are much higher. Pipher also explains that girls “know they are losing themselves” (28) and that the problem lies more in that they are not taught the skills to overcome these pressures. Furthermore, many girls believe they do not even deserve or have a right to say no in certain situations. Adolescent girls also try on many different personalities and identities to try and find their lost self.

The Self

Pipher introduces the concept of the self in Chapter 1 when she discusses the ways in which culture acts to distance adolescent girls from their own true selves and become a false self instead. She refers to an admiration for Jung, who originally devised the theory of the self, believing that it fractures as a young child and that people spend most of their lives rebuilding it and piecing it back together. Pipher believes that this fracture really occurs in adolescence, not early childhood; by her observation, prepubescent girls are happy, sure of themselves, and ready to take on the world. When they reach age 11 or 12, things take a dark turn for many of them. Some girls manage to weather adolescence with little to no grief, staying away from drama and difficult situations. Most girls do not manage to avoid it though and are left to weather a long and treacherous storm.

A large portion of Pipher’s work as a therapist from the 1990s and 2010s was in helping adolescent girls find and rebuild their lost sense of self. Pipher had a comprehensive and effective approach for doing this. She began by listening—just listening. She let each girl who came into her office tell her story in her own way, in her own time, asking only gentle questions and remaining nonjudgmental. When she developed trust with a client, she would move into suggesting changes they could make in their lives. These changes started off small. If they were having trouble making friends, perhaps they could try talking to one person in one class. If they were dealing with divorce, she would suggest a diary or spending more time with friends. Pipher spent as much time as each girl needed with her, whether this was a couple sessions or several months. She was almost always left to speculate how their lives turned out, but when girls left Pipher’s care, they were generally better off than when they began. Having an outside source of support and an objective yet understanding listening ear, especially one who is an adult, is crucial in adolescent girls’ lives. Pipher also helped parents become that person for them, through training sessions and small suggestions. Pipher believes that a strong sense of self comes from a strong community and a strong family unit, whatever shape that family may take. Girls who feel supported and safe in their relationships and their world are free to focus on developing their personalities, their skills, and their dreams.

Nature

Throughout the book Pipher compares girls and their experiences in adolescence to events and objects in nature. Girls and females in general have been associated with nature for centuries, if not longer. There is a long-standing connection between the feminine, the natural, and the earth. Pipher utilizes this metaphor in many ways as well as using it as a tool for creating imagery when she is describing interviews with girls in the form of anecdotes. Pipher compares girls in adolescence to saplings. Saplings are the smallest form of a tree once it starts to grow. They have weak and short root systems that are easy to rip out. The wind from storms can tear a sapling from the earth and blow it off into nothingness. The same phenomenon often occurs in adolescence, when girls are thrust into the world of sex, violence, and expectations that they often cannot meet. Fortunately, most girls find their way back to themselves eventually, but adolescence is a tricky road they must first weather.

Pipher also uses a hurricane or a storm as a metaphor for adolescence. It comes in with full force, sweeps a girl up, and drops her off somewhere completely foreign to her. She can become lost and may need help finding her way. When she loses her way, Pipher insists that girls must look to their North Star, or their inner voice. This inner voice is a girl’s true self, and the voice that points them in healthy and self-enhancing directions. When girls lose sight of their North Star through the pressures of culture, it takes resilience and a strong community for them to find it again. This pressure “disorients and depresses most girls” (31) and extensive societal change is needed to address the loss of potential and vitality that occurs in adolescence. At the end of Reviving Ophelia, Pipher relates an anecdote about a patient she met at age 27, who despite the struggles of adolescence found herself and her place in the world. She compares girls to flowers and asserts that Western culture must shift to allow these flowers to bloom. Contrarily, she also points to a story in which a girl wishes she was a rose, noting the negative association between being an inanimate object rather than a fully formed person. Overall, Pipher uses nature to symbolize her views on adolescence and the girls who are going through it.