The Soulmate: A Novel

“Mei, as usual, is a particularly calming presence. There’s something about her intelligence, her slow movements, that always puts me at ease. She is an ex-colleague of Gabe’s; funnily enough, it was Gabe who introduced her to Kat. He said he just knew they would hit it off—and, as usual, Gabe was right.”

Although Mei is a supporting character in The Soulmate, she plays an important role. Mei has worked with Gabe and is more skeptical of him than anyone else. This passage is an example of how Hepworth uses Mei’s outside perspective to show that Pippa might be an (unintentionally) unreliable narrator, at least when it comes to Gabe.

“‘I’ve never seen anyone die.’ I pour milk into my tea. ‘Thank goodness. I’m not sure I could handle that sort of trauma.’ There’s a short silence. I look up and find Mum and Mei and Kat exchanging a look. ‘Actually,’ Kat says, ‘I’d say if anyone could cope with it, it’s you.’ I’m not sure what Kat’s getting at, but the three of them are all staring at me right now.”

This quote is an example of how the novels creates a gap between how Pippa sees herself and how others, specifically her family, see her. The look that the three women exchange shows how they all agree on their assessment of Pippa, which Kat voices. Her implication is that Pippa can “cope” with anything because she has held her chaotic marriage together for so long. The gap between Pippa’s self-assessment and her true strength provides the basis for her character’s emotional development.

“That’s what I’m looking for, I realize: something to suggest that her death was inevitable. Why am I looking for that? What is wrong with me?”

Pippa already admitted that she found the position of Gabe’s hands strange—held out as though pushing, rather than trying to grab. However, her resistance to her own doubts shows that Pippa has a narrow perspective when it comes to Gabe. Later, Hepworth will reveal that Pippa has reason to doubt Gabe, as he has lied to her before, which makes her resistance at this point even more notable. Crucially, this passage shows that Pippa does not trust Gabe: This lack of trust foreshadows the breakdown of their relationship and the book’s lack of resolution about Gabe’s true intentions and behavior on the clifftop.

“Max is many things, but he’s not stupid. He knows something isn’t right about my death. He knows that while I would have been upset about what he’d done, I had plenty of ammunition with which to retaliate. Taking my own life isn’t something that I’ve ever talked about, ever considered. It doesn’t make sense and Max knows it. It’s driving him crazy and I have a front-row seat to his misery. But I don’t enjoy it as much as I thought I would.”

This quote offers early insight into Amanda and Max’s marriage. At this point in the novel, Amanda’s unusual way of talking about Max is an intriguing hook. She doesn’t disparage suicide but just notes that she’s never shown any consideration of it—it is uncharacteristic of her, and that is what is making Max miserable. Her comment at the end shows bitterness toward Max and gives the reader a hint about her mistaken belief in his infidelity.

“Max’s business was poised to explode. At work, he was hiring manager upon manager, staffing up teams, delegating. But he needed someone to manage his home life. I knew Max’s first love would always be his business, and I was fine with that. Unlike my mother, I was going to marry with my head.”

Amanda is talking about Max’s business but then merges seamlessly into talking about her role in their marriage. Amanda’s terminology equates her marriage with a business partnership, not because that is how Max sees her but because that is the only way she is comfortable. This passage prefigures Amanda’s realization that she and Max are each other’s first loves: Throughout her life, Amanda denies her love for Max, and after her death, her narrative shows that they both loved each other over everything.

“Visitors came and went, and I acted the part of loving mother for all of them. I even performed it for Gabe. Yes, I feel so much love. It’s mind-blowing. What did I ever do without her? But the truth was, I found it hard to feel much of anything. To me, Freya was a prop in a pointless show I had to perform in, over and over, to no audience.”

After Freya’s birth, Pippa suffers from postpartum depression. She is saying the things that she is expected to say, even though she isn’t feeling them—she doesn’t ask for help because she feels shame, as if there is something wrong with her. This quote illustrates the theme of Societal Expectations of Mothers and Fathers—she feels as if what is happening to her is a reflection on her abilities as a mother.

“They’re at our house a lot, even when we’re not having a crisis. Part of it, I think, is guilt, because last time they’d failed to realize the extent of what had been going on with Gabe until it was too late. Now, I think they are determined to make sure it doesn’t happen again. Unfortunately, it’s too late.”

Here, Pippa admits for the first time that maybe her family doesn’t live nearby simply because they are “close.” However, while she assumes that it is guilt for not seeing that Pippa and Gabe were in trouble before, her family’s reasons are very different. When Pippa finds out, later in the novel, that her family is worried about her and Gabe, she realizes that her family was never fooled about the true state of her marriage, illustrating the theme of Appearance Versus Reality.

“We live in a small coastal town. For the past year we’ve been cruising on our reputation of being good people. Lifesavers! But small towns are notoriously difficult when you aren’t popular. I wonder, suddenly, what the Hegartys would think. ‘They seemed like such nice people. They have children!’”

Throughout the novel, Pippa comments several times on how she, Gabe, and their daughters are viewed by people, imagining what they look like from the outside. This passage exposes Pippa’s fear of judgment by others and the unrealistic idea of the perfect family. Hepworth juxtaposes how Pippa’s family looks from the outside with the tumultuous events of their lives, illustrating the theme of Appearance Versus Reality. In particular, Pippa notes how the children, in particular, help to shape their appearance as a cute, “normal” family.

“It was strange, then, the way we snapped into our roles. There was no emotion, just an exchange of facts. For two emotional people, perhaps it was the only way we could get through it.”

Pippa describes how they deal with Gabe’s confession that he had sex with someone else. She describes the process of a couple that has already been through similar situations with her comment that they “snap[] into [their] roles.” According to Pippa, their retreat into a back and forth “exchange of facts” is because they are emotional people and need to distance themselves from the sensitivity of the situation. The novel will increasingly show, however, that denial of separate feelings is one of the ways in which Pippa continually puts herself second to Gabe.

“Asha’s ability to understand and communicate her emotions always arouses equal measures of fear and pride in me. A few months ago, I found her lying in her room with the curtains drawn and the lights off because ‘I want the outsides to be as dark as I feel on the inside.’”

This passage highlights Asha’s role as a character who confronts things head-on throughout the novel. Her straightforward nature is her most recognizable trait. Asha’s high emotional intelligence means that she is articulate about her feelings, whereas her parents don’t seem to have the same ability. This passage also raises underlying questions about Asha’s mental health and happiness, which Pippa characteristically fails to confront directly. In a narrative centered so much on hereditary mental illness and suicide, Asha’s description of “darkness inside” is a reminder of both her birth parents’ struggles with mental health conditions and the ways in which this might complicate her own future.

“Mei nods. It’s almost as if she’s not surprised. It puzzles me. Mei knows Gabe pretty well. She loves him. She knows he wouldn’t harm anyone.”

The novel again uses Mei to raise questions about Gabe’s trustworthiness in Pippa’s narrative. Because Mei knew him in both personal and professional venues, before she even knew Kat and her family, Mei’s perspective has extra credibility in the novel. This passage shows Pippa to be an unreliable narrator who seeks to deceive herself, as her words show that she wishes Mei were more certain about Gabe than the is herself: She is denying her own doubt by saying that she is “puzzled” by Mei’s.

“It was so typical. Gabe created beautiful things, and I took care of them.”

Pippa has just met and fallen in love with Asha. This idea that Gabe creates while Pippa cares ties into her notion that he is the “hero,” while she is the “helper,” showing the self-effacing way that she views herself and her own value.

“It feels amazing to scream at Gabe. It’s not something I do. We speak respectfully to each other; we tiptoe around each other’s feelings. But there’s something about screaming that feels good, particularly given the banality of the subject. This is normal marital irritation. I focus on it.”

Pippa and Gabe have an established way that they deal with the chaotic events of their lives, which usually involves them distancing themselves from their emotions. In this scene, however, Pippa breaks the rules, which is also uncharacteristic of her. Of all the things that she might have screamed about in the novel, Pippa chooses to lose her temper over a missed vaccination appointment, projecting her anger from everything else onto something simple and fixable. Pippa’s words show an increasing awareness of her need to recognize and communicate her own feelings, suggesting that this is a turning point in her character’s development.

“Gabe and I exchange a glance. That’s it? I want to feel relieved—and I do a little—but the feeling of dread remains lodged inside me. Tamil and her colleague rise to their feet. ‘Oh. Just one more thing.’ And there it is. The reason for the dread.”

Pippa is suspicious of Tamil’s questioning, which is casual and seemingly rote. In this passage, the novel makes a popular culture allusion, as Pippa’s dread is based in, as she admits, watching police detective shows on television. Because of this habit, she is well acquainted with a familiar genre convention in which the detective stops before leaving to ask one more question. Even her words, “Just one more thing,” are a direct quote from Columbo, an American detective television series that established the convention firmly in the mystery/detective genre. The use of allusion here is playful, creating humor around the stereotype of the thriller detective character.

“It’s satisfying to watch the moment Pippa notices Max enter the café. It’s as if she’s seen a ghost. She seems the type who’d be good at concealing her emotions—heaven knows, with a husband like hers you’d have to be—but at the sight of Max, her face drains of all color.”

Over the course of the novel, Amanda’s omniscience grows, and she is able to be present at a scene that she would never normally have access to. Here, she watches as Pippa sees Max at the Pantry, and her satisfaction at the depth of Pippa’s distress reflects her bitterness over Max and Pippa having sex (which turns out to be untrue). Her aside about Gabe offers another perspective on him, showing her character’s role as a foil to Pippa’s narrative perspective.

“‘So…are you sure it’s the house?’ She waits a moment. When I don’t respond, she continues. ‘Because if it were me, I’d be asking if it was something else causing your problems.’”

Pippa’s mother is finally directly confronting her about the state of her marriage. Pippa has always believed that her family could not tell the difference between Appearance Versus Reality in her marriage. However, Pippa’s family is not as unthinkingly in love with Gabe as she is, and over the course of the novel, Pippa comes to an understanding that will force her to confront the realities of her relationship with Gabe.

“Dangerous. That word gives me pause. Gabe had said something similar. Max Cameron isn’t the nice guy everyone thinks he is. I recall my night with him. The fact that I hadn’t sensed his dark side makes me question my judgment—about everything.”

Pippa consistently has trouble assessing the other characters and has misjudged Max just as she misjudged Gabe. She also misreads her family’s constant involvement in her life, reading it as closeness rather than concern. Part of Pippa’s arc involves the revelation in this quote—that with the knowledge she’s gained, she now has to reevaluate many of her judgments. As the novel will show, Pippa will have to acknowledge that Gabe also has a dangerous, dark side.

“Max looks so ordinary, so safe. The kind who would stop to help a woman in a broken-down vehicle, and who would champion women’s rights, while also expecting a home-cooked dinner when he got home from work. Despite this, I feel intimidated. It’s something to do with his presence. His sense of self. The way he is, already, the one in control.”

Pippa admires Max from the moment she meets him and even admits to feeling an attraction to him the first time they meet. She likes the apparent contrast between Max and Gabe: Max seems to be everything Gabe is not—stable and safe. She is, however, somewhat threatened by how powerful he is because Pippa likes to be in control—it is a fundamental trait of her character. This also implies that Max’s gender expectations would place limitations on his partner’s freedoms and role in the relationship.

“How could I not share it with Gabe? He is my husband. For God’s sake, Gabe is me.”

Pippa has just listened to Gabe’s half of his phone conversation with Max and wants to know what happened. One part of Pippa’s character arc involves developing her own identity, separate from Gabe. This statement is typical of her attitude before she begins the process of separating from him: The motif that “Gabe is me” runs throughout the novel. This passage highlights that there is an imbalance in the spouses’ understanding of marriage, where Gabe sees himself as entitled to keep secrets from Pippa and she does not.

“We’re all worried sick about you, Pip. Me, Mei, Mum and Dad. We’ve been worried for years. Why do you think we all moved up here when you did? Why do you think we’re always at your house? […] This isn’t about us being a close family. This is about you. You’ve supported Gabe through a lot. Someone needed to support you.”

Throughout the novel, Pippa’s family has increasingly tried to start a conversation about Pippa’s marriage and Gabe’s mental health. Pippa, however, doesn’t seem to recognize their attempts, and so finally, Kat loses her temper and confronts her directly. This is another point in the novel at which Pippa realizes that her perspective was limited by her love for Gabe and was negatively impacting others.

“We don’t discuss our reasons for any of this, because that would involve Gabe admitting he was worried. Instead, we do it by silent agreement.”

Pippa and Gabe often “tiptoe” around each other’s feelings, avoiding their emotions or slipping into facts-only mode. Pippa attributes this to their deep connection and how well they know each other, claiming that they don’t need to talk about it. However, as it happens several times during the course of the novel, it becomes clear that it is more avoid avoidance. This avoidance suits Gabe, who wants to keep secrets and avoid guilt, but not Pippa.

“He turns and looks me in the eye. ‘I’m going to fix it.’”

Pippa always thinks of herself as the fixer in their relationship, but Gabe has taken charge of the situation. Pippa is put in an unfamiliar position, and the loss of control is uncomfortable for her. This role reversal does have its attractions for Pippa, however, who admired a similar power in Max when she met him. Gabe’s statement will be shown to be hubristic, as he will make things worse rather than better. This is part of the novel’s exploration of a belief in “fixing” things as an illusory bid for control.

“With perspective, you lose glorious things like self-righteousness, self-pity. You still feel deceived and hurt, but they swim among other, more compelling emotions, like understanding, and empathy, and concern. Emotions you don’t necessarily want to feel for those who have caused you pain.”

At the beginning of the novel, Amanda doesn’t understand why she has remained, after death, in this liminal space between life and death. This perspective, however, allows her to see the aftermath of her death, as well as eventually come to understand and feel empathy for everyone involved. It also allows her to finally see the truth about Max’s alleged betrayal and admit the love she feels for him.