The Confessions

Arriving in Savoy with nowhere to stay, Rousseau wanders around before calling on a curate, who sends him to a woman named Madame de Warens. She converted to Catholicism after leaving—and later divorcing—her husband, and the Church offered her a substantial pension with the understanding that she would provide for new converts. When Rousseau meets Warens, he is overcome with infatuation for her. Despite his ardent desire to stay with Warens, another lodger establishes a position for him with a bishop, with the expectation that he will convert and be baptized Catholic. Rousseau is miserable in Turin and suspicious of the religious instruction he receives. He was raised by Calvinists and believes that his theology is rooted in intellectualism and purity. Again, Rousseau finds himself in the position of being forced to abandon his convictions and sense of self.

Rousseau’s instructors take great pains to convert the young Protestant to Catholicism. He resists, claiming that Protestants are more religiously educated than Catholics, as Catholicism demands submission, rather than educated enlightenment. Rousseau delights in challenging his instructors and ridiculing what he views as their ignorance. He reveals that one of the priests with whom he frequently argues takes a sexual interest in the young man and attempts to rape him, before ejaculating into the fireplace. When Rousseau reports the incident, he is told to stay quiet about the matter. When he ignores this command and spreads the story of his experience, he is told that he should be honored by the affection the priest had for him.

Rousseau later participates in a ceremony that converts him to Catholicism, an action that is later reversed. At that moment, he feels himself a hypocrite and a fool. After the ceremony, Rousseau has nowhere to go and is forced to live on the street. However, he does not feel destitute; for the first time in his life, he feels that he has total freedom. He wanders the city, taking in the sights and relying on the generosity of others. He offers his work as an engraver to a wealthy woman, under the care of her husband’s clerk. Although Rousseau is attracted to his benefactor, neither has the courage to pursue the other. Her husband soon kicks him out, and Rousseau takes a position as a scribe to a dying woman. When the woman dies, Rousseau steals a ribbon that belonged to her. When the theft is discovered, he blamed another servant, and both are dismissed.

After leaving his position in disgrace, Rousseau feels aimless and unhappy. He begins exposing himself to women in alleyways. He describes these exploits as comical for the women on the receiving end of his actions. During this time, Rousseau cultivates relationships with acquaintances he met while he was in service to the dying woman. One of these acquaintances is a young tutor from whom Rousseau learns to pursue happiness despite financial circumstances. He obtains a position as a valet for a count and enjoys liberal freedom in his new position. While there, the count’s son, a French military commander, educates him.

Rousseau fails to recognize the advantages his position in the count’s home and the education he receives there afford him. He befriends a lively young man with whom he wants to travel, which provokes his dismissal from the count’s home. The two young men devises a plan to trick peasants into giving them food and gifts. Their scheme fails, and they increase their pace toward their destination: the home of Madame de Warens. When they arrive in Annecy, the two men part ways, and Rousseau secures a place in Warens’s home. At first, his relationship with her is that of mother and son. Rousseau is jealous of her attention, and he worships everything she touches. Warens devises a plan for Rousseau to enter seminary, and the bishop agrees to pay his fees.

At seminary, Rousseau is assigned a kind and patient tutor from whom he learns little, and he returns to Warens with no hope of pursuing the priesthood. He meets a choirmaster and composer who takes an interest in him, so he studies with the man and surrounds himself with musicians. When the choirmaster decides to run away after a perceived slight, Warens asks Rousseau to assist him. While in Lyons, the choirmaster has a fit—possibly brought on by alcohol withdrawals—and Rousseau abandons him. He returns to Warens’s home, only to find she has left for Paris.