War with the Newts

The newspaper has nothing to cover during the summertime, which is noted by both readers and journalists who work there. The type-setter asks the editors about a lead story. They struggle to come up with a story idea, and the type-setter suggests profiling Captain van Toch, who lives in Jevicko.

Newspaper editors, Mr. Golombek and Mr. Valenta, travel to Jevicko and meet the captain. He says he’s traveled to many islands on his old ship—the Kandong Bandoeng from Chapter 1. Then he asks them to invest in a new ship, and shows them some pearls to illustrate that the endeavor would be profitable. The editors don’t have as much money as the captain is asking for. They ask van Toch to share stories from his adventures, but he continues to talk about buying a ship, specifically one in Rotterdam.

Golombek asks the captain if he knows Bondy, and the captain recalls the father (Max Bondy) of the man Golombek knows. G. H. Bondy is a wealthy “captain of industry” (38), which interests van Toch. He recalls Bondy as a small boy, 40 years ago. He offers to introduce the editors to an editor in Surabaya as they leave on a train, then the captain drops a pearl.

The narrator contrasts the plates on the door of father and son, Max and G. H. Bondy. The son’s plate is understated compared to his father’s, and this indicates that he is a greater man. Captain van Toch arrives and gives Bondy’s porter, Povondra, his card. The porter sees him in and takes his card to Bondy. Bondy is intrigued and agrees to meet with the captain.

The captain reminds Bondy about when they used to fight as boys. Van Toch sends Povondra for beer and tells Bondy that he has a business opportunity for him. Bondy is skeptical, but hears the captain out. Van Toch describes the newts, insisting that they are not devils. Povondra returns with the beer as the captain is imitating the way the lizards walk, and he is embarrassed.

The captain tells Bondy about the events of Chapter 1: the divers seeing the newts, and he having to go back to see for himself. After he takes the boat out at night, the captain is able to get the newts to come out of the water onto the island. One hands him an oyster; he opens it with his knife and gives the newt the meat inside. Others bring him the kinds of oysters that don’t produce pearls, and he refuses to open those. He takes out pearls from oysters before giving the meat to the newts, collecting 18 altogether.

However, sharks eat the newts, right in front of the captain. He teaches them how to use the knife to open oyster shells. When he returned the following night, more newts had been eaten by sharks. Then, the captain swears to help them fight the sharks.

Captain van Toch continues to tell Bondy about his experiences with the newts. In all, the newts helped him collect 157 pearls. The captain takes out a journal and reads some entries from it. The Dayak—mentioned in Chapter 1—helped kill the sharks in Devil Bay. He also killed and ate a newt. The newts have names, like Toby and Albert, in the captain’s log, and they built dams. A newt called Sergeant learned to kill fish and eventually hunts sharks with a knife and harpoon.

Van Toch shows Bondy a large number of pearls. The captain describes how the Bataks made him pay money while he fished for oysters on their island. With the help of the newts, the captain fished most of the pearls out of Devil Bay. He hopes that Bondy will invest in a new ship with a water tank. This tank will be used to carry the newts to new locations where they can go pearl diving.

Bondy believes the captain is insane, but can’t argue with the results—the massive amount of pearls. Bondy agrees to meet with van Toch again in a little over a week and keeps the pearls as collateral. The captain asks for two pearls to give to the editors he met in Chapter 2, but he can’t remember their names.

Sailors Jensen and Dingle meet in Marseilles. They discuss Captain van Toch. When Dingle worked for him, he had a large number of lizards on the ship. The lizards made Dingle uncomfortable, and he kicked one. This caused him to have to leave the ship to avoid the captain’s wrath over the violent incident.

Dingle thinks the captain is training the newts for the circus. They learned how to turn knobs on doors, in addition to practicing their skills with knives and harpoons. Dingle also notes how the captain would stay out all night with the lizards, as well as how Van Toch sends small, but well insured, packages to Europe. Dingle heard from an agent that the captain got the newts in Devil Bay, and thinks the captain has “sold his soul” (69) to the devils, being paid in pearls and other gems.

Jensen gets angry at Dingle’s negative portrayal of the captain. Dingle admits that he could have dreamed of the lizards in a delirium while at sea, but Jensen confirms they are real. Dingle suggests they have an Irish mass said for the captain’s soul. Jensen offers to pay for the mass if Dingle writes up an IOU note, and Dingle does. Jensen tells him to keep the note and gives him 12 francs. However, Dingle spends the money on drinking and going to Djibouti.

Abe Loeb watches Li, his sweetheart, nap on the beach. They took Abe’s yacht, the Gloria Pickford, to the island Taraiva. The yacht was a gift from Abe’s parents, who encouraged him to travel in with some friends: Li, Fred, and Fred’s girlfriend Judy. Abe thinks about an altercation between Li and Judy. Fred said he thought Judy’s legs were more attractive than Li’s, and Li got upset about this. Abe considers how he wants to marry Li.

When Li wakes up, she tells Abe she has an idea for a movie starring her as a female Robinson Crusoe. She thinks she would be shipwrecked alone on the island, with the others perishing in the wreck, except for Fred, who would be eaten by a shark. She would act out the scenes alone and naked on Tahuara. Abe, annoyed at her fantasy of being naked, points out other issues with her idea, such as the island not having gorillas and the logistics of getting other characters to the island.

Li talks about how Fred is attractive, and decides to keep him in the imaginary film. She dislikes Abe’s logical questions about her artistic idea, and fantasizes about people giving her pearls in the movie. Then, she takes off her wrap and goes off to swim naked. Abe thinks that she is more attractive when she is dressed. He hears her scream from the lagoon, and she runs back to the shore.

Li tells Abe about the animals that she saw. The newts approach them and make a “ts, ts, ts” (82) noise. Li screams and runs. Abe decides to demonstrate his bravery by picking up her wrap and telling her the animal is just a seal. As it gets dark out, more animals come onto the beach and arrange themselves in a semicircle. The newts repeat the word “knife” and the names of the couple, which Abe and Li have been yelling all the while the newts gather on shore. One of the newts drops pearls on the sand, which Abe picks up.

Abe gives the pearls to Li and tells her they are from the animals, which he calls Tritons. She puts on her wrap and Abe carries her through the semicircle of newts. When the animals continue to say “knife,” Abe starts to run. Once they are through the semicircle, Abe puts Li down. She takes off her wrap and thanks the newts for the pearls while naked. Abe and Li get into the boat and row toward the yacht as Abe reprimands her for showing her body to the animals. She says nudity is part of her art.

The people aboard the yacht debate what the creatures are: Sauria, Tritons, or something else. Li wants to be filmed with the newts and Fred, with Abe running the camera and Judy taking care of lighting. The captain of the yacht suggests they bring some sailors and weapons. Li refuses to kiss Abe before bed that night.

The following day, Li—with the help of Greta, her maid, and Judy—undergoes a long beauty routine. Meanwhile, the men set up to film on the island. They head to the island around sunset, and the captain notices a kind of dam under the water. Once on the island, as they begin to film, the newts arrive on shore. Li stands up in her bathing suit, allowing her wrap to fall off, and raises her arms.

A newt touches Li and she starts screaming. Abe films as Fred and the captain take their guns and go to help Li. At that point, Judy turns on the lights. Greta faints and two sailors capture a newt. It harms one of the sailors. As the newts scurry away, Abe comes up and talks with Li. She finds some pearls on the ground and the group begins to collect pearls on the beach. Judy takes a picture and jokes about the newspapers covering the evening. Fred likes the idea of press coverage. They collect 21 pearls.

Back on the yacht, Fred, Abe, and the captain make up headlines for the newspaper story. Li suggests that, in the film, she becomes queen of the Tritons in their underwater town. Then, a fisherman falls in love with her and is in conflict with the Tritons, who also love her. Fred could come in and save the couple. Fred likes this movie plot, and it becomes a “monster film” (101).

The film is eventually made, financed by Abe’s family. Before it goes into production, the captured newt dies after being in Li’s bathtub for a couple of days. The lagoon footage is dark and blurry. Various international newspapers end up covering the encounter on the island, and there is much debate on the topic of what the creatures are. A professor thinks the film from the island is a fake, but the animals resemble the giant tectibranchiate salamanders. Also, Abe and Judy get married, with Fred as their best man. Li says she is dedicating herself to her art.

The narrator discusses sightings of the creatures and the newspaper coverage of them in different locations around the world. The legend of the Tritons and Li inspired a musical revue in New York and young people to only wear pearls on the beaches of California and Florida. Then, there is a long excerpt from a Federal Geographic Magazine report.

The excerpt includes descriptions of the salamanders, which walk using two feet on land, but mostly live in the sea. On Tongareva Island, the scientists kill two salamanders when the salamanders come toward the scientists threateningly. The scientists do an autopsy of the salamander, and the excerpt includes a sketch of the skeleton. The report also presents ideas about the connection between the salamanders that they study with other, similar creatures. A fossil of a similar salamander is described by Dr. Scheuchzer as the “remains of antediluvian man” (107), or a man who witnessed a great flood.

Generally, the scientific community classifies the salamander as Andrias Scheuchzeri. Some Indigenous groups claim these creatures can talk, are poisonous, and build underwater dams. Other locations where the salamanders have been seen are listed, with more details about them.

After the report excerpt, the narrator outlines some of the scientific discussions about the salamanders from various locations. Different countries claim they have unique salamanders, and the debate over salamander nationality overwhelms other discussions. One Andrias Scheuchzeri is put in the London Zoo.

In the London Zoo, Mr. Thomas Greggs, the man who runs the Reptile House hears the Andrias Scheuchzeri talking. The salamander repeats what visitors to the zoo have said. Greggs gives it some bread and finds out it will repeat what he says. After that day, he begins teaching the salamander more words.

One day, the director of the zoo, Sir Charles Wiggam, comes into the Reptile House. The salamander introduces himself as Andy, or Andrew Scheuchzer. Wiggam reprimands Greggs for teaching an animal circus tricks. Later, Wiggam brings a scientist named Professor Petrov to talk to Andy. They discover that Greggs has taught Andy to read. Andy repeats phrases he has seen in the newspaper when the professor asks him questions. The professor asks Andy if he will talk to some other scientists, and Andy agrees.

A part of the report by these scientists published in Natural Science is excerpted. It includes an interview with Andy, who repeats what he has learned in the newspapers. The report concludes that a salamander can talk and read, but is only as intelligent as the average Englishman. This causes Andy to become famous. People who visit him at the zoo bring chocolate and other candies. Overconsumption of these unhealthy snacks causes Andy’s death. The narrator notes how fame affects the newts in a negative fashion.

Povondra, Bondy’s employee, goes to a fair with his 8-year-old son, Frantik. A man puts up signs for Captain J. van Toch and his talking newts. Povondra recognizes the name and discovers the performer is just impersonating the captain. He has a newt in a tank and a large wife. The show, which Povondra begrudgingly pays for, includes the newt holding a stick, drumming with it, tying a knot, and talking. The newt does a few math problems, one posed by Frantik, but gets worn out quickly.

Povondra, worried about getting his money’s worth, asks the man if he has anything else to show them. He says his wife, Mary, used to be the fattest woman in the world. She shows them her red stockings, and Frantik asks his father about them after they leave.

The press and its readers become very interested in the talking newts. Professor Dr. Vladimir Uher writes an article for the Lidove Noviny that questions the origins and sudden appearance of the Andrias Scheuchzeri. It is a saltwater salamander, which makes it unique. The editors thought this article might be too academic for their readers.

However, a newspaper reader sends Professor Uher a letter. The reader found an old newspaper clipping with an article titled “On Men-Lizards” and enclosed it. The article mentions salamanders on an island in the Australian seas. They live in a saltwater lake there. Sailors kill two salamanders and take two salamanders aboard their ship. The salamanders escape into the open sea.

Professor Uher is excited about this historical document and annoyed that it doesn’t include a specific date or publication name. He takes notes about how the sailors were responsible for the salamanders entering a new environment. That environment speeds along their evolution, and they migrate to look for food. The professor speculates that if the salamanders had not been isolated to the singular lake, they could have evolved to become the Miocene man. He also wonders if they will continue to evolve.

These notes become an article that the professor submits to the newspaper. He hopes for a larger readership with a newspaper than with a scientific journal. However, the editors believe the article is too academic for the paper, already unhappy about the academic nature of the professor’s previous article. They do not publish it.

Bondy, the Chairman of the Pacific Export Association (PEA), opens their general meeting with an announcement that Captain van Toch died from a stroke on Fanning Island. Then, the Director, Mr. Volavka, tells the group that pearls are no longer profitable. They have had some luck in selling coral and similar things from the sea, but items like cloth and pans are more profitable than decorative items.

An excerpt from the report of the meeting begins with Dr. Hubka asking if the PEA should be dissolved. They begin discussing the newts publicly—they are honest and industrious workers, says Bondy. He notes how van Toch died while looking for new places to dive for pearls. Various PEA members discuss how the captain spoiled the newts with nice weapons and food, but now that he is dead, they can treat the newts differently.

Curt von Frisch suggests having the newts build dams and other underwater constructions. Bondy notes that this is already being considered and that the company has six million newts. He discusses projections of newt numbers expanding. Von Frisch asks if newts can be eaten, and Gilbert replies that they cannot be and their skin can’t be used for making any goods. Bondy discusses moving away from the captain’s adventurous style and “fairy tale of pearls” (145).

Bondy later argues for using the newts as a cheap labor force for underwater work. He offers to buy up the shares of those who are uninterested in being involved in the new business endeavor. Gilbert mentions that they don’t know how long newts live. Volavka lists the different kinds of things that newts can construct in water and points out that the newt farms have been operating without legal status. They discuss how they can’t control newts from breeding after being sold to contractors.

Bondy notes that they will not have a monopoly on newts anymore. He says they are forming the Salamander Syndicate after dissolving the PEA It will be in charge of exploiting the newts for labor—providing their food, transportation, insurance, etc. They plan to offer newts at a lower cost than other people who might breed them would. Also, the syndicate would work with the companies that provide the materials for construction, such as wood and stone. He admits that there is already an experiment of newts working at underwater construction in Saigon. Bondy argues that newts giving people the capacity to expand construction into the oceans will lead to utopia.

After the report excerpt, the narrator describes the vote about the Salamander Syndicate, which passes with 87% in favor of it. Mr. Weisberger asks Bondy if has ever seen a newt, and Bondy says he hasn’t. Furthermore, he doesn’t think it is important to know what newts are like. 

This section describes how the newts reproduce. The female Andrias Scheuchzeri lays eggs which become tadpoles. They reproduce seasonally, in April. A male newt temporarily associates with a female newt, following her around and trying to connect his mouth to her snout. Eventually, he releases sperm into the water. Then, the female will lay eggs in several batches. The later batches come days after the male newt has left her alone, but are still fertilized.

Captivity changes the mating habits of the newts. Males will become violent toward females and try to keep them from eating. Blanche Kistenmaeckers observes that a “Sexual Milieu” (155), rather than copulation or direct contact with sperm, is what results in fertile eggs. She learns that the newt’s sperm has an acidic chemical agent which signals the female to fertilize her own eggs. If this agent could be reproduced, the male newts would be unnecessary for reproduction.

This sexual milieu means that the paternity of newts is unclear. The males seem to be the ones who need the process of mating, while the females are indifferent to it, or more rational about it. Another experiment revealed that other fluids, like those from the epidermal glands of the newt, also cause females to fertilize their eggs.

The male newts engage in a Salamander Dance under the full moon, except in April. This dance shows how the males act as a collective sexual force, rather than individual ones. The females do not take part in this dance and are more solitary than the males generally. The solidarity of the males is of special note.