The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*CK: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life

This chapter includes five subchapters: “Architects of Our Own Beliefs,” “The Dangers of Pure Certainty,” “Manson’s Law of Avoidance,” “Kill Yourself,” and “How to Be a Little Less Certain of Yourself.” Manson opens by noting that what we consider conventional wisdom in modern times, such as the fact that California is part of the contiguous US and not an island, at one time wasn’t conventional at all. Manson highlights some of the ways that early beliefs in cartography, medicine, and other fields were later proven wrong. Some of the claims that Manson alludes to are wildly off the mark, but he uses them to further his point that everyone is wrong at some point and we should accept this as a fact of life. Learning from our mistakes is a habit that leads to growth—and in Manson’s view, we only inch toward getting things right in life. He doesn’t frame growth as a getting-it-right-or-getting-it-wrong binary; instead, he sees growth as getting it less wrong. In addition, Manson views the quest to be right about everything that happens in life as a potentially destructive pursuit.

Manson introduces another anecdote, this one a description of a study in behavioral psychology. The researchers who conducted the experiment presented a kind of reward system to the participant in which they could earn points via flashing lights. The study began rather predictably, with the researchers providing directives to the participants; however, as it proceeded, the directives were stopped, and the participants were left to figure out on their own how to gain points. What the study reveals about human behavior, among other things, is the human tendency to try to make meaning where there is none—and the inherent skill of our brains to direct our behavior toward a potential reward. Manson uses this anecdote to point out that even though we have amazing brains, we’re still imperfect. The participants of the study were convinced that they somehow figured out the game, when in fact the whole thing was randomly conducted. The participants of the study therefore saw things the way they wanted to believe they saw them. To Manson, this is natural but also something we should be on guard against. Sometimes we’re wrong, and it’s healthy to both acknowledge and accept when it becomes clear that we are.

Manson concludes the chapter by offering ideas for challenging ourselves. The subtitle is “How to be Less Certain of Yourself,” and he poses a series of three questions designed to get us to become self-reflective: “What if I’m Wrong?,” What would it mean if I were wrong?,” and “Would being wrong create a better or worse problem than my current problem, both for myself and others?” (141-43). The questions are meant to direct us toward considering the simple premise that we don’t know everything but that it’s okay to admit it.