We Have Been Friends Together

This three-stanza poem details the speaker’s attempt to mend a rift in a long-standing friendship. The speaker addresses the friend, going over various stages in their lives. The first stanza concentrates on the pair’s early friendship in childhood while the second stanza focuses on the amusing times they have had. The third stanza shows that the friendship has weathered serious hardships. Since the speaker and the friend are currently at odds, the speaker repeatedly pleas for understanding and reunion throughout the poem.

The speaker begins by stressing the longevity and flexibility of the friendship. The speaker and the friend “have been friends together” (Line 1) in both “sunshine and in shade” (Line 2). This suggests the pair have previously enjoyed happy times—as represented by “sunshine” (Line 2)—and survived more difficult ones—as represented by “shade” (Line 2). The friendship has gone on for a lengthy period of time, having started in “infancy” or childhood (Line 4). The speaker notes fondly how the pair “played” (Line 4) together “beneath the chestnut-trees” (Line 3). However, the current argument has caused a deep conflict. A “coldness” (Line 5) now lives within the friend’s “heart” (Line 5), suggesting the friend feels truly betrayed. The friend’s forehead is described as possessing “a cloud” (Line 6) upon it, metaphorically describing an expression of concern or dismay. It also signifies that the friends are now in a period of “shade” (Line 2) with the sun “cloud[ed]” (Line 6) over. The speaker reiterates the phrase, “we have been friends together” (Line 7) to insist the friendship is long-standing and should remain so. When the speaker asks “[s]hall a light word part us now” (Line 8), they suggest the argument was caused by a small slight that shouldn’t cause permanent damage. Yet, while the speaker imagines whatever was said was amusing and/or frivolous, there is no evidence the friend interpreted the event in the same way. Instead, the friend’s “cloud[y]” (Line 6) expression and emotional “coldness” (Line 5) seem to suggest the “word” (Line 8) exchanged was significantly more serious or hurtful to the friend than the speaker believes.

The speaker tries to lead the friend into thinking of all the fun they’ve had together, to help the friend remember the good times. The speaker notes how the friends have “been gay together” (Line 19). (Note: “gay” was a 19-century word for “happy” and generally not used at this time to indicate sexual identification.) The speaker elaborates on how the pair “laugh’d at little jests” (Line 10), speaking of the tiny jokes friends often share. Further, the speaker notes that during this time “the fount of hope was gushing / Warm and joyous in our breasts” (Lines 10-11) and “hope” (Line 10) was as abundant as water in a spouting fountain. The friendship was overflowing with happiness. This abundance is hard for the friend to remember, however. “Laughter now [has] fled [their] lip” (Line 13) and they are no longer as happy as they were once. This is confirmed by the speaker’s observation that “sullen glooms [their] brow” (Line 14), again showing how the friend wears a “sullen” or sad expression on their face. The friend seems unlikely to remember any happy time even as the speaker insists again that they have “been gay together” (Line 15). Again, the speaker wonders, “Shall a light word part us now?” (Line 16). Something said has put a wedge between the two friends.

In Stanza Three, the speaker changes tactics. They acknowledge the sadness of the friend by saying the two have also survived the difficult times that have plagued them, alluding to the “shade” (Line 2) they weathered previously. Perhaps this is just another case of a bad time shadowing their connection. The speaker states the friends have “been sad together” (Line 18) and notes they have “wept, with bitter tears / O’er the grass-grown graves, where slumber’d / The hopes of early years” (Lines 18-20). Those plans and desires that flowed freely from the “fount of hope” (Line 10) in Stanza 2 are now dead and buried, lying in ”grass-grown graves” (Line 19). This suggests that much of what was “warm and joyous in our breasts” (Line 12) has long passed. The graves are not new but have existed long enough that “grass” (Line 19) has covered the dirt. However, the speaker urges the friend to remember those hopes, correlating them to the dead who once had “voices” (Line 21). These dead “hopes” (Line 20) would beg the friend “to clear [their] brow” (Line 22). They would wish the friend would soften the “sullen” (Line 14) expression passing over like a “cloud” (Line 6). The speaker, significantly, doesn’t say “a light word” (Line 8, Line 16) has caused the problem this time. By alluding to the “graves” (Line 19) however, the speaker does suggest the friends reconcile before a permanent parting—or death.

The friend’s ultimate decision is not recorded, but the speaker’s plea is plaintive nonetheless. The arguments center on the speaker’s belief that the friendship has weathered both “sunshine” (Line 2) and “shade” (Line 2) and should not be tossed away over a misunderstanding. The speaker pleads for the friend not to reject the offer of reconciliation.