The Authenticity Project

“In a world where everything seemed to be electronic and paper was a rapidly disappearing medium, Julian had found The Library, where the smell of old books mingled with the aroma of freshly ground coffee, wonderfully nostalgic.”

As Julian ages, the world continues to progress and change in profound ways. This exacerbates his loneliness. Whereas Julian used to be popular, now he is lonely and nearly forgotten. Julian finds comfort in Monica’s book nook, which inspires him to leave the notebook for another person who finds the same kind of comfort from old-fashioned objects. Here, Pooley uses books as a metaphor for Julian’s loss of popularity and self. If someone can appreciate books, then they can also appreciate Julian.

“Being the boss was all very well, she told her mother, inside her head, and she loved her café, the essence of which had seeped into her bones, but it was lonely.”

Being a boss is empowering but also stressful, and Monica no longer has the supportive network she once had with her mother. Owning the café is an homage to her deceased mother, who loved cafes and would have been proud of Monica’s sense of independence. Still, Monica finds the job lonely and difficult. This quote highlights Monica’s loneliness and her desire to hold on to her mother’s memory even when her mother can no longer bear witness to Monica’s life.

“Sober. What a horrible word. Serious, sensible, solemn, staid, steady—nothing like Hazard himself, who was a case of nominative determinism in action.”

Julian and Monica are well into the next chapters of their lives, but Hazard is just beginning. Sobriety is important to Hazard, but it is a major challenge that is isolating and frightening. “Nominative determinism” is the theory that people tend to gravitate towards work that reflects their names. Hazard, therefore, is aptly named Hazard because of this new journey with sobriety. It is hazardous for him to pursue sobriety, but also hazardous to keep destroying his life with drugs.

“How many times in the last few years had Julian walked down this road marveling at all the people rushing past him, wondering where they were going and what they were doing, while he was just putting one foot in front of the other for no particular reason at all, apart from the fear that if he didn’t he would completely seize up? But today, he was one of them; someone with somewhere to be.”

Julian’s sense of loneliness is paralleled by and juxtaposed by his identity as an artist. As a portrait painter, Julian works in isolation, but he also observes others with careful precision. Since ending his career, Julian is lonely because he has no purpose and no one to observe. Monica’s art classes give Julian both important elements back into his life. Here, Pooley highlights the importance of having purpose in the world, as well as the importance of having people to observe and interact with.

“But, as is so often the case, as soon as he’d decided to stop trying, as if the universe was flirting with serendipity, the perfect solution just dropped into his lap.”

The topic of serendipity is important in this novel. Serendipity, or the finding of valuable things not sought for, is what brings Monica, Julian, and Hazard together through the random act of finding the green notebook. These characters are relatable in that they seek to control certain aspects of their life, while serendipity is a challenge of this control. In this quote, Hazard acknowledges the power of serendipity and the importance of letting go of expectations and control. In letting go of some control, Pooley encourages, people can discover surprising joys.

“One of the benefits of being an artist is that you spend so much time watching people, looking not just at all the shades and contours of their faces, but into their souls. It gives you an almost uncanny insight. You gained, particularly when you got to Julian’s age, the ability to read people and know how they were going to react. Monica, Julian could tell, was far too independent, too driven and focused to be distracted by a pretty face. She had loftier ambitions than marriage and babies.”

Pooley emphasizes her message that people can easily misunderstand one another. While Monica is desperate for a husband and babies, Julian incorrectly reads her as a woman who is not interested in familial ambitions. Julian fancies himself an astute observer of other people because of his talents as an artist, but this holds Julian back from being open to the way people truly are. Julian profiles Monica and projects his own goals for her onto his perception of her. This takes away Monica’s autonomy, even though Julian believes he is being supportive. This emphasizes that one can never truly know another person unless they allow that person to show their true selves.

“Riley was never going to be a sensible long-term proposition, obviously; he was too different from her, too young, too transitory, and she’d like to bet he’d never read any Dickens. But maybe she could have a fling? See what happened. Be spontaneous. Maybe she should try on that persona, like she would a fancy dress outfit, just for a while.”

Monica makes a concerted effort not to get too attached to Riley because she is a practical and realistic person. But in this quote, Pooley highlights that people can’t always be pragmatic about their feelings. Furthermore, Monica’s desire to try to be different from the person she is contrasts with the goal of “The Authenticity Project.” Monica is undergoing a journey to find her authenticity, so acting inauthentic about what she wants and who she is foreshadows inner and external conflict.

“She’s quite fit, Monica. She’s slim, with neat little features, a turned-up nose, and hair like a show pony. But she has an intensity to her that I find off-putting to the point of terrifying. She makes me feel that I must be doing something wrong (which I probably am, to be honest).”

This quote foreshadows a relationship between Monica and Hazard. Hazard is attracted to Monica but tries to convince himself that he’s not because she is different from the women he typically dates, and notably because she would present a challenge to his ideas of the world. Though Hazard doesn’t want to admit it, a put-together woman like Monica might be perfect for him as he moves through recovery. Here, Hazard’s inauthentic analysis of his attraction to Monica foreshadows future conflict and character growth.

“The only thing taking the edge off Riley’s enjoyment, apart from Monica’s strange obsession with bacteria, was the knowledge that he had to tell her about The Authenticity Project. It felt deceitful knowing more about her than she did about him, and he was, by nature, a very honest person. What you saw was what you got with him.”

In this quote, Riley’s authenticity is called into question. Though Riley considers himself honest, he is not being honest with Monica. This threatens the cycle of authenticity and positivity that the notebook has thus far brought to the characters’ lives. Riley must be honest with Monica to fulfill the goals of the notebook and keep the characters’ faith in the power of the notebook.

“Although, remember you said maybe telling that story will change your life? Well, I think just writing it down created some sort of magic, because my life has really changed since then. Everything seems to be coming together. At least, I’d thought it was. I left the book in a wine bar, weeks ago.”

Monica’s reflection is important in highlighting the positive impact of sharing authenticity. Because Julian inspired a stranger with his intimate words, Monica was able to build a sense of peace and confidence in herself. Good things began to manifest in her life: Her café business improves, she meets Riley, and she makes friends with Julian. Monica’s sense of loneliness eases shortly after finding the green notebook. This character and plot development demonstrates the power of human connection and how putting positive vibes into society can directly impact people’s happiness.

“It felt like terribly bad karma, destroying people’s carefully written, heartfelt stories. Perhaps he should pass it on, as Monica and Hazard had done. Maybe it would bring someone luck—it had, after all, introduced him to Monica and a whole group of friends.”

Riley’s relationship with the green notebook is more fraught than Monica’s. Whereas the notebook has only brought Monica community, for Riley it is accompanied with his guilt. Riley is betraying his better character in being dishonest. In his inauthenticity, he is also not honoring the purpose of the notebook. This quote highlights the juxtaposition between his experience with the notebook and Monica’s.

“Talking of dreams, not in her wildest ones had she imagined being with anyone as utterly gorgeous as Riley. She had to keep pinching herself.”

Though Monica has developed a stronger sense of self and community in this novel, here Pooley demonstrates that Monica continues to struggle with self-perception. Despite good things happening to her, Monica is still in the mindset that she doesn’t deserve love, relationships, or good-looking men. Monica’s internalization of low self-worth is her final hurdle to being happy. Additionally, this quote demonstrates how Monica puts more importance in Riley than on herself. This imbalance challenges the journey she has been going on since finding the green notebook.

“She’d been in such a rush to complete the perfect picture: handsome, wealthy husband; terraced Victorian house in the right part of Fulham; and beautiful, happy baby. She was living the dream, wasn’t she? Her followers certainly thought she was, which made her feel horribly ungrateful.”

Social media is a space in which people can fabricate their lives. It is easy to use social media to present the self and life as picture-perfect. This inauthenticity makes followers feel aspirational but also bad about themselves, prompting a cycle of inauthenticity that damages human connections and human self-esteem. Here, Alice captures this issue perfectly. Though her life is stressful and full of tears, her social media is immaculate and doesn’t not show the truth and reality of the challenges in her life. But in being inauthentic for her followers, she teaches her followers that they should feel bad if they are going through challenges.

“What would happen if you shared the truth instead? Does anyone want to know the truth? Really? The truth often isn’t pretty. It’s not aspirational. It doesn’t fit neatly into a little square on Instagram. Alice presented a version of the truth; the one that people wanted to see pop up on their feed. Anything too real and she’d lose followers in droves.”

Alice is intrigued by the journal, but she knows from experience that authenticity is exceptionally difficult, in part because most people don’t want the authentic truth. If Alice were to be honest with her followers, she would lose support because other people want aspirational images, not reality. Alice deals with her inner conflicts by trying to fit images neatly into “a little square,” implying that she knows her Instagram persona is a defensive posture. By cultivating her social media presence, Alice can avoid confronting the depths of her problems. Here, Alice questions if other people want the truth, but it is also true that Alice wants to avoid her own truth.

“She hated the fact that all this time Riley had been lying to her. She hated the idea of Hazard and Riley pitying her. She loathed the thought of them talking about her, planning how to rectify her sad old life. And she felt stupid. She wasn’t used to feeling stupid.”

Pooley highlights the risks of being open with your vulnerabilities. Monica feels betrayed because everyone around her knows so much about her, and they may have been using this knowledge to judge her and fix her life. Monica is openly caring to others, but she has a harder time accepting the same treatment. She sees other people’s help as an interference, a harsh judgment that she can’t figure out her life on her own. Monica is extremely intelligent, but she is learning that being smart about people is more difficult than being smart with numbers.

“Surely being happy and straightforward should be a good thing, not some kind of character defect? Uncomplicated doesn’t mean simple, does it?”

Riley’s journal entry reveals feeling misconstrued by others, who see him as silly and simple. Riley uses the journal to reestablish his autonomy. Though Riley has a calm demeanor, he struggles with his own conflicts as well, which people wouldn’t necessarily assume when getting to know him. This makes Riley feel as lonely as the other writers in the journal. Here, Pooley notes that everyone goes through their bouts of loneliness and struggle, not just people with multi-layered problems.

“As for Hazard, she didn’t think she’d ever be able to like someone who played so carelessly with people’s lives. What was he doing here? Who invited him to insert himself into their circle anyway? She’d come across his type before, so used to being admired and getting his own way that they didn’t even question their right to be included.”

Monica believes that Hazard judges her and mocks her, but it is Monica who has also been judging Hazard on his appearance. She automatically assumes his intentions to help her are bad, even though her intentions to help Julian had been good. Monica can’t extend the kindness she shows to other people to herself, so she can’t see when someone else wants to give her that kindness. Monica judges Hazard by boxing him into a “type,” even though Monica worries that other people label her as well. Monica is triggered by Hazard because of her unresolved internal conflicts.

“Monica, I read something on Instagram the other day. It said, Mother is a verb, not a noun. I think it means there are many ways to mother without actually being one. Look at you and your café. You nurture loads of people, every day.

Monica couldn’t quite believe that such a life-altering, if slightly patronizing, thought could come from a woman she’d dismissed so lightly at the beginning of the day, outside a train lavatory, and courtesy of a rather saccharine Instagram meme.”

This quote notes a major development in Monica’s plot and character development. Monica has wanted to be a mother, but all along she has been a mother in her own way. She nurtures herself, her friends, and her business. This revelation is “life-altering,” giving Monica the opportunity to respect herself and the life she had built for herself. Furthermore, this quote shows development because Monica judged Alice harshly until Alice helped her see the value in her single life. Alice is a woman who wants happiness and fulfillment, just like Monica. Instead of coming together, at first Monica wants to avoid Alice because she finds her superficial. But it is Alice who pinpoints a profound truth about Monica’s life. Thus, Monica also learns to extend compassion to people who are threatening to her.

“He had a rather uncomfortable sensation that he only really existed in the eye of the beholder, that when he stopped being noticed, he actually stopped being. Did that make him horribly shallow? And if so, did it matter?”

Julian is characterized by the limitations of his self-analysis. He is more impressed by celebrity than he would admit. In this quote, Julian recognizes the shallower part of his personality, but he quickly dismisses it. Pooley asks her reader the same question Julian asks himself: Did it matter? If Julian is nice to others and good to himself, does it matter that his desire for attention is shallow? Julian fills a void in his life through minor fame, which helps him cope with the loss of his wife and former life. However, Pooley foreshadows that Julian will not find sustainable happiness in a life of notoriety, because fame is so fleeting. Julian has already fallen from fame before, which pushed him into a hermit-like lifestyle. The same cycle could repeat itself again.

“Lizzie felt a wonderful tingle of anticipation. She had always been nosey. It was one of the best things about being a nanny or a maternity nurse—you could learn all sorts of things about a person by having a good old snoop in their knicker drawer. You’d think people would be a little more inventive with their hiding places. And this book looked as if it might hold secrets.”

Lizzie’s nosiness is precisely the issue with the notebook. Although sharing vulnerabilities can be freeing and provide a path to connection, it can also mean giving your secrets up for judgment. Lizzie likes secrets, so the notebook holds gossip, not intimate confessions. In the wrong hands, a notebook like “The Authenticity Project” can pose a danger to the boundaries people necessarily need in their lives.

“It was like coming home. Hazard had forgotten how much he liked this feeling. From that very first sip of champagne, he’d felt his jaw unclench, his shoulders relax, and all the edges fall away. After months of dealing with every emotion with the focus on sharp and the definition high, the booze overlaid everything with a fuzzy filter that made it all softer, kinder, and more manageable.”

Hazard’s relapse is an important moment for character development. Though he characterizes the relapse as “coming home”, Hazard’s relapse teaches him that consuming alcohol and drugs makes him feel worse about himself. If his “home” is a deep sense of self-hatred, then Hazard can learn to better appreciate his efforts at sobriety. The relapse helps Hazard understand his months of sobriety as worth the emotional rollercoaster. He finds kindness in Monica instead of alcohol but can only learn this important lesson by hitting rock bottom.

“This Hazard was different. He looked awful, for a start, tired and saggy and gray, still dressed in a crumpled morning suit, but, more disconcertingly, he looked uncertain. All the bombast and self-confidence of the night before had ebbed away, leaving him diminished. Sad. The light behind his eyes had dimmed.”

Hazard learns how to appreciate himself more after his relapse. Similarly, Monica sees Hazard differently after the relapse. Even though Hazard worries that Monica will judge him for his behavior, Monica can see the emotional toll Hazard’s addiction has taken on him. His bombastic personality is really a front to disguise his sadness. By being vulnerable and showing his worst flaws, Hazard grows closer to Monica because she can finally see him as a multi-layered person. This emphasizes Pooley’s message that vulnerability leads to true compassion between people.

“The English, Riley decided, were much like their weather. They were changeable and unpredictable. Complicated. It would look like it was going to be fine, then a squall would appear from nowhere and hailstones could rain from the sky, bouncing off the pavement and car bonnets. However diligently you checked the cloud formations and the forecast, you could never be quite sure what was coming next.”

Riley’s status as an outsider is largely overlooked by other characters in the novel. Because Riley is so cheerful, it is easy for people to dismiss his feelings. Here, his homesickness and desire to fit in is highlighted as an external conflict. Riley has been kind and open to his new friends, but he never quite found his place among them. Riley is from a different country on the other side of the world from England. His status as a tourist means that the other characters can look past the severity of his conflicts.