17 pages • 34 minutes read
Caroline Elizabeth Sarah NortonWe Have Been Friends Together
Fiction | Poem | Adult | Published in 1850A modern alternative to SparkNotes and CliffsNotes, SuperSummary offers high-quality Study Guides with detailed chapter summaries and analysis of major themes, characters, and more.
Themes
Attempting to Mend the Estrangement of Friends
Close friendships often face moments of crises due to miscommunication. This sort of crisis is displayed here. While the friendship in Norton’s poem has existed since “infancy” (Line 4) and has survived both “[i]n sunshine and in shade” (Line 2), some rift now threatens its progress forward. While the speaker thinks the argument is over a “light word” (Line 8), it is a much deeper cut for the friend. The friend is visibly upset and the speaker notes “coldness dwells within [their] heart” (Line 5), suggesting a deep emotional fissure. To mend this sense of being pitted against each other, the speaker uses two techniques to solve the problem. The first is to remind the friend of their shared experience while the second is to make the friend think about their future. As children, the friends “played” (Line 4) together, and in their youth they shared amusements, happiness, and “hope” (Line 11). Even when those “hopes” (line 20) were dashed, they comforted each other when they “wept bitter tears” (Line 18). A key way to mitigate a conflict is to remind the opposing party of a common cause or what brought the affected people together in the first place. The speaker also attempts to mend things by forcing the friend to think of the future. This is done throughout the poem when the speaker wonders why “a light word” (Line 8, Line 16) should destroy such a long-term friendship. Wouldn’t it be better, the speaker posits, if they faced the future together? Whether the argument works is left off the page, but Norton does create a clear portrait of the speaker’s attempt to salvage the friendship.
Deflated Hopes for Togetherness
“Whatever” “light word” (Line 8, Line 16) passed between the speaker and their friend hurt the latter deeply. This is evident in the friend’s facial expression. Their distress is shown on their “brow” (Line 6, Line 14, Line 22) which is described as distorted by a “cloud” (6) and “sullen glooms” (Line 14) that must be “clear[ed]” (Line 22). The friend’s heart is also described as suddenly cold. Why would the friend be so affected by the seemingly “light word” (Line 8, Line 16) of the speaker? While the speaker’s exact comment is unrecorded, clues to its subject are alluded to in the poem. Since they are mentioned both in Stanza Two and Stanza Three, it is possible the speaker’s comment refers to the “hopes of early years” (Line 20) that friends shared. The “fount of hope” (line 11) is brought up in Stanza Two. At this point the pair’s future possibilities are mutual, “gushing / Warm and joyous in our breasts” (Line 12). Their feeling is unified, which is revealed by the use of the word “our” (Line 12). However, for some reason the ”hope” (Line 11) shown here dies later. In Stanza Three, the “hopes of early years” (Line 20) now rest in “grass-grown graves” (Line 19) with no chance for revival. The speaker hopes the friend will remember these long ago “hopes” (Line 20) and be moved to soften toward them, but this very remembrance may be the center of the conflict. Norton deliberately contrasts the “coldness” (Line 5) that now “dwells within [the friend’s] heart” (Line 5) with the description of the “fount of hope [that] was gushing / warm and joyous in our breasts” (Line 12). Both images center on the heart, but the friend’s heart is singular, no longer part of an “our” (Line 12). This contrast may indicate what caused the friend’s pain. It seems a once deeper “togetherness” is in some way cut off, and the speaker has reminded the friend of it. The speaker thought their remark about this past was either amusing or flippant, but it opened a wound for the friend, perhaps reminding them of an unrealized desire.
Longevity
Despite the current estrangement the friends are experiencing, the speaker hints that their friendship is salvageable. This is based on the speaker’s focus on longevity. Since this friendship has weathered previous moments of “shade” (Line 2), it is likely it will continue to grow. The speaker mentions the “chestnut-trees” (Line 3) to indicate the kind of English landscape the children grew up in but also to hint at the loyalty between them since the chestnut tree is a symbol of longevity. The speaker isn’t willing to accept that some small argument is going to cause a permanent break despite the friend’s clear anger, asking at least three times about parting—once per stanza—implying the ridiculousness of such a plan. The speaker points out the friendship has lasted through childhood, young adulthood, and even deeper into their adulthood. It has flourished under youthful hopes and survived the depletion of those “early hopes” (Line 20). The speaker convincingly indicates, based on this longevity and this long-term understanding, the friend should “clear thy brow” (Line 22) and forgive the speaker. The speaker implies the only thing that should really part them is death, a compelling argument to turn the friend back to the “sunshine” of the friendship.
