60 pages • 2 hours read
Chandler BakerThe Husbands: A Novel
Fiction | Novel | Adult | Published in 2021A modern alternative to SparkNotes and CliffsNotes, SuperSummary offers high-quality Study Guides with detailed chapter summaries and analysis of major themes, characters, and more.
Themes
The Persistence of Marriage Inequality
The continuation of marriage inequality is responsible for the “wife rage” and resentment Nora feels. Society’s Gender-Based Double Standards pave the way for women to feel accountable for the home and kids and for men to consider these areas are women’s work. This happens on an institutional level as well as in individual relationships. For instance, Nora blames the rarity of paternity leave for reinforcing this belief, though many husbands, like Hayden, do contribute more to the household than their fathers did. Dads’ confidence in their own evolution, coupled with an often unconscious misogyny and unreasonably high expectations of mothers, perpetuates inequality between heterosexual partners when it comes to managing a household and family.
Hayden’s failure to recognize how much more Nora does for their home and their daughter is the catalyst for her “wife rage.” Nora “sometimes stands at the kitchen sink, fantasizing about what would happen if she died. She […] would certainly kill to see the look on [Hayden’s] face when he realized how much work she does at home” (47). This line of thought is supported by Cameron’s “lazy traveler” theory. Nora feels lucky about many aspects of her marriage, but the frequency with which Hayden disappears, leaving her to handle a messy house, work obligations, and childcare, paired with his defensiveness when she broaches the subject demonstrates his “baked in” belief that these are wife-and-mom duties, not father-dad ones. His suggestion that Max and Roman need to “grow a pair” (100) because they enjoy home organization websites is further indication of his deep-seated belief that housework is women’s domain. Andi’s assessment of Hayden, that he’s a “good guy” who isn’t “threatened by accomplished women” underscores the unconsciousness of Hayden’s chauvinism though the ease with which he allows Nora to assume bedtime or hosting responsibilities demonstrates the persistence of inequality regardless of husbands’ intentions. Nora thinks of herself as the “safety net […] the default setting” (49). Nora is the one who must remember everything—where Liv took off her shoes, when Teacher Appreciation Day is, what groceries need to be bought, what’s for dinner—or these things don’t get done.
The inequality in heterosexual marriages is less overt than it once was, but this makes it even more insidious within the novel. Hayden believes “[t]hat things are equal now. Fifty-fifty partnerships […]” (91). This sincere belief makes it harder for Nora to get through to him and adds to her own guilt for being unable to magically do it all. Hayden lauds his and other husbands’ “modern marriages,” even telling Nora, “you don’t give me enough credit” (65). Because he’s more involved than his own father, Hayden congratulates himself and finds fault with Nora. His sense of security makes it that much more unlikely that he will really hear her.
It is this unequal distribution of responsibility that creates and fuels Nora’s resentment, so much so that it resurfaces even after Nora leaves Dynasty Ranch. She asks herself how long husbands expect to be able to dodge responsibility or believe their wives will continue to “drudge,” suggesting that this injustice rationalizes her decision to use the gold pen to manipulate Hayden. This underscores the novel’s message that a society without large-scale gender equality can only perpetuate inequality in marriage, regardless of which gender is in power.
The Possibility of Progress
Hayden isn’t wrong about everything. No marriage in the novel is an “equal partnership,” as the Dynasty husbands take on much more household responsibility than their wives, and his assessment that modern fathers are more involved in their children’s lives than fathers used to be is correct. The differences between Hayden’s generation of dads and his parents’ generation show that progress is possible, but his overestimation of contemporary fathers’ roles in sharing domestic work has broader implications for society.
Hayden’s belief that he does more than his dad demonstrates the possibility of movement toward marital equality. He tells Cornelia, “I can’t imagine not being involved with Liv. I mean, I doubt my dad ever gave me a bath or anything like that” (92). His mom corroborates this: “When I was your age men hardly changed diapers […]. Men of your generation […] want to be so involved” (145). Nora never suggests that Hayden isn’t an involved father. She thinks, “He is evolved, just not far enough” (157). A big part of Nora’s frustration comes from Hayden’s habit of thinking of himself as progressive, and it is precisely his delight in compliments that makes him so responsive to therapy. He is so busy patting himself on the back that he never considers why modern fatherhood must look different from traditional fatherhood or how much room there is left to grow as a dad and partner.
The reason for this disconnect in Nora and Hayden’s perceptions of how much he helps is because they are using two different points of comparison. He does not realize how great the disparity was between his mother and father’s household and childrearing duties was, so he can only see his behavior as progress. Growing up, he compared himself to his father, not his mother. Nora, on the other hand, knows how great the disparity is between both generations of mothers and fathers in sharing household duties because she is the one making up for her partner’s shortcomings. Even with the progress Hayden’s generation has made, the gap is still too big. She and Hayden can’t see eye to eye, because she can see this, but he cannot.
Hayden fails to recognize that the changes to traditional fatherhood are the result of a massive change in women’s roles. Even when women primarily stayed home, their home and childcare responsibilities were unrealistically high. Now, inspired by the popular idea of having it all, more women have careers but are still expected to do the majority of parenting and domestic work. Maternity leave signals progress, but as Nora points out, maternity leave without corresponding paternity leave reinforces the belief that moms should be primarily responsible for childcare. Cornelia correctly insists that women often internalize these ideas too, which means that women like Nora have to let go of their need and desire to control the domestic space to make it possible for men to step out of their helper roles and become co-primary caregivers.
Society’s Gender-Based Double Standards
A double standard is a set of principles that applies more strictly to one group than another other. The text highlights many such double standards, which are perpetuated by society, and they contribute to The Persistence of Marriage Inequality and stunt the progress toward greater equality in heterosexual relationships and heteronormative society at large.
The expectation that women will bear responsibility for the care of sick or injured family members and children is one double standard that adversely affects women, regardless of their other responsibilities. Though Nora was married and working full time, her single brother Tom abdicated all but financial responsibility when their mother became ill. At the time, “there’d been little discussion about whose life was going to be upended” (56). No one faulted Tom for failing to drop everything to care for his mother. However, at her funeral, their mother’s friends “fussed over [Nora], saying how lucky her mother was to have a daughter to care for her” (56). It didn’t matter that Tom was single and had fewer other obligations. Further, Nora is penalized for taking maternity leave when the drop in her billable hours is held against her during her bid for promotion. When Nora asks Gary if she was “expected […] to make those hours up,” he says, “Not entirely” and moves on quickly (61). Gary won’t admit to penalizing Nora for taking maternity leave, but he can’t offer another explanation for the committee’s concerns. Because the company doesn’t offer paternity leave, the fathers who are up for partner have no such blemishes on their records and therefore seem more reliable than Nora.
Moreover, the professional penalties that negatively affect women seem invisible to everyone except those women. Nora’s mother “dedicated herself to homemaking” like many women of her generation; however, when Nora’s father left, her mother, after a 20-year hiatus from working, had to do odd jobs to make ends meet. Nora’s mother did precisely what society expected her to, fulfilling expectations that ultimately disempowered her. This fueled her determination for Nora to get her degree, something “[n]o one can ever take […] away” (55). Her mother could not have anticipated the pressure Nora’s profession would place on her, as she only wanted to make sure Nora had more resources than she did. Nora feels a different kind of desperation that results from her profession and her family’s demands on her time because society’s expectations of mothers have not adjusted to match the increased professional responsibilities that Nora and many women of her generation have. When Dr. Perez tells Nora to “slack off a bit at work” (86), Nora “would love to hear a time when either Dr. Perez or Hayden’s careers have been affected in the slightest by having children” (86-87). Likewise, when Mary wonders why Nora hasn’t shared the news of her pregnancy at work, Mary has no idea that Nora’s first pregnancy left a stain on her professional record.
Ultimately, society still suggests that women should carry the “cross” of household burdens, to get everything done as magically as Rumpelstiltskin, even though women deserve the opportunity to maintain professional identities as well as personal ones, just like men. The novel does not address the burdens men face in their personal and professional lives and the unrealistic demands society places on them. These burdens are real, but they are different than the double standard Nora faces; in many cases, society’s expectations of men do not hinder their career advancement. As expectations for women have risen in the workplace, expectations of mothers have not adjusted for this increase. The gender-based double standards that govern expectations of mothers have not lessened, even with the increased participation of fathers in sharing parenting duties.
