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37 pages 1 hour read

Mark Manson

The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*CK: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life

Nonfiction | Book | Adult | Published in 2016

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Chapter 5Chapter Summaries & Analyses

Chapter 5 Summary: “You Are Always Choosing”

This chapter includes six subchapters: “The Choice,” “The Responsibility/Fault Fallacy,” “Responding to Tragedy,” “Genetics and the Hand We’re Dealt,” “Victimhood Chic,” and “There is No ‘How.’” Manson opens with a thought experiment in which he asks us to consider running a marathon under two different scenarios: one with a gun pointed at our head and one without the threat of a pointed gun. He asks us to imagine how the first scenario might yield a different perception of pain than the second scenario. He claims that in the first scenario, the runner would likely feel that the experience was more painful and terrible. He uses this thought experiment to suggest that one reason we suffer is that we focus on things outside of our control. If a gun is pointed at a marathon runner, the runner isn’t freely choosing to do the marathon, which means that the pain isn’t accepted and doesn’t lead to any kind of glory.

Next, Manson discusses William James, a notable American psychologist and one of the early pioneers in the field. James struggled in his youth to figure out in which direction he wanted his life to go. He experienced some significant failures before finally achieving success. Manson uses the story to illustrate that without the failure, without the adversity, James might never have become a prominent figure. Manson notes that how we respond to adversity is vital in how we develop and experience happiness. He borrows from Stoicism and suggests that we shouldn’t focus on things we can’t control, as when bad things happen to us; instead, we should focus on our response to them because that is directly in our control. Manson emphasizes how taking responsibility for our problems is a step toward self-empowerment. In addition, he examines how tragedy in our lives, as traumatic and devastating as it can be, can lead to self-empowerment if we handle the fallout effectively. To illustrate his point, he shares the story of Malala Yousafzai, a girl who incurred a brutally violent injury at the hands of the Taliban. She was nearly killed at 11 years old, but as her health improved, she eventually redirected her energies into being a voice for human rights.

Chapter 5 Analysis

Manson departs slightly from his established pattern of opening chapters. Instead of an anecdote, he poses a thought experiment and asks us to consider a hypothetical in which we’re forced at gunpoint to run a marathon and consider how this experience would be different than if we’d freely chosen to run the marathon. He posits that the pressure of being at gunpoint would make the experience worse, as the runner would likely feel a heightened sense of pain because of being forced to run the marathon. Manson then draws an analogy to life in general: “When we feel that we are choosing our problems, we feel empowered. When we feel that our problems are being forced upon us against our will, we feel victimized and miserable” (91). Therefore, according to Manson, much of our pain resides in how we initially experience it. If it comes from an external source, we’re far more likely to feel as if we’re victims.

At the root of Manson’s claim is whether—or to what extent—pain is self-chosen. In Manson’s view, how we respond to pain is crucial: “We don’t always control what happens to us. But we always control how we interpret what happens to us, as well as how we respond” (93). Here, Manson isn’t suggesting that pain is only a state of mind. He recognizes that psychological pain is real—that it’s not simply mind over matter. However, the key to dealing with it lies in how we choose to respond to it. This mindset likewise demands resiliency and courage.

As a case study, Manson tells the story of Malala Yousafzai, a young Pakistani girl who was targeted by the Taliban. For the crime of speaking out against girls being banned from attending school, Malala was shot in the head. After a lengthy and difficult recovery, Malala chose to use her experience to advocate for others. She didn’t allow herself to be labeled a victim; instead, she channeled her energy in a way that helped people across the world. Her resiliency in the face of such extreme cruelty was a choice that she made, and because of this choice, she has inspired many across the world. Her story exemplifies how we can choose to respond to pain, and Manson includes it to suggest that we all have similar power within us.

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By Mark Manson